I had a terrible, terrible dream on Wednesday night or we can say Thursday morning. I know I have put it away for awhile and by now I can't remember that many details but it was very impacting to me. Every time (on Thursday) that I thought about the dream I would just start crying. It just help me appreciate the little things we have in life I guess.
It was mainly us (and by that I mean my sister and brothers). We were all walking down a street together on the side walk. I don't remember destination but we were walking at a pretty fast pace when all of a sudden ( which we were at first on the left hand side looking to the right and it switches from us being on the right hand side of looking )left on the street we saw a black old styled car pull a bitch and start shooting at this other car. We don't know what to do so we go behind some building which end up being old style houses ( they turned from looking like small like family own grocery stores to ghetto old made out of wood, faded paint houses. We were walking on a dirt road back there too. So we start moving forward and then a car pulls in. I don't know what we were afraid of but we didn't want any of the cars to see us. So we would move again behind the first house. Then we would try again... and every time we tried moving a new car would come and disturb out trying to get through and we didn't want it to be known we were trying to cross. So A car moved to the back where we were and I freak hoping that I would be an example and my sibs would follow me, I find in a huge bush but instead they ran and cut across a small field and made it. Once I see them just about to get out of the small field I get out of my hiding place and was hoping to go back after them... but when I get out I see these 3 tall black guys, 2 had dreads, and all 3 had gun and were shooting towards my sibs... They saw me crawl out of my hiding place and looked my way... they pointed their guns at me while running and I just lifted my 2 hands as in I didn't know anything, surrender, what ever you may call it and they just kept going.
I went to my house which ended up being where I was technically already or I ended up there somehow. But it was once of those older houses... with the step to get up to the house and the back entrance is actually the kitchen. It was sort of a yellow orange faded (dandelion color) paint falling kind of a house. And I kept pacing in the kitchen now knowing what happen. The I remember I had a car... So I go to the garage and remembered my dad had my car and for some reason the black one wasn't there but my mom had it... I started to panic... I really wanted to leave and find my sibs wherever they may be. And that when I heard in the radio some terrible. They spoke of 2 boys and a girl and the fatality of 2 and the small insanity of the other witnessing it all. They mentioned how she was in the same shopping vicinity of her work when they got ahold of them. I believe they just killed the boy which was my bro (the one expecting), and my sister was the one that received the damage... (I don't know but when it was on the radio i was just *in the dream* picturing everything that they were speaking of) they said how they caught her and her viciously cruel to her and her little body. In my dream they had taken away her purity, they had raped her... and torn out her uterus, and taken her lil body apart. So she was literally in pieces...
My other brother I believe was talking to the people in the news or the police I dont' know how I was there but I guess I was (a see it all kind of a dream) but just get rambling and talking fast and not knowing whay happened.... he has just gone like crazy.
That's when I truck showed up in the drive way there was like 4 mexican dudes in the truck and one was my dad... they were all laughing and joking and they got off... but that was it...
All of a sudden I was there in the house.. I think the rest of the people were there but all I was doing was pacing... and trying to figure things out. In my dream I wouldn't cry, I was too hurt by the pain suffered and anger and a lot of hate. i was trying to figure out a plan of revenge to those that did that to my sister. My brother kept saying he would help me but I didn't want him to, I felt that he would be too careless and crazy with what he had witness... and that's where it ended with me pacing and fixating on a plan.... *end of dream*
When I woke up I was unsure of what had happened and whether it was real or a dream... I have had those very few moments when dreams state feels so weird I get confused or real state seems like a dream. I couldn't bare it if it would have been true. So my brain automatically was crying as if in mourning. I just felt heart broken to have lost some who I cared about. I was relieved I took my bros to school so I knew they were ok bc I personally left them. But I didn't know anything about my sis so I send her a text and mind you she and I have a weird relationship bc she isn't too open with me or doesn't allow me to get too close to her... I don't know why I feel this way but I always have since we were little so we never give hugs or say I love yous nothing really touchy feely, she doesn't like it or she just doesn't allow me to idk so I told her ... "Hey good morning! Just wanted to say I love you and take care k!"
So she responds "Am I going to die!", "?", " :'( " "JK love you too" "Have a good day"
When I see her first comment I couldn't help but to think of the dream and I started crying but I didn't have the heart to tell her what I dreamed about or my reason. I just needed to know she was there and ok.
So my response ended up being "Don't be silly! :( and thanks!" It was weird to me that her first question was of death and all I did was make a nice gesture and comment. That's why I wanted to see my sibs the other day. Sometimes cruel dreams make us realize how stubborn we are specially to neglect saying such beautiful words to someone you care about.
That's not to mention that the night before this dream I had another nightmare where 6 friends died also...and I was suppose to be in that plane but they took our spots bc a friend wanted me to go with her to eat.. and I only remember one person specifically...and in this dream I did cry a lot so none outside of the dream.
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