So now I am realizing that I was getting lust (a little) and thanks to Saturday I was able to stop it. B. Called me today and was trying to be all sweet and I pretty much blew him off. I felt  bad when but when you don't feel like anything. I told him to call me back to I could supposedly put the baby to sleep but I was eating and I didn't feel like talking. I know he says he wants me but I don't want anything any more. I mean I really want to meet him in person so we get to know each other but I think what is going to happen is that, well it's complicated. I am going to have it all ligit  otherwise he can forget anything is going to happen. I always wanted a romantic guy and all that comes with it. I know eventually sex comes along but I am going to make him wait and realize that just b/c I have a kid doesn't mean I am easy or willing to give myself to him just b/c we are talking. I not going to look up to a guy. It's going to be equal and I am not going to be sunmissive anymore. I have power also. And he is proving that I have more than what I thought I did. Yeah so he is going to get mad but I don't care b/c it's not like he is my boyfriend or anything. We are just talking and that is it. Besides I am beginning to tell that that I might not like him after all. We have talkd for a month but he hasn't made an effort to see me it's more like he's trying to have sex but things dont work like that. I am a changed woman. If some thought I was mean well I am nicer. But like my ex just told me the other day I am a little bitchier but not in a bad way just in a protective way. So people deal!!!

so I am back after like over 4 months and yeah Danny is almost 9 months and I have spent the last 4 months with him and I am about to leave in a week to school. So many things have change since the last time I wrote.
Ok so Danny does have a half brother, Raymond Anthony Schmidt, and he just turned 4 months on the 20th. Well I started talking to My ex's girl and she is pretty cool. We seem to enjoy each other when we are talking over aim. I remember just hating her but I guess we got over ourselves. I think it will be good for our kids at the end. I will admit when I went to go pick her up to go get our babies to take pictures I was still a little angry but once we started talking everything was going alright. I guess we'll see how our life turns out at the end, right? We all have destinys and only time will tell. So I don't  really have any more feeling for my ex, I learn to start coping with that slowly I guess. Well When I started talking to her he seems like a total different person and well it still nice talking to her.
So I started talking to a new guy... and well I am starting to have my doubts. ... so that's all you get. for now