I know you guys have gone through some rough moments in life and quite frankly have drags us along for the ride as well. To be honest you guys have put a little too much effort in almost making sure know whats going on so when my life was so chaotic and falling apart... I would dwell on what what going on with you guys, a bigger personal heartbreak. Sometimes I wonder if because I do a lot of the work to keep up, you guys are still together... or if you stay together because I live with you guys and it would be disrespectful to each of you leave when I've been there for you both. Sometimes, I just don't want to hear you guys... I wish you would calmly speak and say your peace, 1. without screaming or taking things out of proportion or 2. without closing yourself to what is being said. The are times where I wish I can sit you both and try and talk some sense into you...but It would be fruitless and I don't want to be involve, I just want to walk away and let you fix your issues... I'm not your mom...I'm not going to fix them for you, you have to learn. The only reason I've been single, loner, depressed in my life is because of you guys... Don't get me wrong, I want to do everything to help but so many things have just led to my isolation... It's really time for me to leave. As much as I love you both, I need to fly away and form my own nest. You have both taught me a lot of about marriage. Maybe a lot on what not to do well with a spouce... Communication is a must, understanding, confronting issues instead of running away, pretending will never be ok.
Mom, I know you've gone through some tough moments in these last 3 years. First that car accident which was a heartbreak to see you in so much pain but I've been here. And then the discovery of your tumor and that surgery...
it was tough seeing you be in so much pain in the hospital after the surgery as we had to move away to a place an hour distance away... heartbreaking we couldn't be there every single day. But, I've been here with you. I've given up practically 3 years just to be along side to make sure everything is ok. To do all your work. To run a lil of your business, to take you everywhere you have to go... I let go of many dreams, many needs, I really let go of myself. So it makes me sad when I hear so much criticism. I try and try real hard but surely I need some escapes too. I'm been a good daughter, I don't go out ever or ask for anything. In fact since I'm not making money, I have needs but i prefer to struggle with those on my own. I guess for the moment I'm just happy to have a roof over my head.I'm sorry I wasn't able to do the psychology degree like you wanted, now you're pushing massage therapy, I might we'll see. It's not as easy sometimes when you're heart isn't completely in. But, I'm happy that you finally came around to my music. I would get so sad when I use to put classical music and you hated it. It made me sad when you wouldn't go to my concerts because they gave you headaches. I felt sad when you didn't support my decisions at first. I don't know why you never describe to me how people would look at me or why I felt shame when people did look at me. I'm finally starting to understand but I'm 26, it's kind of late. I could have been smarter but I was always naive. I love you and I expect you to be able to pick up your life slowly and hopefully depend on my dad a lil more because the moment I leave, I don't want to feel guilty because you make me feel guilty. I want to be happy because I'm going to have my own life. I think I've done more than my duties and I need to pick those up somewhere else.
Thank you for all the support with the baby. Although, you could have allowed me a lil bit of freedom so I didn't feel like the pressure was killing me inside. I know it was a choice. I know I had a baby young and while in college but not being able to go out at all even for fresh air for a few minutes was a literal entrapment specially with work and school work... I fried myself and you knew that. You didn't know I sometimes preferred to die than to continue feeling trapped but I went to therapy which actually help me understand you guys as parents. If you only knew that the biggest issues were with you guys not anything else, I found it weird so they didn't let me let off the subject.
oh and PS... I don't play favorites. As much as you keep accusing my dad is my favorite, I love you both the same. Ok, so he supported me more when I was younger and helped me out and has always gone out of his way, well before. But, he's my dad and you know I was always his lil girl, it doesn't mean I love him more. I just wanted your support too.
Dad,
Thank you for all the support you have given me since I was little. You truly guide me into music, which I learned to love with a passion. It has truly been a gift you have given me. I loved it when you wanted perfection, when you would hear me practice and hear I was a short of a second off with the metronome and have me repeat it until I synced. Those were defining moments. Thank you for encouraging my pursuit of happiness which has actually led to unhappiness lol. But it did make me sad you stop going to some college concert, in fact the most important day in my music career, you weren't there... it was the saddest day of my life. You missed my senior recital, the most important day, te day I had been working towards for years and you weren't day... if you only I cried on that day, My dress ripped, my clarinet stopped working....everything went wrong and the only person who knew were my teacher and my friend because we were going to play together. Wish you would have been there.
I am sorry I disappointed you when I found out I was pregnant. It truly was a punishment for you not to talk to me. I almost felt disowned which was the first time that mom accepted me a little more. She grew a lil fo sympathy. You could have been more supportive instead of ignoring me. But, I am glad now that you love my son so much. I guess after those moments we were just never close enough anymore. But, I'm glad you work hard to win my son over... I know it took years... babies feel everything mommy feels when they're inside, even her sadness and rejection. Dad but no matter what I love you. I guess I had to grow up from the daddy's lil girl mentality.
I do want to say I'm not against you. I've gotten to learn a lot of you through a different perspective. You suddenly became human and not the super hero daddy I use to think you were. Don't get me wrong nothing can ever cause me to feel disrespect but I wish you would tend to my mom's needs a little more. It's not fair that everything I did the last three years was suppose to be your job, not mine. I don't know how you guys thought I was suppose to have so much responsibility and not feel anything and just keep going like a puppet. I know it's hard to understand and I know how hard it was trust me, I did it. But I wonder why you say those marriage vows if you're not going to fully keep up with your agreement with God... "for better and for worse"
To both of you, i suggest you look into your hearts.You hit the 25 year wedding anniversary mark. All your kids and myself being the eldest have all grown up. If we're thrown into the street I'm sure we know how to survive but it's you guys I want to make sure are okay.
Love you both with all my heart,
Reyna E Flores
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Day 1 - Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror
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