bouquet of tears

This has been something I've been keeping to myself for the longest time... I'm always the first to burst out what I'm feeling and what not... when it first happened I freaked out... I truly did. I was scared and I didn't even want to think about it.

I give things a chance and then give up when they fail.. deep inside I'm always a hopeless romantic with traditional ideals but I'm a realist too so I knock myself down and keep myself down... I reject people because I just can't afford to go out with anybody. A single mom with less than a part time and no time... not a person any man would really want, in my opinion. Too much baggage.

I haven't been able to pour emotions even though I'm the one who just lets them out ... I've kept this the most to myself because it's been personal for the first time even more... And, it wont satisfy your craving but for me this will suffice.
I feel like I'm broken with smiles and I can't fix it, stupid I know...
Friday I received

and it came with a cute lil card...

They were beautiful but I didn't get to see them much, I was out that evening. Got home and woke up early for my uncle's funeral and time with the family. They had come from MN so we needed to spend time with them. Yesterday, in pouring rain we drove an hour and a half again to see them and say our good byes... I spent friday, saturday and sunday in SGV ... loved every moment of it. Today, the first time I'm home in 3 days...
That bouquet you see... I started unwrapping because I was going to take the lil white flowers and place those in water... it's been cold out here so my room was like a fridge... they were well kept. I started unwrapping them like they were a gift (well they were, are ) or I meant like christmas morning... excited!! and they smelled divine.... My three most favorite colors... Black, Red, Pink ...
When I was unwrapping I saw that they were also 3 individual bouquets and not only that but until today I didn't know they were real flowers. I realized it when I saw the stems, I know stupid, I was/am haha  but when I saw them I teared up. I guess I got a little emotional, the first time I've received flowers in my life and didn't realize it until 3 days later...
I felt, happy, ungrateful, ecstatic, unappreciative... just up and down... haha but mostly just tears of joy.

They're hanging above my mirror to start the drying process. If they weren't real I was going to put them in a vase but now it can wait until they dry up and their value goes up even more, lol.
Thank you!!








*hugs*
Thank you!