My son

Well today was a pretty peaceful day and by that I mean that I was away from my computer and didn't miss it one bit... which if you know anything about me... I usually take it everywhere but I took my composition notebook where I have been working on stuff and didn't have time which is great.... Anyways...

My son had a great day today... He got to meet his baby brother for the first time.

Danny and Iori
Yay! It makes me happy he got to see the new addition of his little family. He is a big brother and well frankly will have their rest of their rest to know each other.
Danny had been wanting to go see Ray his other lil brother well not so little since sometimes people have mistaken them for twins or people say the 2 kids from the same mom wouldn't have looked so similar... who knows but they love hanging out and playing always. So Danny had been wanting to see his bro and apparently he had been asking for Danny too. Danny feels Ray is his best friend and it makes me so happy even though Danny doesn't understand the whole sibling situation correctly just yet even though he's been exposed his who life to it.

Ray and Danny
I love seeing their smiles when they get to play together. =D

this is the pic of the 4 kids... (siblings) Today 6-29-2011
Danny (my son) And his half brothers and sister kids of @snoog420 And thank you darling for always being so great and supportive!! Couldn't have a better person!! We know how our life has been full of interesting struggles and here we are with beautiful kids who love each other. <3
Danny 5 yrs 6 months (left), Mila 2 yrs 4 month (top middle), Iori 2 months, Ray (left) 5 yrs 2 months


The kids with their dad on August 2009 right before he left for deployment. Mila was just a few months old... How time flies.

I just wanted to share a little of the happiness my son goes through. I know  he kind of have 2 different family but he lives a happy life. He may not understand everything yet but they love spending time together. We all sometimes have out small disagreements but we know how to talk them through. We've all grown to support and understand each other. <3


My son loves being silly and he follows a few trends, well thanks to my bro... haha! but, Danny loves silly pictures... xp


One of his childhood goals is to be stronger than Mommy!! He has no idea he already is but I will let him keep striving for the best. He thinks that I'm one of the strongest people well at least in my household. Nobody is as strong as I am which kind of makes me feels so warm inside he thinks so highly of me then again, his expectations at very adamant. Well there you have it...

I've made up my mind: Agnostic

So, I've come to a realization. Life is life no matter how good or bad you actually have it, plain and simple.  For quite some years I've been having my own personal fights about religion and whether I have been in the right path. I know currently nobody cares about religion which is fine. But, I've been thinking long and hard for quite some time and I've come to the realization that even though I've been traditionally raised as a Catholic my whole life with possibly little to almost no absences from mass on Sundays, I've come to a conclusion that I'm actuallyAgnostic, which I may have told only one person up to now. I've said it once before today and even then I was still thinking about it.  I'll just stay middle ground for right now. I have have faith in that things will change but I can't say in which direction. I can't be atheist because I still believe there might be hope for 'God' somewhere but I've lost the incline to seek it.
I will never have any disrespect towards others in the least. We're all entitled to live happy lives in what ever sense it comes to our mind. I've been following and practicing religion since I was young and sadly it has never enlightened me in anyway. Instead the pressure has made far so much more depressed. And let me clarify here... not the pressure from the actual religion (which I haven't followed completely to its teaching, it's not guilt from the sins...we all sin in a perspective)  NO one is perfect ever... we ALL lie no matter what. It's the pressure that my  mom invokes and other christian churches try to do. I'm not weak in my mind but then again that is also perspective and since I've declaring to be Agnostic you very well can be saying "weak of mind". Why? And what's the point? How can they anybody guarantee they're in the right way? They can't as much as I can't say they're wrong either I just don't want to listen, period. And being with the pressures of my mom I am not out of the situation since my parents are both catholic. I respect them dearly and wont do anything to disrespect which also means I'll  continue to go to mass on Sundays like I have always gone and lead prayer when they ask me. I've been going to Mass for years and instead of fostering interest it has declined. And I don't know if to say 'sad' but it keeps diminishing with time. Well actually, it can't diminish anymore than it is in my point of view.
This (my decision) hasn't been encouragement by anyone (just thought I'd clarify) it's been something I've been exploring myself and a decision I made for myself. You may say I didn't pray but I did, a lot. I don't know if the fact that some prayers maybe might have came true or that in itself, would have just been coincidence and not actually an answered prayer. My mom always encourages me to pray and pray (and pray and pray) and inside myself I always think, "what's the use?" Just to show a deity we believe? But, will the answers be answered? Yes, I know this is were "FAITH" comes in... or that we MUST "BELIEVE" in Him for guidance. But, I would be happier if any divine justice would help a person in agonizing torturing pain before any little stupid prayer we ask for but there many things in this world as just ugly and unfair. Hey, so we have free-will but they still have governments that take away the free-will "God" has supposedly given...
I will not tell my parents or family, I will only keep this to myself and well you guys. There is no need to hurt and well frankly I'm tired of the arguing. If conversations were in a civil manner maybe.... but screaming and hearing you're wrong, No thank you!!
Ironically enough my mom has been making me take her to more church events and stay. After we went to mass... she had my brother drive (not me, odd) and he dropped us off... I thought he was staying but he went with my bro. I was very upset. Also, tonight she's making me go to this 'healing' mass I don't know... but if I go and change my mind of what I just posted, YOU'LL KNOW!!! But, I just want them to leave me alone.
I know I can pray and nothing is going to happen... "No divine intervention" What ever happens happens and we all just accept. I don't think my life is going to change anymore... my perspectives and mind will be the same. Sorry to bore you with religion since this is a bit different and saying it makes it more too as well. I don't know. But, there it is and you're the first to know. congrats! *rolls eyes* (like if you won a big prize)

Humanity

Give me a break
It’s the only way I'll operate
Sometimes it's the best when we create
Beautiful pain, terror and a game
Only the outspoken gain the fame
Is it right? ….I'm outraged
At night's end, full craving frenzy
 Lost battle, breaking trends –see?
 The point of the matter is not what you think
The point of the matter is what we ALL believe
Don't worry, you'll catch on, there's the link
Don’t be mistaken we too can deceive

There’s trash and it’s ok if you wanna bash
It’s alright, but look into your stash, a puff from your hash
A relaxed mind, not tense
But try to make sense, this is not to bind

A mystery? No, it’s our history
Not blind, so I understand no need to be kind
But really, this world makes me hurl
And at times like a baby inside a womb, curl
Nobody knows such respect
But in turn do we have a need to expect?
Reality is a false living,
An internet light worth perceiving?

There’s love for you
But some actions turn others blue
A facet of reality true
Ignorance to believe peace can be a cue
Coexist, a mere excuse to tolerate…
But all people do is dismember, irate
Will this world unite?
I think not, war is means but to excite
Will love be true?
Only to those who challenge their taboo

Hypocrisy is this world
All people will never understand
Cross-wire neural
Science to show actual study
But instead we get stuck in dirt, water, muddy
God, an entity who some try to prove
Yet many fight their life to disprove
Only leading to more separation
A cry for help desperation
A shove in their face
 -transcendentalism-
If you were wondering, in case
But not the only “ism” –
Try and hide from optimism, pessimism, idealism, and realism
No, don’t! You’ll be locked in
The beautiful array of colors of your prism
Darkness in your mind, prison

But, I won’t mock
In fact, all we do is talk
Like in a high school so did a jock
But stand up unite, even then you can win a battle,
Not the fight, you’ll still be rounded up like cattle

In the end we cannot win
Even in life you have your evil twin
There will be a time as we’ll all unite
Allegiance dismiss, and alliance abyss
And at this moment it won’t be worth a lonely kiss
We know what comes but “to each their own”
Will not be enough when in a distance painful screaming moan

I cannot say I wish you love and pretend to be like a timid dove
I don’t wish you hate, it’s stupid we know, the enemy even mate
And maybe just tolerate, a simple way of life
Not for many who hide,
A sudden taste, steel knife
Get your weapons; see how many actually lied
It’s brave to pretend but we all have difference talents to extrapolate

I won’t say hold hands, ludicrous
Like a prepubescent, brainless
Ignorant to point and want peace
When we know as humans,
More than animals, like a beast

We’ll always ALL be shallow,
Looking for the better
But that’s what society will allow
Until the moment you think you’ve “met her”

It’s all perspective
Who has the biggest brain?
Do we know? No, it’s selective
We, by ourselves, will never be the same
With a psychologist, defective

All society is infected
With creed, greed, and money insected
Humanity laws subjective
We’ve never had freedom, get it?
We claim faith and turn it into hate
What is “belief”, your sudden game?
Please concentrate, and relate
You can stay with your four corner frame
But don’t, escape!
You’ve all been trapped for years
Concealed in your world, a constant rape!

by REF
(still a lil rough) 6-27-2011
Open your eyes!!!

when it comes to religion...

When it comes down to religion there will always be certain topics that always become touchy. It's something that many hold dearest to their heart as it's something they've grown up with, and more than likely will want to pass down to their children.
Frankly, I can also imagine holding such beliefs will also lead to handling the mockery which comes hand in hand with our beliefs. Which if your indoctrinate your children they will also have to face, with a more neo-systematic kind of way. I know in no way am I as conservative as my  parents were but I'm the child who was raised the most conservative of the 4 , being the eldest.
In my Catholicism as a child, maybe I did not think much of it since probably the majority of kids in my class were hispanics and Catholic for that matter but it came in when I was in high school. I didn't realize but even though I had the majority of friends who were Catholic some were growing up and had parents who were converting. Obviously they were having different mind sets and passing them to their children which is what all parents do. "Dios te va a castigar si se portas mal!" like trying to change their morality by saying, "God will punish you, if you do bad" So kids would listen in order to be in good terms.
For most of my life, I was always comfortable with my religion since no one ever opposed it... Until high school... I think the most offensive thing I felt was when Christians [- Do not know their denomination - since I just looked into it and realized there are so many... but they just called themselves Christians (like being Catholic wasn't Christian) anyways... ]They were always bashing on the "Virgin Mary" and I didn't understand why... they would call her a "whore" and different ugly names and then their method was to invite me and my other friends to their church  I was a little confused... especially since I was always tolerant towards people in all religions and non-beliefs as long as they left me alone. I mean to this day I still don't understand why the bad name calling to the Virgin Mary if after all she was/is the mother to their Savior too... I don't know about you but usually when people call other people's moms a name it will make people angry... So Imagine Jesus denying you because you just called his mom a bad name... "he's forgiving" as long as you're willing to accept that you were wrong. So Why is there a need to Mock of religions or is it a misunderstanding?

Last night a post was written by a rather good friend Krisko (aka GodlessLiberal) "What Mormons Believe" I know he wasn't trying to be offensive but matters always get taken out of proportion. We, people, are fickle and get offended easily. But, of course that specific community is in awe and I could sympathize with how I felt when I was in high school being down talked about my religion.
I've known Mormons from high school and have even had the privilege to meet a great guy on here also a friend Ray (TrainTrack) a very kind, sweet hearted person, who always cares for others and tries to uplift them in times of need... We have had many discussions when it comes to Mormonism- their customs, family values, life. He wrote a post last night "Why the Mocking?" When one has already the pressure of life and you're trying to lead a way of God unlike so many different religious sectors it becomes almost innate for people to try and defend their religion. And quite honestly most have already done so for most of their life that they don't have to anymore. Maybe what we can do is be more accepting of everybody (which I know, I know... we're online and we're all more liberal- the likeliness almost impossible) but maybe tolerable of each other. We're all adults and know how to be humble as long as one doesn't go attacking the other... But there are differences between personal attacks and a general attack of belief.
I love hearing about religion the good and the bad in general because religion and controversial topics make life interesting. But, I have also talked to a priest in the past and he said whether people believe or not, that we can all "be saved"... so it's not only about believing, it's being general good to ourselves and the world. I know there are always arguments when it comes to which religion is the true religion but I have found out that we all belief where we feel the most comfort, where we all feel at home... But,something I've asked myself in the past, "Shouldn't God be happy we follow religion period?"  Since, people will never truly know which religion is the true one, ever... and even if "the Lord" came to tell the world there will still be skeptics... I say we all have tolerance for each other and show TLC to everybody.... sure I may sound a lil delusion but showing everybody love sure makes the world a better place!!!!

non-consensual sleeping...

It's So odd when this happens but it's been happening more and more... I'll be wide awake maybe bored or something but like I sit or lay down on a bed... and I just knock out...  It just happened like 30 mins ago... I just woke up with the feeling of "wtf happened?" or "why am I sleeping?"
 For those who don't know, I'm not a big fan of sleeping but I've been taking a lot more naps lately too:
some I agree too and some have been like I "knock out" - none consensual  ...
it freaks me out that I can so easily fall asleep when I was just wide awake...
I think when I wake up, I wake up a lil scared, my heart is racing too...
I have fallen asleep at times in the car not driving (well actually there too but I try and avoid this) but when stopped and people go into the store or go visit people... (lock the door and put most of the window up... hate being disturb)
I have randomly been in a nap and fallen asleep there too... (although, a lil scared to fall asleep in such an open space)
 
(Random like this with more clothes and no pet) - The ferret makes me want to see Along Came Polly- Random!!! 
At nights, I do fall asleep with my comp a lot... more recently than not... but this last week I've been going to sleep early... so I'm getting more sleep. But, it's not something that's been happening for just days...
I had to hang up the phone in the middle of the day with a friend because I fell asleep in the middle of our conversation, and she's not boring... but she never found out...

*sigh* enough of this weirdness
Do you ever fall asleep randomly? Ever take naps or do you mainly sleep at night??
(Sorry, I'm still a lil dazed and confused!)

Just thought I would clarify in fine print: I am not crazy, a lil weird sometimes, random, odd sometimes a lil paranoid but most of the time it happens to be all in fun...But I truly do found this a lil weird and odd for my own taste... maybe it's not for you or maybe it is... I usually write about something to find out if someone else has had the same thing happen or if they can relate... idk.... whatev ...

My pages & entertainment- internet addict??

Geez.... I was just trying to think of how many open accounts I have online... sometimes too many to keep up
1. Obviously Xanga... haha

2. Facebook
3. twitter although I made private just recently just for experimentation
4. myspace (we all know it's dead) I haven't logged on to mind in ages... I actually just went to the Url... I didn''t delete it because it look me such a long time to get it to how I wanted it ... I just looked at my page... there is a lot of crap that I never put there... very sad!!!! I hate you myspace...
5. Myheritage which is where I've worked on my family tree...
I had a friendster and high5 (deleted those)
6. photobucket
7. Blogger
8. Tumblr which I created right now... I sold to the temptation of people having it... I guess I'm taking my time to learn this one too...
oh yea ... I also have a
9.Livejournal which I hardly use... I started using blogger instead of this one... thought it was easier... 
10. youtube
11. Ebay --- paypal different? it's been forever!
12.
I think I must have something with google too... I don't know... I mean I had completely forgotten about youtube...I feel like I must be forgetting something else...

not to mention my messengers:
Yahoo
Aim/Facebook chat (I linked them)
MSN
Skype
Blackberry messenger
(and you wanna know the sad part of all of this... I only need my computer to use Xanga... everything else I can manage on my blackberry )
even like like 7 email accounts...

Yea, I know... that's way too much and I think I'm forgetting more... maybe,.. not sure!!

It was over in 10 mins :/

I was naked....
She was in me...
I didn't know her name ...
she felt me up....




It was over in like 10 mins...

I have a bruise to show for it




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You gotta love OB-GYNs...

Thank you for the help

So yesterday I believe I was asking for a lil help with my theme. I wanted to fix it because there was a typo in it. We know that in a huge community like xanga there is bound to be some one who knows how to this. But, I'm also not well known so I was crossing my fingers that amongst anybody who did happen to read it, someone would be able to help. And surely, someone came to my rescue. Not that I like things perfect but I at least enjoy having the full words, you know...

I was to Thank Bede (BFB1131) for taking time off of his own schedule and help me out with my little theme issue. Thank you so much. the 3 images were perfect, you did a great job. I'm very thankful for it! So thanks to him my theme is fixed... YAY!!!! It looks the same to anybody to didn't notice or see it but the change is done!!!

Thank you, again!!!

Theme changes...need help

Ok, So I recently changed my theme on my xanga page... duh!!! You can see it, you're on it... Now, I love it but I have a big issue with the lil poem or writing on the on the top left... Does anybody know how I can get into the actually theme or code or what ever it is I need to do to change it a bit... or does anybody know how to do it? I know there has to be some computer people out there or hackers or something... I really want to change it a lil... I mean I like it but those small mistakes... just bite out at me...

Any help please!!!!

Indifference

Currently
I'm just feeling indifferent with life... I'm like happy and unhappy at the same time. I don't know how to describe... i guess the only explanation is that they cancel each other and I feel indifferent.
I have so much on my mind... I like stare out to empty space... I just think and get nowhere... I want to write but there is nothing to say... I want to talk but I don't know how to start a convo... I just tune everything out with music... I'm just sleeping more and more on daily basis... I'm annoyed and irritable... well right now it doesn't count that I got sun burnt...
There are just moments when i just wanna sleep and not wake up... sometimes I feel that my dreams even though I don't remember them would just make things easier... you know like in "Inception" when you see all those people sleeping because the only way they feel alive or ok is sleeping and alive in the dream world? Well if you don't it'sa very brief moment in the movie... right now I wish I would just be down... *shrug*

My Blackberry is not working!

haha ... so I needed something to laugh to! =D

Currently
I'm just feeling indifferent with life... I'm like happy and unhappy at the same time. I don't know how to describe... i guess the only explanation is that they cancel each other and I feel indifferent.
I have so much on my mind... I like stare out to empty space... I just think and get nowhere... I want to write but there is nothing to say... I want to talk but I don't know how to start a convo... I just tune everything out with music... I'm just sleeping more and more on daily basis... I'm annoyed and irritable... well right now it doesn't count that I got sun burnt...
There are just moments when i just wanna sleep and not wake up... sometimes I feel that my dreams even though I don't remember them would just make things easier... you know like in "Inception" when you see all those people sleeping because the only way they feel alive or ok is sleeping and alive in the dream world? Well if you don't it'sa very brief moment in the movie... right now I wish I would just be down... *shrug*

have you ever felt this?? head pressure...

I get two pressure points on the back of my head, they're pretty parallel to each other... like midway of my skull (speaking in between from forehead to my neck in the middle) one pressure is on the right side and the other is on the left. They're starting to happen more often. It's not like everyday often but in the last 2 months or so I've had them like 3 times at least. The only way I get relief is to apply a lot pressure simultaneously so I press with my both hands until it minimizes... it takes a very small while. Does anybody else get that or something similar? Or do you know someone who has that happen to them? Or anything would help....
But, I know some of you will tell me to get that checked out and I really appreciate that but I wish it were that easy. I'm trying to see if anybody has had it happen to them, then relate and see if it's something imperative. I truly wish I can go sometimes but the fact is that I can't afford it... so i'm keeping it simple. It doesn't worry me... if I worried about everything that happens within, I think I would be more miserable taking so many meds at this point. I don't even take pain relievers for that matter...  *shrug*
I don't know causes it, it  can be stress... but it's happened in moments of excitement, happiness, sadness too... so I don't know...
Hope someone out there can help me...

Undate-able

So I've come to this conclusion all my my lonesome...  UNDATEABLE!
or
Can it be that I don't meet the right people in real...
The only people I ever would have really wanted to meet were nerds in my classes...  You know the "know it alls" but they lacked personality and had the need to do everything but enjoy some company. Not only that I guess I must have missed a lot of opportunities I was in a serious relationship for a while of my college career adventure and graduated with a baby... After that who would want a girl like me?
Hey guys, I do have a mind of my own... I know sad... yea, you can't tell me what you want and not expect me to ask for something in return... fyi I'm not going to ask for a "ring", "a car" "a house" or "kids" those are all decisions... (will you ever get near to any of them, not sure) But I will say, with a job I know I can have each of those my self oh and for kids... I have one... (kids= the most serious talk in the world with me... SERIOUS)
I don't have that of a distasteful personality... it can be a lil different but who's isn't?
I to enjoy talking and flirting sometimes but don't get me wrong I don't cheat or ever will. Don't expect anything from it.
The definition of "love" by gentlemen's actions has made my thoughts of love "fickle"
I don't dance... well I haven't  done so since freshmen year or maybe beginning of sophomore year in college...max when I was 19... that's like 7 years... 
I do have  an ocassional drink ... My thought process while inibriated still the same but a lil more brave but not very brave... I still wont sing in front of people lilke kareoke even though I've wanted to try...
I'm attached to my phone... but if I can manage to ignore my phone for hours so can you ...
Part of what i enjoy is talking... doesn't even cost anything... I like to save people money...
(religion has been taken out-for the time being it use to hold an importance- currently not sure about organize religion-) at the time getting to know the person for who they and stand for are more important than their beliefs... Religion right now seems relative...
I love staring at the stars... one day i'm going to by a telescope...
I enjoy classical music... but I don't make you listen to it but I also enjoy Symphony Orchestras, Operas, Ballet -- Hello music major.... and I enjoy the Arts...
I enjoy rock (My fav station KROQ) but if you're not in LA you don't hear it but even I don't get to since I live a lil far from it. I literally like all types of music, rock, punk, emo, all the variations of all of those combined and I'm open to new bands, I like rap, hip hop, R&B, some mainstream... But I hardly listen to radio and I certainly don't want TV (seriously), there are even a few countries songs I like. I'm pretty well rounded...
I would love to visit museums.. last time I was in one I was probably 7 yrs old
Kids --- I'm a single mother of one... so if you can't accept that oh well... as for kids with someone else... I'm almost certain I don't want any. (well unless you have a good reason- it's an discuss-able topic. You just might be an exception as mentioned above this is a SERIOUS topic)
Cuddling- never had it so I'm not sure if I like it or not but it would be interesting.
I've always slept pretty much alone or slept in a really small bed with my son so I tend to stay in an edge of the bed no matter what usually...
i do like make-up... I've minimized in the years...
Oh and I hate cleaning but I hate a dirty place... realize that if I clean it gets dirtier first then somewhat clean... to almost spotless...
Dishes sometimes give me comfort... when I do chores I listen to music and tune everything out
I dislike talking on the phone but when I'm talking to someone I enjoy it... (nobody ever calls me... )
I like doing  laundry... nothing like having clean clothes... hate putting them away though...
I enjoy cooking but don't make me angry because then I wont want to make anything
I am not hot temptered at all but do tend to have dominant type of character which sometimes makes me clash with people... I'm actually quite patient but tick me off and the gloves are off. (maybe the full Mexican in me) But, if you can handle me, I'm the most passive as girls come as well... you can't handle a girl with a stronger character.
You are either submissive (which I use to be, timid, controllable but not completely anymore) or have the power to control a household which I know I can... I tend not to take leadership positions but when I have them... I make best of the power I know how to use it well to the benefit of everybody.
I on a rare ocassion can be very opinionated and that's more and more when you know what I stand for.
I don't expect special treatment as long as you treat me with respect.
I do enjoy chivalry but not having it isn't a deal breaker... I can make it on my own... having a hard time starting now... but once i'm there ... I know how to handle.
i was over protected as a child and sometimes my thoughts and the way I make up my mind can't be innocent (child like, naive, ignorant)
I've been single most of my life with exception of 3 years... so I'm not susceptible (can be a lil gullible but you can figure that out)
I compromise my experiences... I accept people for who they are completely (good and bad and if I don't I wont consider you from the get go) but my free acceptance leaves me hanging... I feel as though they never accepted me back the same way... (I guess acceptance isn't reciprocated)
As time passes my wall of attachment has grown higher and thicker. Don't think I don't let people talk to me because I do. Some who I let them talk to me have an advantage already but most don't know how to use it. I end up just stacking them up as just friends... And I can tell the difference in flirting too...
I rather be alone than unhappy.
My heart basically tolerate a "3 strikes your out system" - well I haven't counted how many strikes each person gets but knowingly or unknowingly people are given chances... and this only applies to talking and maybe dating... relationship is different. If you can't make it while we talkor date why would I want a relationship with you.
I'm still friends with people I've talked to or dated... they give me advice on guys... heads up... Who knows men better than them they know different types of men and how the are 
I wont lie to you but you better not lie to me... When I find out....guess what? a thicker wall means harder work... and not worth it for you. (just being honest)
at some point in the talking... I so some pursuing... just like it was done to me... but if you get comfortable with that... DONT... If I see no reciprocation (or intent from your side) I move on... simple... have had a few guys get too comfortable... doesn't work, sorry!
I analyze a lot ... and think a lot... so I listen to music to clear up my mind
Yea, so I'm undate-able....
Have you ever felt like you were undateable or just not compatible with anybody?

It's not fair...

And this is because I really do care... I care a lot... I do... I care a lot about you but not about the discussion...
We had fire in our eyes
In the beginning I
Never felt so alive
In the beginning you
You blame me but
It's not fair when you say that I didn't try
I just don't want to hear it anymore

Let it Die
by Three Days Grace 

Scales: more about music *small edit*

A scale is a pattern set by minor and major intervals (whole and half steps) which were first derived by modes. The most commonly knows of the modes are the "Ionic" -Majors and "Aeolian" - natural minor scales.
Modes:
The most important ones I will talk about in this case will be Major and minor scales just thought it woud
Ionian: starts on "C" and is the like the major scale and Aeolian- minors scales

Mode	Tonic relative to major scale	White note	Interval sequence
Ionian	I	C	T-T-s-T-T-T-s
Dorian	II	D	T-s-T-T-T-s-T
Phrygian	III	E	s-T-T-T-s-T-T
Lydian	IV	F	T-T-T-s-T-T-s
Mixolydian	V	G	T-T-s-T-T-s-T
Aeolian	VI	A	T-s-T-T-s-T-T
Locrian	VII	B	s-T-T-s-T-T-T

On the interval sequel the "T" stands for a "Whole tone" which I will later refer to as "W" and the "s" is for a "semitone" also known as a "Half step" which I will later refer to as "H"
Ionian
 
Dorian

Phrygian

Lydian

Mixolydian

Aeolian

Locrian

The Modes here are actually based on the white notes on the keyboard.

C major scale

as displayed here is actually starting from the first note "C"- "D"- "E"- "F"- "G"-"A"- "B"- "C"
The pattern of a major scale is (and remember "whole tone" = "W" and a whole step is also equivalent to 2 half steps and "half step" ="H"
Whole tone - "C" to "D"
Whole tone- "D" to "E"
Half Step -"E" to "F"
Whole Step -"F" to "G"
Whole Step- "G" to "A"
Whole Step "A" to "B"
Half Step -"B" to "C"
In simple pattern : W-W-H-W-W-W-H
In a basic scale "fixed 'do'"(well not in movable clef) meaning that the first note of the scale or the Tonic in the "C" major scale the tonic will be "C" ...
In movable "do" or to ease the solphage singing you can use Movable "do" to signify the first note of the scale as "Do" which would be equivalent to "C" in this case...
This example is to reference of the "C" major scale which can actually change depending on the scale you use but to simplify "C" is the easier one to use....
Tonic- (1) ="C" ="Do"
Supertonic (2) ="D" ="Re"
Medient (3) = "E"= "Mi"
Subdominant (4) ="F"="Fa"
Dominant (5) ="G"= "So"
Submedient (6)= "A"="La"
Leading Tone (7)= "B"= "Ti"
Tonic (1)="C"= "Do"
[* is scale actually used]
Also if you see a scale with 2 different letter names lie "B"-"C♭" [♭=flat] 
It is because those are "Enharmonic" -they may be written differently but they're exactly the same, they sound the same.
The pattern used above was for major scales includes all major scales - all 12. And the scales are then added accidentals [sharps (#), and Flats (♭)] to differentiate them
C Major (M)- All Natural- no flats and no sharps
G Major- 1# sharp
D Major- 2# sharps
A Major- 3# sharps
E Major- 4# sharps
{*B Major -C♭ Major} enharmonic- 5# sharps & 7♭ flats
{F# Major -G♭Major*} enharmonic- 6# sharps & 6♭ flats
{C#Major -D♭Major*}enharmonic- 7# sharps & 5♭ flats
A♭ Major- 4♭ flats
E♭ Major- 3♭ flats
B♭ Major- 2♭ flats
F Major- 1♭ flat

Circle of Fifths - that what one way of formulating the scales is called. And the reason is because they are a perfect 5th apart
example: C to G is a perfect 5th =
C(1)-D(2)-E(3)-F(4)-G(5)
------------------------->
another example ; G to D is perfect 5th
G(1)- A(2)-B(3)- C(4)- D(5)
--------------------------->
etc.
 
But, if you were to start with "C" since you always begin with it and instead of following with "G" major scale to went to the flats and started the next scale "F" Major scale (backwards almost) then you would be using the circle of 4ths
Cmajor- Fmajor- B♭major- E♭major-A♭major etc - These are all perfect 4ths
Each scale has a major triad.
The major triad: The ionic which is the first note of the scale, the medient which is the 3rd note of the scale and the dominant which is the 5th note of the scale
In C major

which is the the chord and basically identifies the Scale. If you ever notice in music sometimes they write for one hand or for 2 and you see CM, GM7, dm etc well  it's referring to the triad... the chord... but even in those instances it can either be played as a chord (so all three notes together) or a 'broken chord' which is still the same notes but not played simultaneously. See next pic.
   
example of chord notes:
in G Major- GBD
in D Major DF#A
and etc
In major triad the intervals which will identify the are a Major 3rd from the Tonic (1st)"C" to the Medient (3)"E" and a minor 3rd from the Medient(3rd)"E" to the Dominant (5th) "G"
 Speaking about broken chords lead to what is known as an "arpeggios"
An Arpeggio is the same chord as in a major triad but now it's considered a broken chord...
[little song from the Aristocat movie "Do" "Mi" "So" is C major triad]
"Do mi do mi do so mi do
Every truly cultured music student knows
You must learn your scales and your arpeggios
Bring the music ringing from your chest
And not your nose
While you sing your scales and your arpeggios

If your faithful to your daily practicing
You will find you progress is encouraging
Do mi so mi do me so mi fa la so it goes
When you do your scales and your arpeggios

Do mi so do
(Fast piano music playing)

do mi so do do so mi do (Repeat)
Though it seems at first it doesn't show
Like a tree ability will bloom and grow
If you're smart you'll learn by heart what every artist knows
Your must sing your scales
And your arpeeee ee eeggioooooooooos!"
Anyways, side tracked by "the Aristocats'" song the Arpeggio, BUT examples of arpeggios with scales is as follows (Sorry it's in bass clef (F-clef) ) if you don't remember what that is I shall refer to you to my last post on music.) or you if need to figure out the notes the other post should help a little.


Then we have minor scales...
Most of the time you'll hear about the "relative minor" even though most of the time it isn't called that just minor but the "relative minor" is based on the relative major as it pertains to the "Key Signature"
For example: C major has a key signature of all naturals (So no sharps# or flats♭) so the relative minor is "A" Natural minor which would be "Aeolian mode" or Another example "E" Major has 4# sharps and the relative minor is (My all time favorite) "C#" sharp minor - 4#s 
And then there is The "parallel minor" which is typically easier to remember by the way it looks basically the same as a major in notes "C Major" and "c minor"  but the true difference comes in the key signature "CM" has an all natural key signature and "cm" has 3♭s
The minor triad is also very recognizable in sound specifically because now instead of having C-E-G as a major triad, you actually drop the 3rd (medient) by a half step (or you flat [♭] the 3rd) which you would end up with C-E♭-G the minor triad
So in comparison to the major triad that had C-E be a Majpr 3rd now you actually have a minor 3rd and a major 3rd from E♭-G
C-E♭- Minor 3rd
E♭-G Major 3rd
But there is plenty more to talk about minor scales which I will leave for a later time...


This was written to satisfy my brain fascination with scales in the last couple of days and nights...
I know, I know
nerdy music but I love it... it keeps me sane sometimes...

Complex number/complex life; they equal each other? what?

So it just dawned to me that maybe simple is to complex to begin with... well sort of I guess... (i)= imaginary - I guess in math it does.... lol

simple me (i)= complex...

haha I was thinking imganary numbers... so maybe there is more to the simplicity I have and that equals complex...

wait what?!

I don't know... I'm drinking watered down cranberry juice (no alcohol, just water and cranberry juice)... and my mind makes no sense...

But, on the other hand... I made an equation of me... which means I'm equal to a negative... oh no! Even more complex...

so for example if i ^2 = −1

Then Me (i)^2= equals a negative variable...

Can it be??

Ok, I'm done!

Music... some basics

We all know and love music ...

It has been the cause of happiness and even tears of many ... but music isn't only involved what you hear... In fact it always starts with the basics in music...

Music- is basically a melody, harmony and some rhythm
I wanted to help explain how one starts learning a little more of music...

It all starts 5 horizontal lines on a piece of paper




That is a blank staff... You will know based on the clef which you shall be using. For example, the staff is defined by either a Treble clef which is also know as the G-clef. The curve wraps around the the line which is “G” (G4) basically giving the rest of notes their order.

Then there is also the bass clef which is the “f” clef. If you can see the illustration you will see 2 dots and those are actually in between the note “f” (F3) giving the notes in the bass cleff their position.




But even those notes are selected if you have ever seen a grand staff.




You notice how the 2 staff go so well together well they actually do very well. They are just a continuation of each other but adding more staff lines instead of adding more lines to the notes which can get a little confusing for example



Notice the top note in the bass clef which is Middle C (C4) is actually the same note at the beginning of the Treble Clef

Here the hardest part explaining is that middle C is neither the end or the beginning of the Clefs... You can still keep going on in Bass Clef and likewise on the Treble Clef you can still keep going down from Middle C... But the clefs are guidelines for the instrumentalist and also depends on the range of the instrument.

You notice the notes in both ends? Those notes must still be read. All noted in the staff actually as a map to guide you pick a specific note with it’s specific frequency. You can pick a different octave (which is the same note, either 8 notes above, or 8 notes below) But the note with the specific flag will give you a specific pitch.

Anyways, sorry I got away a little. I tend to do that when it comes to music. When I’m teaching I love it and I enjoy being able to go off in a small tangent only to being them back for the next subject.

Anyways, back to the beginning. Now, that you see what Bass and Treble clef is, the most common and well known of the clefs and the most used is actually the treble clef which is the most common. Common Instruments which use the Treble is are the Clarinet, Flute, Oboe, Sax, trumpet, euphonium, horn, English horn, violin,
And common bass instruments are Tuba, baritone, trombone, bass

And piano is a combination of both hence why the grand staff is for.
(and I’m not going to talk about moveable clef… I’m biased and I hate it! not hate it but I haven't studied much of it. I have rarely used it except when I played viola for a brief moment- one of the most beautiful instrument sound but hate the clef)

Key signature – which will actually let you know in what key (or basically the scale the music will use) you’ll be playing in. But it’s doesn’t restrict to just the scales since there tends to be accidentals (notes which do not go along with the pattern of the scale given)

Which goes into:
Sharps(#): a half step above the note given (i.e. you have f and add a sharp now you have f#)

Double sharps: 2 half steps above the given note (1 whole step) (I.e. you have f and add a double sharp Fx x= 2#... which since it added to half steps fx is the same as "G"

Flats: a half step down ( i.e. if you have E and add a flat (♭) then you have E♭

double flats: 2 half steps down (1 whole step) (i.e. if you have "E" and add a double flat ( ♭♭) then since you lowered the note by 2 half steps it becomes "D"

Time signature- This will basically tell you how many beats in a measure and what beat typically get the beat
(the beat = the pulse =what we feel when you’re bopping your head)
You normally will see
common time (c) which is the same thing as 4/4 4 beats per measure and and the quarter note gets the beat (mathematical explanation- fractions)
You will also 2/4 – 2 beats per measure and quarter note gets the beat
Or
6/8 which is 6 beats per measure eight note gets the beat which also has a 3 feel depending on how it’s written 1-2-3 4-5-6 or as you even see the grouping and feel in 2…



Okay, I keep getting a little ahead there is so much it’s so easy to just keep going…
Whole note= 4 beats


Half note = 2 beats and 2 half notes = whole note


Quarter note= 1 beat = half of a half note and 4 quarters equal a whole note


Eight note= ½ a beat= 2 equal a quarter note and 8 equal a whole note






Okay, I am going to stop here for now and add more later

There is so much to it... and this is only the beginning