Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to (in my interpretation)

Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Dear world,
Actually I wanted to have someone I didn't talk to as much but the fact is that it's not the whole world either but it's all my family, friends and acquaintances. I'm just a lil weird or not so social. I have a hard time relating to you all and I don't know why. I wish everybody was like a best friend but as much as I speak freely and i let go of many things I hold, sometimes it feels as though you got caught up in the moment I was throwing up all my burdens and happy moments. I don't know why I have a hard time trusting people, having you get closer to me... Maybe it feels as though everybody who I have allowed to talk to me has somehow disappointed me and left me -- you happen to be out of luck. I don't mean to be distant, I wish I can try but the harder I try to get closer the weirder I feel (You know those awkward moments of silence? Well that's how I feel inside)... it feels like it's something new each time. I have no problem speaking to strangers who I know I will never see in my life but I want more than a one-day stand with a stranger on my life. I crave the need to have you there with me, giving me advice, helping me. And I want to be there as well but I just don't know how this can happen. I have so much to offer and I'm sure you do too. I just can't pin point but I know i've been like this since like I was like 4-5 yrs old. Sorry, I don't have time either, I've been caught up taking care of family issues.But, I don't mind a catch up date... that's why we're friends right? Yea, I don't have that many girl friends-- I mean I do but I don't... and it's mainly because I hardly relate. And the thing was when I had my son I related less to girls and as they grew up they related to me... but they were lucky.They were having kids and I then again felt left out being alone and they had husbands... Some are married, even some who had been single mothers and I don't understand what happened to me. I have male friends and none who are that close either... The funny thing when I was younger I would talk more to guys because I found them more interesting. They were smarter I felt and well I wasn't girly, I was a bit dark... we would arm wrestle and tease each other. The moment I got pregnant they realized that I in fact was a girl (sad, I know) and the way they saw me changed, so all of a sudden I was felt completely alone. I wish you wouldn't have put a small rock in my path to get closer to you. I wish we can talk more. In fact I wish you would talk to me more... And I do try I really I do but I know I still come out a little more as superficial because nobody is use to me being this way. If I told you that it's the way the  whole "family flores" is, you wouldn't believe me until you went to a family gathering and you would feel all those fun loving akward moments. Trust me... My dad makes every situation awkward. I guess it's part of who I am. I don't want you to leave me alone and I don't want you to feel I have abandoned you. It's my weird way of showing you love. If in fact I do say something its more than to those who I really don't say anything at all. And I mean this, you mean a lot to me. You come into my life one day at a time and I hold a small area for you no matter what. All I'm saying is that because I cannot show you everyday, please don't give up on me. I guess when people give up on me... I slowly give up on everybody...
From the bottom of my heart,
Reyna





BTW - feel free to read the other days if you're interested... They're all linked :)
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Day 1 - Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror