Death

In Death there is a certainty: they are physically dead and wont be back ; we wont see them again. And sadly there are many ways to experience this life experience and for most it will happen many times in your life time with the exception of those who are passing. In the last couple of weeks and well you can say months as well we have been crossed by death… not personally but by people in our surroundings. I am speaking of death in general and how people get affected.

 In December, I lost my grandfather sure he was older and around 80 years old but it wasn’t just his age because he had a high spirit. My grandfather died of Cancer which he had been fighting for over 7 years… we were pretty much with him completely his last two weeks of his life. He had asked for all his children to get together because he had a message for them all. Hearing him ask for forgiveness in things he may have done was one of the hardest things… My aunt gave me the video camera so I had to be listening and taping… there were just moments where I handle but I had my responsibility.  After he was able to talk to them… the next day he was fine and was joking around slightly. His voice has soften, he couldn’t make too much effort for the cancer was spread all over his body and the ulcers in this stomach were bursting and all he could take was morphine… he couldn’t even drink or eat anymore...my aunts and uncles would only be able to give him drops of water to drink and kept his mouth hydrated… he was in so much pain. Every day as we saw him fight for his life to stay among us the longest he could was a tough battle. When it was time to throw in the towel, we were all saddened but the reality we were happy that he no longer had to feel that pain, that he was in a better place and that would be able to watch for us as well. 

A couple months later another person who I admired dearly also passed away. Her name was Angie. She also died from Cancer. She was maybe in her 50 close to her 60s. She was an amazing teacher. She was my college Music Theory teacher. I can honestly say that I never had a teacher who put so much enthusiasm into theory. In our assignments she would allow us to write the music, of course, with the rules in mind and it didn’t matter how intricate it was as long as everything was in place as it should have been and after we would finish writing she would play the music back for us. She was a great piano sight reader as well.  I know that we had a new school of music director and many teachers were laid off and many changes were made… slowly a lot of great teachers were being replaces and/or being allowed less to teach. I am not sure how long she had been fighting her battle but she was finally transferred to her sister’s house in Texas where they took care of her and kept up aware of how she was doing. At one point, she had shown such progress but a couple days better stopped eating and lost her motivation, she passed away. When I read the e-mail that she had passed away of course I cried… I didn’t understand how this person, such a great asset to music, a person so enthusiastic not only of her students but loved different genres of music. She also taught African drumming… she knew that the only way people don’t forget about some traditional student instruments it’s to bring awareness…

 

Then on June 6 we were having quite an electrical storm. This was on the news but a lady was struck by lightning twice and obviously she passed away. No, I didn’t know this lady but imagine being struck by lightning, being fried and alive. I am sure that after one bolt she was close to death but still alive… feeling all the agonizing tingling pain all over your body and, on top of that being stuck by lightening one more time. I don’t know but that but that lady went out of her house for something and just happened to be standing by a tree which was the end of her life. I think this must have been an death sentence way of passing…

One month later, My grandfather’s cousin’s wife passed away also. It was said that she was fine. She had gone  up north to spend time with another daughter.  I was told that  for most of her life she had not really lived with her husband, I guess they must have had their own reasons. She had told one of her daughters that she knew her time was getting closer and I guess she just felt as though she  didn’t want to feel lonely.  Her husband went up to live with her.  One month and like a week from when her husband went to go spend time with her, she passed away. They said that all she needed was to just spend as few last moments with her husband just to go in peace. This funeral was a little more sad for me than my grandfather’s was. She was put to rest but she also left because it was time but the husband was with her. She was buried on July 11^th and we had the opportunity to spend time with the family and take the time to be with them in such a sad moment well very well knowing that I had my grandfather passed away just a few months prior. Well besides they’re technically family as well… a little more distant but I am aware they still were and needed to show support.

 

The next death was the grandson of my parents’ wedding  Godparents… He was a 22 year who still had a great life ahead of him who also lost it in a second. He was coming home late night maybe driving a little faster than one should, lost control hit the center divider which almost broke the truck in half. He who was wearing a seat-belt was thrown out of the vehicle and died instantly. Sometimes things in life happen so fast we aren’t aware of how much pain we are bringing to many people. We went to the rosary and they had 2 one in English and one in Spanish.  It was Jammed packed of people. We went to his funeral mass and the church was so full it looked like a Sunday service. It was so obvious that this young guy had a lot of friends but most of of earned the respect of many people. He was a loved person who even had t4eachers appear to give their condolences and respects to the family. We went to his funeral… and there were also a lot of people in the heat many girls fainting in despair, in agony not knowing coming to this reality where their friend would no longer be a part of their lives; Where the girlfriend now would never see the love of her life next to her.  He was the only male in his family with 2 younger sisters who are now left without a brother to ask advice from. His life was cut short but in his short life he made a huge impact on many people’s lives.

And , this one also came out in the news also and it happened in our dear ol’ Fontana. It seems apparent that things are a little off their rockets but what city doesn’t have their own lunatics roaming around in the day and night. Well this one happened to occur next to Chuck-E-Cheese’s in the back of the buildings.  For some odd reason his man came into the Salon where the lady is a hair dresser (Mimi’s salon)and was looking for his wife. She who had just recently filed for divorce and she obviously had a restraining order (for obvious reasons) was about to go to a custody court hearing the following week about her children. Well he ran her out of the place into the pack parking… I don’t know how people didn’t intervene with his raging anger he had especially if he had a “Machete” … like a “butcher knife” ? This guy butchered his wife, ex-wife, mother of his children to death. Her body was found in the back and he had already fled the scene.   Well he was caught like 2 hours later and had to be hospitalized in emergency because he had drank bleach… he kills and tries to take the cowards way out… that is no way… it’s better to pay for the crime committed….

In this last one I don’t really have details, but none the less sad. It’s sad because at times you don’t even know that knowing the wrong people or saying the wrong thing or just being at the wrong  place, wrong time can have such an effect. Well my brother’s Godfather has his older son who was also a co-worker at Mcdonald’s when I worked there. Well he was at a party but for some odd reason left early and his best friend was left there enjoying himself. Well ,  males of black descent went into the party and raided hell. The best friend was shot and died at the scene of the party. He was also a young man maybe 23 or so… Well that there was gang violence, who knows if also a racial act, fight for territory or just plain vengeance. The best friend who sadly and gladly wasn’t at the party but now is suffering for the loss of such a close friend.  He is mourning and now his family is mourning… How can a place as safe as a party with people you know turn into a shoot-out with the death of people.

People are sadly dying everything single day and I am frightened more but how different people are dying. It’s not natural causes…  but more by an induced death factor.  People are now and more than ever taking things into their own hands.  Well more importantly people are passing away from different things and now even suicide is prominent. Kind of sad seeing people from so many different places be suffering for a loved one. They are so separate yet they’re all connected with their sorrow. We are all going to die…  How would you want to be told that a loved one had passed away? How do you think you would react not knowing details as of yet?