Thursday, January 19, 2006

My son was born

 Well as most people know my baby wasborn and he is about to be 6 weeks on saturday. The time is  goingby so fast and I love him so much... His name is Arturo Daniel Schmidtbut I call him Danny and my family calls him "principito" meaing littleprince for you know my name means Queen in Spanish. I am very happythat he has come into my life and he is helping begin a whole new life.Although he and I are a family of 2 I am not giving up.Life is tooprecious for the both of us for me just to give up on him just hisdaddy wanted to do for us. I wont lie I still love him in my heart andI always had hope but but even though I guess the heart should be ableto love and let go. I cant keep on trying to hold my broken hearttogether because eventually the pieces will get so small from all thepain that I give up. I think I will allow it to restore itself so thatmy heart is not as weak anymore. I have always know that love is noteasy and it's painful also and yes I agree. The pain I had at he pointof having my baby at shockingly, paralizing, unbearable, bone breakingpain.That was my love for the baby that allowed to protect him from thebegining. There is nothing I wouldn't do for him and the first gift Idid( or chose) was Danny over his father. If it would have been theother way around I would have been lonely with the shame of a wrong,and My cute little love wouldn't be here. But he is because I loved himand he is mine. Until my death I am his mother to do all that I need todo to protect, love, sacrifice. All that was mine is now his. There isnothing more valuable in my life than him.