 | Currently Funny People By Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, Leslie Mann, Eric Bana, Jonah Hill see related
So today I was wondering about marriage ... yea random thoughts come to my mind.  Well as little girls it's weird how the thought of marriage gets involved at such a young age. The weird part is that even though your parents would like to have you marry at some point the thought of really thinking about it would be scary, sex haha (off track, Ooops) Ok, it's nice being so naive in life and not knowing what it (marriage) involves you just know it's something you will want one day. A husband and [insert random number of kids], a house but you don't know really know why you want it, it's just normal to want something like it since young. Now, boys on the other hand don't grow up with the thoughts of being hooked into a marriage. It's probably the last thing in their minds (most or all). Boys grow up wanting other things in life, cars, and who knows what. Just having fun and doing what ever boys do. Boys when they think of girls they think "cooties" or as they get older "nagging" ... I don't know what stereotypes (or real life experiences) they have on women. It gets to a point where 2 people start thinking about not wanting to be alone for the rest of their life while others prefer to have the single life. The thought of marriage can be so illusive but peaceful and wonderful when you have that person you think you "love"... is it "love"? Is it the same feeling or different than you have ever felt with someone else... Can you make it work? Are you committed enough to make it work from the get go? Would you let it fail or how would you prevent it from failing? Just as many don't think about what it entitles just the feelings that come with it... and well the excitement: the unexpected of "the question" and the joy of "the ring" ... is that what your life climaxes to? To wait for someone to pop the question, for you to ask the question or to just give the answer? ("Yes, I will" etc) Many people just want that so much when they actually get into a marriage everything changes and then they whine and complain how nothing is the same anymore... Is that why marriage fails because you have different expectations of what life really will be? Or really because you don't know what happens after...We don't know for certainty but in your mind you should start preparing. Your dream never included that you would have to wake up early and make breakfast, or lunch, or dinner (for either party, depending on work schedule) because suddenly you needed to include someone else's agenda and not just yours... not to mention washing, dishes, cleaning, .... and what if you end up pregnant.... It happens you know... Kids... sleepless nights, poop, throw-up... what about when kids get sick and cry all night: Colics, ear infections, fevers, colds and every other unexpected thing. I guess don't aren't part of the dream. It's where people fail because they didn't know they suddenly had to have other obligations... yes OBLIGATIONS. I'm not married or know what a marriage is like so I'm asking how people feel about what they've grown up thinking and feeling about marriage and how you feel about it now. So my question is: What does Marriage mean to you and why? Why get married? What expectations do you have for yourself or for your future spouse... (If your married: Is it what you expected?) Has divorce ever been an exit plan? |
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Marriage: What is it to you?
Saturday, December 24, 2011
We don't have gifts but we have love to give
In my household we haven't focused on the presents for years. Call it the recession that disabled all of our pockets or maybe we realized something?! I think the kids are starting to see some different point of view of not being bitter without the expensive gifts. We haven't had a Christmas tree in years, we haven't put up lights up in a while. While the house isn't as bright as the other houses, it doesn't make my house less happy or less bright. We have that light in our hearts and that's more than some people can express.
We have a family unity and even though we're not always there with each other every holiday, we're all there there.
Don't get me wrong, I would never put down people who have the lights up. In fact, one day, if life permits that joyful feeling of having it all will come back into the home but until it does, our love is what holds it together. I don't really care if there is presents seeing as Christmas is about something more but adding to the spirit just helps create a bigger atmosphere.
The reds, the greens, the wreaths, the tree... the colors... the little nativity scene, I hope to one day have.
Christmas is about the beginnings and the birth of the light in our hearts. That's one of the meanings it has. To let go of the fears, the pain and suffering and let today be the first day of the warm happiness to fill your hearts and brighten the rest of your year.
This year has certainly been an interesting one and I am thankful. I am very happy how it's ending and still bringing more joy. I can't express the happiness I have within but I know this is special and I don't want it to leave.
I do thank God and haha you post the sweetest things.
We have a family unity and even though we're not always there with each other every holiday, we're all there there.
Don't get me wrong, I would never put down people who have the lights up. In fact, one day, if life permits that joyful feeling of having it all will come back into the home but until it does, our love is what holds it together. I don't really care if there is presents seeing as Christmas is about something more but adding to the spirit just helps create a bigger atmosphere.
The reds, the greens, the wreaths, the tree... the colors... the little nativity scene, I hope to one day have.
Christmas is about the beginnings and the birth of the light in our hearts. That's one of the meanings it has. To let go of the fears, the pain and suffering and let today be the first day of the warm happiness to fill your hearts and brighten the rest of your year.
This year has certainly been an interesting one and I am thankful. I am very happy how it's ending and still bringing more joy. I can't express the happiness I have within but I know this is special and I don't want it to leave.
I do thank God and haha you post the sweetest things.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Why we fail...
I am always one to read relationship articles and how to make something work, what to do to change attitudes... You know the basics... I'm no expert in relationships in fact I've been in less than most people well not most people people there are some who have been in none. I guess what I have learned is to know what you don't like... Having a list of requirements of needs of a person will not always work but it sure helps to pin point but they're not quite deal breakers.
If you know what you don't like in people from the get go, then you definitely can pinpoint deal breakers. Those will be thing that will fire up an argument. It's not something you find out from one day but as you notice manerisms of the person and how they are. I guess that's why we go through a "get to know you" phase so that you learn part of who they are and what characteristcs are tolerable and which aren't.
See, I've always loved psychology and human behavior but I hate reading so many facts... I bore myself to sleep. Instead, I do study people. I guess it happened when I was so quiet and couldn't get myself to talk to anybody so I could notice actions and reactions of people. It's kind of fun to watch people. Yes, I would notice couples and you definitely tell by their postioning in their bodies and actions and reactions how they feel about each other. I guess in that sense I was fortunate that I was never noticed or I would be considered a creeper; I just used my peripheral vision. I'm no creeper. I guess this is where people who feel or are experts, are experts by studying and seeing behavior but not experts because they're experience it. Well some must experience it - I HOPE!!! - When you experience something, you're blinded and it's not so easy to think or judge for yourself. You're just happy with what's going on, you're hopeful and have faith something will spark so the little details of positioning and other small details aren't noticeable. (most of the time)
I guess the issue we all come to puzzle ourselves with is "The One" Sure there are people who we're more compatible or have a stronger connection. Lucky for us we're able to build a stronger connection with people now finding more compatibility over the net and not letting the physical aspect (pressure) blind you but it will also be a factor added when you actually meet in person. Attractions, pheromones will all be components to know if the person who you have fallen for is actually one you can still handle being with. Sometimes, you can meet the person and they may not be it at all. But, let's be positive and think that it all goes well *crosses fingers* then you just continue building. Love, is a wonderful feeling, and probably the best in the world.
So, I was reading that we all focus on the whole concept of "the one" and we forget about how you fell in love... some people seek and seek and they never find anything because they don't know what they're looking for. They go through relationships unhappily changing to another and another... It doesn't work that way and a person will never find happiness...So the best Key to making a relationship/ marriage a very successful in your personal life "...IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND." I guess with that comes a choice and a decision of love and life and of the daily value. Nothing in life will ever be easy and if you don't know how to work through the hard times, you will never learn to appreciate the good in life. It's always better to focus on the happy moments and not on the transitional points that are just roads to take you where you need/will to go.
At the end of it all, it's not about just concerning with what can and might be but letting yourself enjoy the moments and choosing to enjoy the moments not just giving up when it gets tough. It's a lot easier to quit than stick it through. But, when will quitting be enough to add joy to life.
If you know what you don't like in people from the get go, then you definitely can pinpoint deal breakers. Those will be thing that will fire up an argument. It's not something you find out from one day but as you notice manerisms of the person and how they are. I guess that's why we go through a "get to know you" phase so that you learn part of who they are and what characteristcs are tolerable and which aren't.
See, I've always loved psychology and human behavior but I hate reading so many facts... I bore myself to sleep. Instead, I do study people. I guess it happened when I was so quiet and couldn't get myself to talk to anybody so I could notice actions and reactions of people. It's kind of fun to watch people. Yes, I would notice couples and you definitely tell by their postioning in their bodies and actions and reactions how they feel about each other. I guess in that sense I was fortunate that I was never noticed or I would be considered a creeper; I just used my peripheral vision. I'm no creeper. I guess this is where people who feel or are experts, are experts by studying and seeing behavior but not experts because they're experience it. Well some must experience it - I HOPE!!! - When you experience something, you're blinded and it's not so easy to think or judge for yourself. You're just happy with what's going on, you're hopeful and have faith something will spark so the little details of positioning and other small details aren't noticeable. (most of the time)
I guess the issue we all come to puzzle ourselves with is "The One" Sure there are people who we're more compatible or have a stronger connection. Lucky for us we're able to build a stronger connection with people now finding more compatibility over the net and not letting the physical aspect (pressure) blind you but it will also be a factor added when you actually meet in person. Attractions, pheromones will all be components to know if the person who you have fallen for is actually one you can still handle being with. Sometimes, you can meet the person and they may not be it at all. But, let's be positive and think that it all goes well *crosses fingers* then you just continue building. Love, is a wonderful feeling, and probably the best in the world.
So, I was reading that we all focus on the whole concept of "the one" and we forget about how you fell in love... some people seek and seek and they never find anything because they don't know what they're looking for. They go through relationships unhappily changing to another and another... It doesn't work that way and a person will never find happiness...So the best Key to making a relationship/ marriage a very successful in your personal life "...IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND." I guess with that comes a choice and a decision of love and life and of the daily value. Nothing in life will ever be easy and if you don't know how to work through the hard times, you will never learn to appreciate the good in life. It's always better to focus on the happy moments and not on the transitional points that are just roads to take you where you need/will to go.
At the end of it all, it's not about just concerning with what can and might be but letting yourself enjoy the moments and choosing to enjoy the moments not just giving up when it gets tough. It's a lot easier to quit than stick it through. But, when will quitting be enough to add joy to life.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
terrible death
I had a terrible, terrible dream on Wednesday night or we can say Thursday morning. I know I have put it away for awhile and by now I can't remember that many details but it was very impacting to me. Every time (on Thursday) that I thought about the dream I would just start crying. It just help me appreciate the little things we have in life I guess.
It was mainly us (and by that I mean my sister and brothers). We were all walking down a street together on the side walk. I don't remember destination but we were walking at a pretty fast pace when all of a sudden ( which we were at first on the left hand side looking to the right and it switches from us being on the right hand side of looking )left on the street we saw a black old styled car pull a bitch and start shooting at this other car. We don't know what to do so we go behind some building which end up being old style houses ( they turned from looking like small like family own grocery stores to ghetto old made out of wood, faded paint houses. We were walking on a dirt road back there too. So we start moving forward and then a car pulls in. I don't know what we were afraid of but we didn't want any of the cars to see us. So we would move again behind the first house. Then we would try again... and every time we tried moving a new car would come and disturb out trying to get through and we didn't want it to be known we were trying to cross. So A car moved to the back where we were and I freak hoping that I would be an example and my sibs would follow me, I find in a huge bush but instead they ran and cut across a small field and made it. Once I see them just about to get out of the small field I get out of my hiding place and was hoping to go back after them... but when I get out I see these 3 tall black guys, 2 had dreads, and all 3 had gun and were shooting towards my sibs... They saw me crawl out of my hiding place and looked my way... they pointed their guns at me while running and I just lifted my 2 hands as in I didn't know anything, surrender, what ever you may call it and they just kept going.
I went to my house which ended up being where I was technically already or I ended up there somehow. But it was once of those older houses... with the step to get up to the house and the back entrance is actually the kitchen. It was sort of a yellow orange faded (dandelion color) paint falling kind of a house. And I kept pacing in the kitchen now knowing what happen. The I remember I had a car... So I go to the garage and remembered my dad had my car and for some reason the black one wasn't there but my mom had it... I started to panic... I really wanted to leave and find my sibs wherever they may be. And that when I heard in the radio some terrible. They spoke of 2 boys and a girl and the fatality of 2 and the small insanity of the other witnessing it all. They mentioned how she was in the same shopping vicinity of her work when they got ahold of them. I believe they just killed the boy which was my bro (the one expecting), and my sister was the one that received the damage... (I don't know but when it was on the radio i was just *in the dream* picturing everything that they were speaking of) they said how they caught her and her viciously cruel to her and her little body. In my dream they had taken away her purity, they had raped her... and torn out her uterus, and taken her lil body apart. So she was literally in pieces...
My other brother I believe was talking to the people in the news or the police I dont' know how I was there but I guess I was (a see it all kind of a dream) but just get rambling and talking fast and not knowing whay happened.... he has just gone like crazy.
That's when I truck showed up in the drive way there was like 4 mexican dudes in the truck and one was my dad... they were all laughing and joking and they got off... but that was it...
All of a sudden I was there in the house.. I think the rest of the people were there but all I was doing was pacing... and trying to figure things out. In my dream I wouldn't cry, I was too hurt by the pain suffered and anger and a lot of hate. i was trying to figure out a plan of revenge to those that did that to my sister. My brother kept saying he would help me but I didn't want him to, I felt that he would be too careless and crazy with what he had witness... and that's where it ended with me pacing and fixating on a plan.... *end of dream*
When I woke up I was unsure of what had happened and whether it was real or a dream... I have had those very few moments when dreams state feels so weird I get confused or real state seems like a dream. I couldn't bare it if it would have been true. So my brain automatically was crying as if in mourning. I just felt heart broken to have lost some who I cared about. I was relieved I took my bros to school so I knew they were ok bc I personally left them. But I didn't know anything about my sis so I send her a text and mind you she and I have a weird relationship bc she isn't too open with me or doesn't allow me to get too close to her... I don't know why I feel this way but I always have since we were little so we never give hugs or say I love yous nothing really touchy feely, she doesn't like it or she just doesn't allow me to idk so I told her ... "Hey good morning! Just wanted to say I love you and take care k!"
So she responds "Am I going to die!", "?", " :'( " "JK love you too" "Have a good day"
When I see her first comment I couldn't help but to think of the dream and I started crying but I didn't have the heart to tell her what I dreamed about or my reason. I just needed to know she was there and ok.
So my response ended up being "Don't be silly! :( and thanks!" It was weird to me that her first question was of death and all I did was make a nice gesture and comment. That's why I wanted to see my sibs the other day. Sometimes cruel dreams make us realize how stubborn we are specially to neglect saying such beautiful words to someone you care about.
That's not to mention that the night before this dream I had another nightmare where 6 friends died also...and I was suppose to be in that plane but they took our spots bc a friend wanted me to go with her to eat.. and I only remember one person specifically...and in this dream I did cry a lot so none outside of the dream.
It was mainly us (and by that I mean my sister and brothers). We were all walking down a street together on the side walk. I don't remember destination but we were walking at a pretty fast pace when all of a sudden ( which we were at first on the left hand side looking to the right and it switches from us being on the right hand side of looking )left on the street we saw a black old styled car pull a bitch and start shooting at this other car. We don't know what to do so we go behind some building which end up being old style houses ( they turned from looking like small like family own grocery stores to ghetto old made out of wood, faded paint houses. We were walking on a dirt road back there too. So we start moving forward and then a car pulls in. I don't know what we were afraid of but we didn't want any of the cars to see us. So we would move again behind the first house. Then we would try again... and every time we tried moving a new car would come and disturb out trying to get through and we didn't want it to be known we were trying to cross. So A car moved to the back where we were and I freak hoping that I would be an example and my sibs would follow me, I find in a huge bush but instead they ran and cut across a small field and made it. Once I see them just about to get out of the small field I get out of my hiding place and was hoping to go back after them... but when I get out I see these 3 tall black guys, 2 had dreads, and all 3 had gun and were shooting towards my sibs... They saw me crawl out of my hiding place and looked my way... they pointed their guns at me while running and I just lifted my 2 hands as in I didn't know anything, surrender, what ever you may call it and they just kept going.
I went to my house which ended up being where I was technically already or I ended up there somehow. But it was once of those older houses... with the step to get up to the house and the back entrance is actually the kitchen. It was sort of a yellow orange faded (dandelion color) paint falling kind of a house. And I kept pacing in the kitchen now knowing what happen. The I remember I had a car... So I go to the garage and remembered my dad had my car and for some reason the black one wasn't there but my mom had it... I started to panic... I really wanted to leave and find my sibs wherever they may be. And that when I heard in the radio some terrible. They spoke of 2 boys and a girl and the fatality of 2 and the small insanity of the other witnessing it all. They mentioned how she was in the same shopping vicinity of her work when they got ahold of them. I believe they just killed the boy which was my bro (the one expecting), and my sister was the one that received the damage... (I don't know but when it was on the radio i was just *in the dream* picturing everything that they were speaking of) they said how they caught her and her viciously cruel to her and her little body. In my dream they had taken away her purity, they had raped her... and torn out her uterus, and taken her lil body apart. So she was literally in pieces...
My other brother I believe was talking to the people in the news or the police I dont' know how I was there but I guess I was (a see it all kind of a dream) but just get rambling and talking fast and not knowing whay happened.... he has just gone like crazy.
That's when I truck showed up in the drive way there was like 4 mexican dudes in the truck and one was my dad... they were all laughing and joking and they got off... but that was it...
All of a sudden I was there in the house.. I think the rest of the people were there but all I was doing was pacing... and trying to figure things out. In my dream I wouldn't cry, I was too hurt by the pain suffered and anger and a lot of hate. i was trying to figure out a plan of revenge to those that did that to my sister. My brother kept saying he would help me but I didn't want him to, I felt that he would be too careless and crazy with what he had witness... and that's where it ended with me pacing and fixating on a plan.... *end of dream*
When I woke up I was unsure of what had happened and whether it was real or a dream... I have had those very few moments when dreams state feels so weird I get confused or real state seems like a dream. I couldn't bare it if it would have been true. So my brain automatically was crying as if in mourning. I just felt heart broken to have lost some who I cared about. I was relieved I took my bros to school so I knew they were ok bc I personally left them. But I didn't know anything about my sis so I send her a text and mind you she and I have a weird relationship bc she isn't too open with me or doesn't allow me to get too close to her... I don't know why I feel this way but I always have since we were little so we never give hugs or say I love yous nothing really touchy feely, she doesn't like it or she just doesn't allow me to idk so I told her ... "Hey good morning! Just wanted to say I love you and take care k!"
So she responds "Am I going to die!", "?", " :'( " "JK love you too" "Have a good day"
When I see her first comment I couldn't help but to think of the dream and I started crying but I didn't have the heart to tell her what I dreamed about or my reason. I just needed to know she was there and ok.
So my response ended up being "Don't be silly! :( and thanks!" It was weird to me that her first question was of death and all I did was make a nice gesture and comment. That's why I wanted to see my sibs the other day. Sometimes cruel dreams make us realize how stubborn we are specially to neglect saying such beautiful words to someone you care about.
That's not to mention that the night before this dream I had another nightmare where 6 friends died also...and I was suppose to be in that plane but they took our spots bc a friend wanted me to go with her to eat.. and I only remember one person specifically...and in this dream I did cry a lot so none outside of the dream.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Hand Writing Challenge
Late entry ...
I guess I'm a little slow when it comes to challenges so here is my hand written note... I hate my writing... it never comes out how I want it to but I guess it's mine regardless...
@BFB1131
I guess I'm a little slow when it comes to challenges so here is my hand written note... I hate my writing... it never comes out how I want it to but I guess it's mine regardless...
@BFB1131
Friday, December 16, 2011
NO need to write
Suddenly and lately I have no reason to write.... well I have million reason to write and express what I feel.
But....
The thing is that usually what I would write, instead of writing what I am thinking and what I am feeling, I can express all those emotions and feelings towards actual people or a person. I don't have anything to say because every moment we spend together is just expression of everything I would be writing. Every moment since, November 2nd my life has taken a small and obvious change... A day that started and continued to be a memorable for one of the worse days ended up being counter acted into the complete opposite and a pivot in my life.
I start thinking of the stupid "What ifs" ... What if I never would have written I was bored on xanga and someone chat with me... what if no one would have canceled on me on that day... what if the xanga chat would have gone down earlier... "what if" this... "what if" that... the truth is that if all those "what ifs" would have happen the opposite than they did, my life would be the same as it was, not as it is now. I would still have the same mentality "same sh*t different day." In reality I would be ok. Why? Because in my mind I was already ok. I was already focused on something in me and that was making my own little change and of course still continue to keep the population at a distance and disregard people who cared. I didn't need pressure to care for people who didn't care for me. I would still be the pessimistic -my cup is half empty- and you know what .. *my cup is half empty* still not because I don't see the good out there but because I want to fill the rest of it. I want it to be full and continue being full of happiness.
My life would be the same....
Something changed that day. I wasn't quite sure what it was but I suddenly had found another friend. A friend I wanted to see more and who I was excited to talk to. Since I decided to be better and disregard the negativity that can bring us down in life. I learned that if I wanted to be happy, I wasn't going to depend on others. I don't think I need someone to be happy, but someone can make me happy regardless. I had started making my own personal realizations with my human nature to fail constantly but for once I wasn't falling all the way down. My guard wasn't down, and I learned more about people... their personalities and actions. I paid enough attention to guys to know....I can't always pin point what it is but I'll know when you're genuine.
My life is the same but I have an added seasoning to my daily dosage of life. It's sprinkled on my every morning to start off the day and it always topped off at night when I'm going to bed. I have to admit a little extra flavor sure makes for the entree that much better. But, this only happens when you've had the new taste. Before, you had tasted, you would be happy with the way things were. And that's how it happened. I like this taste and I like it a lot. I don't want it to go anywhere. It's something unlike I've ever had. And I will try to do everything for it to stay.
I know everything is too soon and everything seems so perfect and it's the way it should be. There is a reason why you compliment a person in their lives rather than are sourness and negativity. Trust and communication will always be the two biggest qualities. I think there is both. I know I've mistaken happiness before but those were only continued with my tantrums... childlike need to cry and kick to get what they want. But, they weren't an expression to really get what I wanted, it was more because I couldn't have it and my tears on sadness and loss of control would consume me. I don't have that anymore. I don't feel mad, sad, angry, upset... I don't feel like there is something I want my way because everything is as it should be.
The funny thing is that with people I've met and known and dated... from the first couple of days of knowing them... I'll know what we'll be arguing over. I always try and make sure a person knows who and why and how I am. I'm not one to be into surprises (I like them[surprises] but ... it's a control issue) but I don't like surprising either - I have a hard time with that. I'm pretty predictable with a few twists here and there(I'd say) but or I can differ but I am easy to read, easy too satisfy- to be happy, so I let them know. This is how I am... I've given people the opportunity to still get to know me (knowing in the back of my mind they will not accept) it's not fun seeing yourself having to change to accommodate others (and you shouldn't have to) but sometimes you're hopeful and try but only to still be turned down or not accepted. Yet, Even though you already knew the outcome you still wanted to give it a go.
For the first time, I don't know what an argument can really arise from right now. I feel accepted and wanted. You can say everything is to early to know but it's not. You either know, confused, or don't know... There are certainties that cannot be denied. The beginning of a fun adventure, I see. And let's see how we can handle the challenges that are ahead. Nothing is ever easy but it can be if we want them to.
But....
The thing is that usually what I would write, instead of writing what I am thinking and what I am feeling, I can express all those emotions and feelings towards actual people or a person. I don't have anything to say because every moment we spend together is just expression of everything I would be writing. Every moment since, November 2nd my life has taken a small and obvious change... A day that started and continued to be a memorable for one of the worse days ended up being counter acted into the complete opposite and a pivot in my life.
I start thinking of the stupid "What ifs" ... What if I never would have written I was bored on xanga and someone chat with me... what if no one would have canceled on me on that day... what if the xanga chat would have gone down earlier... "what if" this... "what if" that... the truth is that if all those "what ifs" would have happen the opposite than they did, my life would be the same as it was, not as it is now. I would still have the same mentality "same sh*t different day." In reality I would be ok. Why? Because in my mind I was already ok. I was already focused on something in me and that was making my own little change and of course still continue to keep the population at a distance and disregard people who cared. I didn't need pressure to care for people who didn't care for me. I would still be the pessimistic -my cup is half empty- and you know what .. *my cup is half empty* still not because I don't see the good out there but because I want to fill the rest of it. I want it to be full and continue being full of happiness.
My life would be the same....
Something changed that day. I wasn't quite sure what it was but I suddenly had found another friend. A friend I wanted to see more and who I was excited to talk to. Since I decided to be better and disregard the negativity that can bring us down in life. I learned that if I wanted to be happy, I wasn't going to depend on others. I don't think I need someone to be happy, but someone can make me happy regardless. I had started making my own personal realizations with my human nature to fail constantly but for once I wasn't falling all the way down. My guard wasn't down, and I learned more about people... their personalities and actions. I paid enough attention to guys to know....I can't always pin point what it is but I'll know when you're genuine.
My life is the same but I have an added seasoning to my daily dosage of life. It's sprinkled on my every morning to start off the day and it always topped off at night when I'm going to bed. I have to admit a little extra flavor sure makes for the entree that much better. But, this only happens when you've had the new taste. Before, you had tasted, you would be happy with the way things were. And that's how it happened. I like this taste and I like it a lot. I don't want it to go anywhere. It's something unlike I've ever had. And I will try to do everything for it to stay.
I know everything is too soon and everything seems so perfect and it's the way it should be. There is a reason why you compliment a person in their lives rather than are sourness and negativity. Trust and communication will always be the two biggest qualities. I think there is both. I know I've mistaken happiness before but those were only continued with my tantrums... childlike need to cry and kick to get what they want. But, they weren't an expression to really get what I wanted, it was more because I couldn't have it and my tears on sadness and loss of control would consume me. I don't have that anymore. I don't feel mad, sad, angry, upset... I don't feel like there is something I want my way because everything is as it should be.
The funny thing is that with people I've met and known and dated... from the first couple of days of knowing them... I'll know what we'll be arguing over. I always try and make sure a person knows who and why and how I am. I'm not one to be into surprises (I like them[surprises] but ... it's a control issue) but I don't like surprising either - I have a hard time with that. I'm pretty predictable with a few twists here and there(I'd say) but or I can differ but I am easy to read, easy too satisfy- to be happy, so I let them know. This is how I am... I've given people the opportunity to still get to know me (knowing in the back of my mind they will not accept) it's not fun seeing yourself having to change to accommodate others (and you shouldn't have to) but sometimes you're hopeful and try but only to still be turned down or not accepted. Yet, Even though you already knew the outcome you still wanted to give it a go.
For the first time, I don't know what an argument can really arise from right now. I feel accepted and wanted. You can say everything is to early to know but it's not. You either know, confused, or don't know... There are certainties that cannot be denied. The beginning of a fun adventure, I see. And let's see how we can handle the challenges that are ahead. Nothing is ever easy but it can be if we want them to.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
just blindly wrote...
I've finally realized why some people like to write about their personal lives and others don't. Some care whether you do and other's don't. But, when you really think about it, it's more about a factor that what you write can affect a person in a positive or negative way depending on life circumstances. What can be happy for you, can be devastating for another... which happens to be many cases and why most people don't like to involve their blogging with their personal lives. Sure, you have friends who are accepting but how many will accept knowing every little thing... well if they're your real friends then they will[accept] but how many of us have true shallow friends??
We know that IRL people love to judge and compare... actually, if we notice people do that here. If you're skinny, or fat, or talk to much, or don't talk much (which you don't get noticed), or flirt, or blah blah blah etc... human nature. I guess we're not perfect (that's for damn sure) but what happens when people with his superior complex come into your life... well not really your life but internet life in which you thought you didn't have to worry about jerks like you did in real life. originally you would drop off and go somewhere off, you run away. It's easier than dealing with shit. I know I've done but when you meet great people you suddenly feel a connection you just don't pick up and leave... you can, but it's not that simple anymore.
I guess the easiest part of here is the lack of a physical or life appearance yet many have had it and it's wonderful but while some have that to go by other's go by the picture, voice, writing style and the perceived image they have on a person.
A problem I've had in the past is that I don't get emotionally attached. I try and not connect as much. It's what I've done in life (not that it's lead to loneliness but); it's lead to less deception or lack of control. You have control over the little that is involved in your life. The thing that happens is when you actually create a connection and there is more to lose. there is a strong bond you can't avoid and like the light you see when you're dying, it just seems like the right thing to do is to follow. I rarely do... I am bad with remembering (some stuff) not convenience, it just happens but I dislike going past a certain moment in life.
Maybe it's never been easy, maybe i've complicated it enough as a youngster but maybe I didn't have control. Not that I do now but I can pick and chose when I'm strong enough. Even though, there are times when you fall and you fall exactly when you dreamed yet never thought it would be. You want to hold back but it's so much easier to let go, you're scared but you want it. You know that the pain might be worth the risk and you fall head first. You choose day by day as the fall seems more perfect...
You hope that thee floor never comes because the fall is just as perfect and weighless as you've always imagined. Dreams become a reality and sometimes, hitting the floor isn't too bad but it's only by the choices you make on daily basis that will lighten the fall and break you to pieces. We are taught to look out and fend for yourselves... Look out for #1... You are your number 1! but, isn't it better to give than receive? Doesn't it feel better to put others before you? to know that you've been there and helped and made a person smile, made their day, helped them out in their moments of need? I don't know about you but sadly and gladly I've never been my number one not in my life. I've lived a life of serving (in a sense) and helping to their own needs ... sure sometimes it was a beer run (college) but I had the car and they didn't...
Sorry about the tangents and rambling... It's just that seeing my family, knowing who we can rely on and trust, trusting them that I have a boyfriend and not hiding because I feel I will get judged feels so damn nice. I've only ever mentioned that I've dated one person... in my life to my family. It's not that I don't trust them but they're quick to ask questions. I can't answer to their needs but this time everything is perfect. It's easy and I am not hiding a thing. My son knows which is the hardest and he understand and is happy. I can never speak for the day of tomorrow but I know that what ever happens I'm happy that it's happened the way it did.
I do worry about tomorrow sometimes but it's ok... I worry about some pains that I get but I just hope for the best and oh well, right. I live with the moments in life and let myself be led by the wind. I guess I've never been happier and it's the way life should be. When you share a smile with someone... it's not about getting one back but maybe helping their day get a little bit better.
I'm just so surprised how life can change in a spur of a moment, how a person can come and mean so you and you to them. It's a strange feeling not because it's strange but because finally everything feels alright. Like you want to tell but you want to keep it as your own little secret.
When I was pregnant there was tears of desperation and concern, tears of judgement and tears of the unknown.... when he was born there was tears of pain, tears of happiness and love. Now, I still have some tears but they don't consist of pain or unhappiness but still continuous joy and excitement. I'm more than happy... I can't explain but he knows and that's all that matters to me.
Anyways, I just needed to blindly write... sorry i didn't re-read for mistakes and whatnot but I just needed to write and just write...
We know that IRL people love to judge and compare... actually, if we notice people do that here. If you're skinny, or fat, or talk to much, or don't talk much (which you don't get noticed), or flirt, or blah blah blah etc... human nature. I guess we're not perfect (that's for damn sure) but what happens when people with his superior complex come into your life... well not really your life but internet life in which you thought you didn't have to worry about jerks like you did in real life. originally you would drop off and go somewhere off, you run away. It's easier than dealing with shit. I know I've done but when you meet great people you suddenly feel a connection you just don't pick up and leave... you can, but it's not that simple anymore.
I guess the easiest part of here is the lack of a physical or life appearance yet many have had it and it's wonderful but while some have that to go by other's go by the picture, voice, writing style and the perceived image they have on a person.
A problem I've had in the past is that I don't get emotionally attached. I try and not connect as much. It's what I've done in life (not that it's lead to loneliness but); it's lead to less deception or lack of control. You have control over the little that is involved in your life. The thing that happens is when you actually create a connection and there is more to lose. there is a strong bond you can't avoid and like the light you see when you're dying, it just seems like the right thing to do is to follow. I rarely do... I am bad with remembering (some stuff) not convenience, it just happens but I dislike going past a certain moment in life.
Maybe it's never been easy, maybe i've complicated it enough as a youngster but maybe I didn't have control. Not that I do now but I can pick and chose when I'm strong enough. Even though, there are times when you fall and you fall exactly when you dreamed yet never thought it would be. You want to hold back but it's so much easier to let go, you're scared but you want it. You know that the pain might be worth the risk and you fall head first. You choose day by day as the fall seems more perfect...
You hope that thee floor never comes because the fall is just as perfect and weighless as you've always imagined. Dreams become a reality and sometimes, hitting the floor isn't too bad but it's only by the choices you make on daily basis that will lighten the fall and break you to pieces. We are taught to look out and fend for yourselves... Look out for #1... You are your number 1! but, isn't it better to give than receive? Doesn't it feel better to put others before you? to know that you've been there and helped and made a person smile, made their day, helped them out in their moments of need? I don't know about you but sadly and gladly I've never been my number one not in my life. I've lived a life of serving (in a sense) and helping to their own needs ... sure sometimes it was a beer run (college) but I had the car and they didn't...
Sorry about the tangents and rambling... It's just that seeing my family, knowing who we can rely on and trust, trusting them that I have a boyfriend and not hiding because I feel I will get judged feels so damn nice. I've only ever mentioned that I've dated one person... in my life to my family. It's not that I don't trust them but they're quick to ask questions. I can't answer to their needs but this time everything is perfect. It's easy and I am not hiding a thing. My son knows which is the hardest and he understand and is happy. I can never speak for the day of tomorrow but I know that what ever happens I'm happy that it's happened the way it did.
I do worry about tomorrow sometimes but it's ok... I worry about some pains that I get but I just hope for the best and oh well, right. I live with the moments in life and let myself be led by the wind. I guess I've never been happier and it's the way life should be. When you share a smile with someone... it's not about getting one back but maybe helping their day get a little bit better.
I'm just so surprised how life can change in a spur of a moment, how a person can come and mean so you and you to them. It's a strange feeling not because it's strange but because finally everything feels alright. Like you want to tell but you want to keep it as your own little secret.
When I was pregnant there was tears of desperation and concern, tears of judgement and tears of the unknown.... when he was born there was tears of pain, tears of happiness and love. Now, I still have some tears but they don't consist of pain or unhappiness but still continuous joy and excitement. I'm more than happy... I can't explain but he knows and that's all that matters to me.
Anyways, I just needed to blindly write... sorry i didn't re-read for mistakes and whatnot but I just needed to write and just write...
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Santa Claus
o, when I'm home I go pick up Danny from the bus stop...
I started asking him how school was and he always says it's, "fine" ... everytime I ask him what he ate... he says, "I don't remember" but today he said that at first and then he started talking about eating something that was "uncooked fish" and that it was "Gross" ... I don't know what it could be but he thought it was "nasty"
then he tells me that Santa Claus went to his school...
in a fire truck he says....
Then he says that he gave them pencils... and I told him and "how cool" ... and he says, "That's it... he gave us pencils... I don't want pencils. I want presents!!"
I couldn't help but laugh...
"That's it" Santa Claus gave them pencils... lol
I started asking him how school was and he always says it's, "fine" ... everytime I ask him what he ate... he says, "I don't remember" but today he said that at first and then he started talking about eating something that was "uncooked fish" and that it was "Gross" ... I don't know what it could be but he thought it was "nasty"
then he tells me that Santa Claus went to his school...
in a fire truck he says....
Then he says that he gave them pencils... and I told him and "how cool" ... and he says, "That's it... he gave us pencils... I don't want pencils. I want presents!!"
I couldn't help but laugh...
"That's it" Santa Claus gave them pencils... lol
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Don't let me fall
I guess we all know I can be clumsy... a ditz at times ...
I'll trust you... "Don't let me fall"
=D
I'll trust you... "Don't let me fall"
=D
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Swept off feet, or just plain clumsy
I never quite knew the term "sweeping off your feet" was real... I thought it was some bullshit the movie industry invented to sell movies...
Maybe it's just meant for clumsy girls who keep falling, for naturally we were swept off our feet.
Wait, if you're in the industry, is it to sell movies or for clumsy girls?
Not many people are searching for it when it happens and much less when you've only led a life time of disappointments, a life devoted for this little person in your life. You never thought it's possible someone can actually want you and everything you can burden them with.
It's something we all long for yet many don't understand how to obtain it. Too scared to be put on the line but a few have the courage to risk it and see what happens. Others give up before they even gave it chance.
I tend to be a person who can be HAPPY with a simple "Hello" ... a simple "hello" that is dispersed by days at a time if that's how you started... I don't care if you tell me "hello" every few days as long as it's every few days... I like consistency. I'm absent minded but I get clocked worked into routine so easily. I don't care if you have a life, I don't care if you spend your time with friends, work, get overtime worked or work 24 hours straight. I'm busy too but a sec I do love to talk, text and chat and most important I love seeing you... well if you want.
Skype date anyone?
I learn to adapt. I've done it with my life with everybody in it. I am just a tool (at times, yes I admit it because it's true) to ease the life of others, it's what I became when I gave up free will. But, my intention was never to just be that, it's to spread my wings and fly. To be honest: I've never felt so alive as I do now. I've met many great people who have impacted my life but I can't believe this is happening, I've met a person who is unlike anyone. Hopeless romantic, corny, loves taking pictures, spending time, talking... you name it and it's there. I haven't felt so lucky that someone is not embarrassed to talk about me. See, I'm a pretty happy person or you're calling my bluff? ok I get distracted with shiny things, lol...jk I just learned to cope, it's hard. But, Suddenly I feel great in places that I hadn't had much of a connection with for a while...
I just tear up of happiness because I can't control or express how I feel, I'm just overwhelmed with happiness. It's not normal and I feel weird. Not because I'm not a crybaby... I'm emotional roller coaster... I mean *cough* I got something in my eye!!
It just suddenly feels too good to be true.
As youngin' we were thought: "If something seems to good to be true, it probably is." I can't tell now but this is more than I've ever had so if it all went away I could say I had this all for the first time in my life.
I will say that the moment he held my hand it never felt nicer, I don't think that had happened in like 9-10 yrs. You don't understand this never happens. My life is being stuck with: errands, my son, my home and the lil work I get. Meeting a person, nearly impossible... I think amongst my friends I was deemed " Forever Alone" not that they have ever said but I'm the friend that only shows up alone surrounded by couples ... haha yea I'm that friend.
Anyways, I'm the luckiest girl. I've been found and dusted off... who knew something like this happens except to those who is happens to. Life is great and I'm happy.
I "be trippin'" but only because you swept me off my feet and well I guess a natural born clumsy girl around you! haha
Maybe it's just meant for clumsy girls who keep falling, for naturally we were swept off our feet.
Wait, if you're in the industry, is it to sell movies or for clumsy girls?
Not many people are searching for it when it happens and much less when you've only led a life time of disappointments, a life devoted for this little person in your life. You never thought it's possible someone can actually want you and everything you can burden them with.
It's something we all long for yet many don't understand how to obtain it. Too scared to be put on the line but a few have the courage to risk it and see what happens. Others give up before they even gave it chance.
I tend to be a person who can be HAPPY with a simple "Hello" ... a simple "hello" that is dispersed by days at a time if that's how you started... I don't care if you tell me "hello" every few days as long as it's every few days... I like consistency. I'm absent minded but I get clocked worked into routine so easily. I don't care if you have a life, I don't care if you spend your time with friends, work, get overtime worked or work 24 hours straight. I'm busy too but a sec I do love to talk, text and chat and most important I love seeing you... well if you want.
Skype date anyone?
I learn to adapt. I've done it with my life with everybody in it. I am just a tool (at times, yes I admit it because it's true) to ease the life of others, it's what I became when I gave up free will. But, my intention was never to just be that, it's to spread my wings and fly. To be honest: I've never felt so alive as I do now. I've met many great people who have impacted my life but I can't believe this is happening, I've met a person who is unlike anyone. Hopeless romantic, corny, loves taking pictures, spending time, talking... you name it and it's there. I haven't felt so lucky that someone is not embarrassed to talk about me. See, I'm a pretty happy person or you're calling my bluff? ok I get distracted with shiny things, lol...jk I just learned to cope, it's hard. But, Suddenly I feel great in places that I hadn't had much of a connection with for a while...
I just tear up of happiness because I can't control or express how I feel, I'm just overwhelmed with happiness. It's not normal and I feel weird. Not because I'm not a crybaby... I'm emotional roller coaster... I mean *cough* I got something in my eye!!
It just suddenly feels too good to be true.
As youngin' we were thought: "If something seems to good to be true, it probably is." I can't tell now but this is more than I've ever had so if it all went away I could say I had this all for the first time in my life.
I will say that the moment he held my hand it never felt nicer, I don't think that had happened in like 9-10 yrs. You don't understand this never happens. My life is being stuck with: errands, my son, my home and the lil work I get. Meeting a person, nearly impossible... I think amongst my friends I was deemed " Forever Alone" not that they have ever said but I'm the friend that only shows up alone surrounded by couples ... haha yea I'm that friend.
Anyways, I'm the luckiest girl. I've been found and dusted off... who knew something like this happens except to those who is happens to. Life is great and I'm happy.
I "be trippin'" but only because you swept me off my feet and well I guess a natural born clumsy girl around you! haha
Friday, December 2, 2011
In Loving Memory of Cancer
We all lose people from our lives in different times in life. Death is always untimely but we all will lose a loved one. I've lost a few but today I want to mention my grandpa, Liborio Flores. Today, December 1, marks his 3 year death anniversary. I don't know about how you all feel about rememberance but I always feel that if we that were close to someone we lost and don't remember them then who will?
We're always caught up with our own lives you don't even get to know your neighbors any more. A sad life of loneliness and no trust within a community. Anyways, I got off track.
I could have been easily written this last month but i'm spacey and I forget things. November was no shave November which is to bring awareness to Men's health like for example Prostate Cancer. There are so many health problems issues that happen in our health that we're unaware unless we go get check (just like October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month).
We are so into our lives that we never think there is anything wrong until the moment that you end up in the ER. It's never too late to be checked and make sure your health is ok.
My grandpa had been diagnosed with Prostate Cancer probably around like the late 90's early 2000's the thing that happened unfortunately and I think we all do it as adults is that we disregard something like our health because we feel good,ok or we're not sick enough. And in my heritage you can say that stubbornness as the Male ego "Machismo" is very prominent in the Mexican males, not that it's not in all cultures. When he started not feeling well and ended up in the hospital they immediately tried to do everythign in their power. He had surgeries and was being treated. But, he had disregarded his health for quite sometime already.The Cancer was Controlled for years but at the end there was nothing to be done. It took control over his body and ulcers were being created in his organs and he was in pain. We saw him suffer and be on house arrest pretty must until the day he left this world.
I know people say there is no cure to cancer but if you go get checked out you can prevent and an early detection can go a long way. I love my grandpa and I miss him but when he passed away instead of feeling overwhelmed with pain I was relieved and happy. I had seen him suffer so much at that point I just wanted him to not feel that anymore. I heard how people talk about the radiation, chemo and their treatment... and recently saw 50/50, I know it was a movie but it helped me understand a few things I didn't know about it.
These are my grandparents...They're my dad's parents. They were married at the end for 58 years. They lived a long happy life with 11 children, many grand kids and great grand kids... They knew my son the most of their grand kids but for knowing your decedents life will always be to short no matter what.
This camera has the wrong date but this was a couple weeks before his death while he still was able to speak. He actually asked for the family to get together for his last message. This was my grandpa's final rest place in Ontario,California. He maybe could have been a longer with us but cancer has it's own agenda!
So, Go get checked. Be safe and never wait for the last minute. More than likely once you have some symptoms, you're already too late.
Do you have experience or advice that can help other's through the process of dealing with Cancer? or how to cope with a love one going through a situation with Cancer?
We're always caught up with our own lives you don't even get to know your neighbors any more. A sad life of loneliness and no trust within a community. Anyways, I got off track.
I could have been easily written this last month but i'm spacey and I forget things. November was no shave November which is to bring awareness to Men's health like for example Prostate Cancer. There are so many health problems issues that happen in our health that we're unaware unless we go get check (just like October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month).
We are so into our lives that we never think there is anything wrong until the moment that you end up in the ER. It's never too late to be checked and make sure your health is ok.
My grandpa had been diagnosed with Prostate Cancer probably around like the late 90's early 2000's the thing that happened unfortunately and I think we all do it as adults is that we disregard something like our health because we feel good,ok or we're not sick enough. And in my heritage you can say that stubbornness as the Male ego "Machismo" is very prominent in the Mexican males, not that it's not in all cultures. When he started not feeling well and ended up in the hospital they immediately tried to do everythign in their power. He had surgeries and was being treated. But, he had disregarded his health for quite sometime already.The Cancer was Controlled for years but at the end there was nothing to be done. It took control over his body and ulcers were being created in his organs and he was in pain. We saw him suffer and be on house arrest pretty must until the day he left this world.
I know people say there is no cure to cancer but if you go get checked out you can prevent and an early detection can go a long way. I love my grandpa and I miss him but when he passed away instead of feeling overwhelmed with pain I was relieved and happy. I had seen him suffer so much at that point I just wanted him to not feel that anymore. I heard how people talk about the radiation, chemo and their treatment... and recently saw 50/50, I know it was a movie but it helped me understand a few things I didn't know about it.
These are my grandparents...They're my dad's parents. They were married at the end for 58 years. They lived a long happy life with 11 children, many grand kids and great grand kids... They knew my son the most of their grand kids but for knowing your decedents life will always be to short no matter what.
This camera has the wrong date but this was a couple weeks before his death while he still was able to speak. He actually asked for the family to get together for his last message. This was my grandpa's final rest place in Ontario,California. He maybe could have been a longer with us but cancer has it's own agenda!
So, Go get checked. Be safe and never wait for the last minute. More than likely once you have some symptoms, you're already too late.
Do you have experience or advice that can help other's through the process of dealing with Cancer? or how to cope with a love one going through a situation with Cancer?
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
A poor attempt for a mom to make a son happy
This is my son's Monkey. He's had him since he was like 1 or 2 I can't remember. At build a bear... it's been so long I can't remember whether we names the monkey, "Arturo" or "Daniel" those are both my son's names idr but I also call my son "my lil monkey" since he was lil... my other lil pet name for him...
I'm the eldest cousins from my mom side well my siblings and I are all the oldest but seeing as I'm 7 yrs older than my bros it leaves big gaps for my other cousins. So we always have one of my aunt's kids over on their breaks 14yr (boy), 11yr (boy, and he bullies my son
) , and 9yr (girl, basically my son's bf)
so my lil girl cousin had a teddy bear in a dress... so my son had his monkey naked and I finally found him the sweater he had. Danny was so happy he had clothes he suddenly wanted him to be fully clothed... "Oh goodness!!"
came to my head and I thought, I would be able to distract him... but no!
if he was from Toy Story... he'd be waving .... yup he would be!!
I went to Walmart because I got him to go to mass by saying i was going to take him to the store. Once we were there he want yarn to knit the clothes... if he knew how hard it was, he wouldn't ask me to do what ever again.
He wanted blue... (of course, a boy's favorite color... ) so we found cloth... I bought a yard... didn't know it was that much but ok... I can work with it.
Cut out a piece.
I sewed the edged ... and then for a while i was stumped i didn't know where to go. this freakin' cloth looked like a skirt and I was tempted to leave it at that... but I can't. It's a boy monkey. What was i thinking... son wasn't happy about my "lame" suggestion.
So yea I cut it right in the center... why didn't I think of this earlier.. Make thing less complicated.
Now it looked like pants... sweat pants but pants none the less... i has to keep sewing. I had my little needle in one had and was stitching and stitching and every couple minutes my son would ask, "Are you done yet?" And I would stop for a second because i was still on the phone and he would give me a face "Why are you stopping?" 
"When are you going to finish" ... Kids!!1 I should have made him do it... and then he would have stopped with the whining.
Well, it was my first time making pants...
End Product!!!!!!!!!!
Yay!! I was finished. or so I thought.
Monkey happily wore his pants...
Oh but i had to make a hole for the tail "Duh, Reyna!!! *facepalm*
So now, the Monkey happily wore his pants or so I thought!
Pants were too long. I had an unhappy customer.
*sigh* *grrrrrr*
He wanted his monkey to have slippers... *sigh*
so, I cut the edges of the pants... and started sewing again...
Voila!!!! He is the monkey with sweat pants and slippers!!! yay!!!
*THE END*
A Poor attempt of to make son happy... with clothe a monkey.
Now, he wants a hat and gloves... i might as well make the blanket too...
What do you think?? haha
I'm the eldest cousins from my mom side well my siblings and I are all the oldest but seeing as I'm 7 yrs older than my bros it leaves big gaps for my other cousins. So we always have one of my aunt's kids over on their breaks 14yr (boy), 11yr (boy, and he bullies my son
) , and 9yr (girl, basically my son's bf)so my lil girl cousin had a teddy bear in a dress... so my son had his monkey naked and I finally found him the sweater he had. Danny was so happy he had clothes he suddenly wanted him to be fully clothed... "Oh goodness!!"
came to my head and I thought, I would be able to distract him... but no!if he was from Toy Story... he'd be waving .... yup he would be!!
I went to Walmart because I got him to go to mass by saying i was going to take him to the store. Once we were there he want yarn to knit the clothes... if he knew how hard it was, he wouldn't ask me to do what ever again.
He wanted blue... (of course, a boy's favorite color... ) so we found cloth... I bought a yard... didn't know it was that much but ok... I can work with it.Cut out a piece.
I sewed the edged ... and then for a while i was stumped
i didn't know where to go. this freakin' cloth looked like a skirt and I was tempted to leave it at that... but I can't. It's a boy monkey. What was i thinking... son wasn't happy about my "lame" suggestion.So yea I cut it right in the center... why didn't I think of this earlier.. Make thing less complicated.
Now it looked like pants... sweat pants but pants none the less... i has to keep sewing. I had my little needle in one had and was stitching and stitching and every couple minutes my son would ask, "Are you done yet?" And I would stop for a second because i was still on the phone and he would give me a face
"Why are you stopping?" "When are you going to finish" ... Kids!!1 I should have made him do it... and then he would have stopped with the whining.Well, it was my first time making pants...
End Product!!!!!!!!!!
Yay!! I was finished. or so I thought.Monkey happily wore his pants...
Oh but i had to make a hole for the tail "Duh, Reyna!!! *facepalm*
So now, the Monkey happily wore his pants or so I thought!
Pants were too long. I had an unhappy customer.
*sigh* *grrrrrr*He wanted his monkey to have slippers... *sigh*
so, I cut the edges of the pants... and started sewing again...
Voila!!!! He is the monkey with sweat pants and slippers!!!
yay!!!*THE END*
A Poor attempt of to make son happy... with clothe a monkey.
Now, he wants a hat and gloves... i might as well make the blanket too...
What do you think?? haha
Monday, November 21, 2011
bouquet of tears
This has been something I've been keeping to myself for the longest time... I'm always the first to burst out what I'm feeling and what not... when it first happened I freaked out... I truly did. I was scared and I didn't even want to think about it.
I give things a chance and then give up when they fail.. deep inside I'm always a hopeless romantic with traditional ideals but I'm a realist too so I knock myself down and keep myself down... I reject people because I just can't afford to go out with anybody. A single mom with less than a part time and no time... not a person any man would really want, in my opinion. Too much baggage.
I haven't been able to pour emotions even though I'm the one who just lets them out ... I've kept this the most to myself because it's been personal for the first time even more... And, it wont satisfy your craving but for me this will suffice.
I feel like I'm broken with smiles and I can't fix it, stupid I know...
Friday I received
and it came with a cute lil card...
They were beautiful but I didn't get to see them much, I was out that evening. Got home and woke up early for my uncle's funeral and time with the family. They had come from MN so we needed to spend time with them. Yesterday, in pouring rain we drove an hour and a half again to see them and say our good byes... I spent friday, saturday and sunday in SGV ... loved every moment of it. Today, the first time I'm home in 3 days...
That bouquet you see... I started unwrapping because I was going to take the lil white flowers and place those in water... it's been cold out here so my room was like a fridge... they were well kept. I started unwrapping them like they were a gift (well they were, are) or I meant like christmas morning... excited!! and they smelled divine.... My three most favorite colors... Black, Red, Pink ...
When I was unwrapping I saw that they were also 3 individual bouquets and not only that but until today I didn't know they were real flowers. I realized it when I saw the stems, I know stupid, I was/am haha but when I saw them I teared up. I guess I got a little emotional, the first time I've received flowers in my life and didn't realize it until 3 days later...
I felt, happy, ungrateful, ecstatic, unappreciative... just up and down... haha but mostly just tears of joy.
They're hanging above my mirror to start the drying process. If they weren't real I was going to put them in a vase but now it can wait until they dry up and their value goes up even more, lol.
Thank you!!
*hugs*
Thank you!
I give things a chance and then give up when they fail.. deep inside I'm always a hopeless romantic with traditional ideals but I'm a realist too so I knock myself down and keep myself down... I reject people because I just can't afford to go out with anybody. A single mom with less than a part time and no time... not a person any man would really want, in my opinion. Too much baggage.
I haven't been able to pour emotions even though I'm the one who just lets them out ... I've kept this the most to myself because it's been personal for the first time even more... And, it wont satisfy your craving but for me this will suffice.
I feel like I'm broken with smiles and I can't fix it, stupid I know...
Friday I received
and it came with a cute lil card...
They were beautiful but I didn't get to see them much, I was out that evening. Got home and woke up early for my uncle's funeral and time with the family. They had come from MN so we needed to spend time with them. Yesterday, in pouring rain we drove an hour and a half again to see them and say our good byes... I spent friday, saturday and sunday in SGV ... loved every moment of it. Today, the first time I'm home in 3 days...
That bouquet you see... I started unwrapping because I was going to take the lil white flowers and place those in water... it's been cold out here so my room was like a fridge... they were well kept. I started unwrapping them like they were a gift (well they were, are
) or I meant like christmas morning... excited!! and they smelled divine.... My three most favorite colors... Black, Red, Pink ...When I was unwrapping I saw that they were also 3 individual bouquets and not only that but until today I didn't know they were real flowers. I realized it when I saw the stems, I know stupid, I was/am haha but when I saw them I teared up. I guess I got a little emotional, the first time I've received flowers in my life and didn't realize it until 3 days later...
I felt, happy, ungrateful, ecstatic, unappreciative... just up and down... haha but mostly just tears of joy.
They're hanging above my mirror to start the drying process. If they weren't real I was going to put them in a vase but now it can wait until they dry up and their value goes up even more, lol.
Thank you!!
*hugs*
Thank you!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Once upon a time...
Once upon a time there a land far far away...
There live a a beautiful princess and a handsome prince...
Or is it a beautiful peasant girl and a prince charming
Or a lovely Princess and her true love... a peasant
BUT
They really NEVER met....
Fairy Tales don't exist...
dreaming is futile!!!
There live a a beautiful princess and a handsome prince...
Or is it a beautiful peasant girl and a prince charming
Or a lovely Princess and her true love... a peasant
BUT
They really NEVER met....
Fairy Tales don't exist...
dreaming is futile!!!
Thursday, November 10, 2011
8 stages of love -repost
The Eight Stages of Intimacy (with each stage and link)
[To achieve a successful relationship]
[ This is a long post so I am going to separate it into 8 different days or sections which talk about the individual 8 stages of how a relationship is created into intimacy (not sexual) (this wasn't written by me) and then link them all together]
[Italics is my writing -FYI]
Is your relationship everything you ever hoped for? Does it feel like something is missing or maybe it’s just note quite what you are looking for? Do your romances crash and burn before six months?The following illustrates the eight different stages of intimacy. With your life partner, achievement of at least seven of the eight leads to relationship success. With friends, coworkers and associates, you’ll match in some, but not all.
TO ACHIEVE TRUE INTIMACY, TWO IDEAS MUST BE PRESENT: SAFETY & CONNECTEDNESS
SAFETY means that as the relationship grows between two people. Should something frighten, upset or threaten you, your partner becomes the safe haven, the person you seek rather than avoid. Safety is something a person earns through trust and actions.CONNECTEDNESS or more commonly chemistry is that feeling that you are in tune with the other person; you have enough common ground to feel comfortable yet enough differences to keep things interesting. True intimacy cannot be achieved without feelings of safety and feelings of connectedness.
If you're just starting to date again, and are tired of unfulfilling relationships and short-term romances (less than six months), the eight stages will help you achieve a loving relationship by giving you a step by step guide to dating. Make a commitment to yourself to explore each stage in-depth with a potential mate before proceeding to the next. Most superficial relationships will fall apart during stages four through six, the very stages most people skip in order to experiment in seven. Then they wonder why the relationship didn't last! When you finish this article, you may be enlightened
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Physical Intimacy (Looks, etiquette, charisma) (Stage 1)
2. Aesthetic Intimacy (Arts, style, Culture, General Compatibility) (Stage 2)
3. Recreational Intimacy (Shared interests, sports & Hobbies) (Stage 3)
4. Intellectual Intimacy (Hopes, fears, opinions, beliefs) (Stage 4)
5. Spiritual Intimacy (Morality, Ethics, shares Existence, & Shared Goals) (Stage 5)
6. Emotional Intimacy (Feelings, Trust, Security, Safety) (Stage 6)
7. Sexual Intimacy (Touching, sexual liberation, Physical contact, Romance, Copulation & procreation) (Stage 7)
8. Unconditional Love (Love & Support without Strings, Expectations and Regrets) (Stage 8)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CONCLUSION
The Stages of Intimacy are a guide. Relationships like most elements within each of our lives are dynamic. At times your relationship will have all or most of the stages present. At times one or several may fall to the wayside. The best way to use the stages is as a checklist for yourself. If your relationship seems to be faltering, stagnant or unfulfilling, reviewing the stages will help you pinpoint the problem. Once you identify the problem,you have the ability to solve it. If you are dating and looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, the stages are invaluable. First, they will make you postpone sexuality until you can satisfy your curiosity about a mate through 6 stages. Secondly, they will allow you to isolate poor relationships objectively as you venture into each new stage. Most divorces and poor relationships could have been avoided through the stages. What many find out about each other over years, a savvy dater can discover within six to seven months, well before I do becomes I don't.
Through the stages, you can avoid heartache by helping yourself discover what is missing and what is causing problems. Stick with the stages and you will gain satisfaction, love and a close intimate relationship unlike anything you've ever experienced. -END-
The eight Stages of Intimacy by Laura Lewis
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
If you were an animal...
What would you be?
It's obvious, if a pink tiger existed I would be it... different, and unique
I'd get the tigers and the white tigers... . *RAWR*
It's obvious, if a pink tiger existed I would be it... different, and unique
I'd get the tigers and the white tigers... . *RAWR*
Sunday, November 6, 2011
heartbreak
A heart break is one of those feelings that just leaves like you've fallen off a cliff.... You know you're falling you just don't know how low and how hard you're going to hit. it's the sinking feeling... you can turn anywhere but you can't do anything because there is nothing to do.
You want a helping hand but no one is ever really available to talk. You feel alone. You don't think anyone understands you. We DO!!! Much more than you think. You want to talk to that person but they wont let you. They might want to but at the same time you think they hate you. One did something wrong and it's easier to point the finger at each other.
or just as easily take the blame and the heartbreak.
"It's my fault, I'm sorry"
And you wished that they would understand how you felt
but the truth was that as much as the person feels like this, they know that when something went wrong. There was probably pain, manipulating, no trust, lack of communication (one or all of them or other symptoms)- in the end what do you have?
Nothing...
nothing...
you question yourself and think... can things have gone differently....
maybe....
maybe not...
What if that one instance in time didn't happen?
What if I would have loved more?
What I tried harder?
What if maybe you wouldn't have let go like you promise?
What if...
what if...
what if...
instead ...
you grab your little broken heart and hold it tightly together. You slowly let it mend, if you could sew it together I'm sure you would but with time it will heal.
You will be ok. You're not alone.
You ARE NOT alone!!
So many of your friends have felt that pain yet we continue to try an isolate ourselves and pretend. Pretend everything over and you slowly kill yourself more inside.
Love is not one of those things to put off lightly. Love doesn't change like the wind. Love doesn't come and go. Love doesn't change the the river. Love, true love is accepting and a choice to make to love. Love yourself and love another.
Love is about fighting for that inner peace, about forgiving a person even if they harmed you. LOVE......
Love never fails... it never fails because you don't let it fail...
You do everything in your power to make it work. When you love, you love. Love for who and what they are. Learn everything and how they can change and accept it. If you can't accept a person for who they are, you will never learn true love.
There comes a point when loving means letting go. Letting a person make out what they want in life. Self discovery.
The best way I've learned about love and pain is to always accept people for who they are. Always love people no matter what. Even, if they caused you pain love them for their qualities not any bad memories. No bad memories should get the best of you.
Hold no grudges because it only takes away from the beauty of life. And it makes you bitter.
If you did the harming do your best to not be a creeper but try to find the forgiveness.
I know these are ideal. It will not always work. I'm a fortunate person when it comes people especially those who have had a positive or negative impact. My goal is to always try and understand people and why they do what they do. People do not quite understand me because I'm a little weird. I always try to be nice and friendly so I earn forgiveness not for the person for me. People are important even if I''m awkward socially but I love and respect people and that's how I like any ending/ beginning. Acceptance and to cherish everything moment that had to do with the life.
You want a helping hand but no one is ever really available to talk. You feel alone. You don't think anyone understands you. We DO!!! Much more than you think. You want to talk to that person but they wont let you. They might want to but at the same time you think they hate you. One did something wrong and it's easier to point the finger at each other.
or just as easily take the blame and the heartbreak.
"It's my fault, I'm sorry"
And you wished that they would understand how you felt
but the truth was that as much as the person feels like this, they know that when something went wrong. There was probably pain, manipulating, no trust, lack of communication (one or all of them or other symptoms)- in the end what do you have?
Nothing...
nothing...
you question yourself and think... can things have gone differently....
maybe....
maybe not...
What if that one instance in time didn't happen?
What if I would have loved more?
What I tried harder?
What if maybe you wouldn't have let go like you promise?
What if...
what if...
what if...
instead ...
you grab your little broken heart and hold it tightly together. You slowly let it mend, if you could sew it together I'm sure you would but with time it will heal.
You will be ok. You're not alone.
You ARE NOT alone!!
So many of your friends have felt that pain yet we continue to try an isolate ourselves and pretend. Pretend everything over and you slowly kill yourself more inside.
Love is not one of those things to put off lightly. Love doesn't change like the wind. Love doesn't come and go. Love doesn't change the the river. Love, true love is accepting and a choice to make to love. Love yourself and love another.
Love is about fighting for that inner peace, about forgiving a person even if they harmed you. LOVE......
Love never fails... it never fails because you don't let it fail...
You do everything in your power to make it work. When you love, you love. Love for who and what they are. Learn everything and how they can change and accept it. If you can't accept a person for who they are, you will never learn true love.
There comes a point when loving means letting go. Letting a person make out what they want in life. Self discovery.
The best way I've learned about love and pain is to always accept people for who they are. Always love people no matter what. Even, if they caused you pain love them for their qualities not any bad memories. No bad memories should get the best of you.
Hold no grudges because it only takes away from the beauty of life. And it makes you bitter.
If you did the harming do your best to not be a creeper but try to find the forgiveness.
I know these are ideal. It will not always work. I'm a fortunate person when it comes people especially those who have had a positive or negative impact. My goal is to always try and understand people and why they do what they do. People do not quite understand me because I'm a little weird. I always try to be nice and friendly so I earn forgiveness not for the person for me. People are important even if I''m awkward socially but I love and respect people and that's how I like any ending/ beginning. Acceptance and to cherish everything moment that had to do with the life.
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