So my dad has been talking to his 2nd cousin's son... and I guess they thought if I had a career change I would like it... and what influenced my dad to consider it is that they get a higher pay if the person speaks Spanish... he is going to ask him about it...  It's going to be big if it happens... So he, Omar, just came back from the service... well he is a Marine Sgt. and actively training new recruites... I guess that is what I was told... but what he does for a job  he thought that it would be good for me... I don't know... Hmm... I guess it will have to be in consideration... Sigh... My dad seems so excited and I am too in a bit but I am a scaredy-cat and I don't know why... anymore... but no it's not joining the military... that left my mind in 1999... anyways I will have to get details and see if I am "really" willing to committ... I mean I honeslty would like to do it, I do, I want it... but I don't know what is keeping me back... I think it's my unwillingness to cimmitt to something real in contradiction to my clarinet post I wrote about before... but since I stopped working I lost enthusiasm to be given orders and I know I will have to deal with that and let go of even further emotion, if you will...