My childhood dream when i was young was to be a defense attorney. yea, I was 10 at the time... that was still before I knew of the Clarinet but I still wanted it. I wanted to be a lawyer even though I was embarrassingly shy ... (in fact I knew I was so shy at the age of 5, I couldn't do anything with the fear people were looking at me and judging me... yea 5 yrs old) Anyways, I had the dream and wanted to pursue it... I went to high school and I knew that in order for me to want to know what it felt like I was suppose to be in a Mock trial team, the thing was that our school was brand new and didn't offer it. So I kept asking for it... and pushing towards it... they made it... yay! My first 7th period class... not to mention I already had a zero period so I was in school 8 period... one before school and another after... I really wanted this... we learned about the law and the objections and all that jazz... it was fun... but I wasn't ready for the attorney position... I was actually the defendant who was put on trial ... I was still sure that even though I was too shy and have a hard time standing up to people I would be a great attorney. The thing that started to change my mind... and even though I loved those 2 teachers it was them... 2 females... one of them was a lawyer's secretary so she knew her way around the books and did a lot of the work, the other teacher was very intimidating but super nice to me (in fact I fooled her one time I was unprepared for the class, my sweet, pureness in character bought her away, no lie... so glad she didn't make me cry that day...*sigh* )
anyways, those 2 teachers were amazing, they were great but you know what... they were in their 40s/50s and most importantly single... I knew at that moment that if I wanted to pursue my dream... I would lack sleep... Never been a fan but out of choice not because I had to... I know stupid but the thing was that I was going to have to marry my job if I wanted to be successful. I knew at that moment that I didn't want to be it just because of that. I one day wanted to have a family... I wanted to get married and have children... and if I did then that would interfere with my job... I knew at 15-16 i had to pick in between a career or his other childhood dream I had had for years...
It's stupid really... I guess I chose the wrong path to begin...
When I was young I was to be married by the age of 22 and have 3 kids by the age 25.... watch them grow and live happily ever after. Now, I'm 26 and sure I have a child but definitely not the way it was suppose to be... One child and not married... Now, I have no career no life but my son...
And there is still a childhood dream I will keep... One day I will find a way to succeed in life... I will have my dream home... I guess my dream home will always be too hard out of reach and that is how you know you were a dreamer but can't get rid of it all...
I see all these homes and they all seem so tiny to what dream portrays... I don't even know how a lil poor girl had the thought to imagine said house... to tell you the least I drew out plans when I was young and wanted to add measurements to it and make it as realistic... before I go to a minimal description of what I dreamed a selfish lil girl... (did I ever tell you I wanted to do fashion design too... I had drawn out many clothes items, pants, coats, sweaters, jackets, dresses... Hey I drew different variations of what I use to want my dream wedding dress to look like. In fact, i wanted to designed my self, can you imagine...) Anyways, I use to want a huge house and you're mentality of huge doesn't compare... I wanted one with many rooms... I a lot...to the the least... I use to want an indoor and outdoor pool but as a grown up I'll be happy with one on the outside with a spa, but I do want a spa and a big bathroom in the master bedroom, I guess that's too much but I'll save for it and remodel... who knows maybe my dad would be able to do it... he's remodeled house before... but an office to share or individual depending on how much office space is needed... , family room for kids, living room for peace and quiet, Kitchen... one of my favorite places except when I have to do the dishes... lol 2 stoves.. I always use to want to know what it felt like to have everything cooking at the same time... I guess it's the chef part of me lol probably 2 different Refrigerators but only one in the kitchen area..
Can't believe when we're young we think everything is reachable and then we grow up a lil and everything seems unreachable... *sigh* I guess if I'm lucky and start saving I can at least have the huge kitchen and I'll invite everybody for dinner... =D
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