When  I woke up today I felt different. Almost invincible. Almost as if I never lost anything at all. Almost as if I was stronger than usual. I don't know why but I almost feel as though tomorrow is then going to be the worst day of my life. You know sometimes we just get weird feelings. Sometimes I wonder if we can actually have so much to loose or if we cling too much that when we do loose it we loose ourselves. Sometimes I wonder how is it that we never have ourselves but we let others have us... have us as in, in their power, containment. Sometimes it feels as though some of us girls, we have had problems all of our lives try and cling to something stronger so that we don't have to handle everything on our own... Then at the end of the night we're the ones who are keeping it all together. We are the ones who suffer for everything while never being kept in consideration. We are the ones who are cheated on and we never realize. We're the ones who are always kept in the dark. And we never know anything. I sometimes wonder if some of us have the 6th sense to feel when something like that happens. Well sadly, I did, almost every time... until he was lost... lost as in he separated the connection. Have you ever felt there was such a strong bond you knew their every thought, the movements they were going to make, their goals, aspirations... then after a while you couldn't see that light, that color that was once there. It's almost as if that love was it's own soul or heartbeat... you feel it beating and pounding in color but when it starts dying the pulse diminishes... and as much as you tried to revive it the light, the pulse, the color is slowly dying. Even though sometimes you don't realize it for years... you're the one who died. You're the one who lost the connection... maybe some believe there is a soul mate out there for every one. Can this be true? Well I think there can be but how often do both make that connection, that 6th sense? When is it that both persons know each other so well that they don't care what they do. They know what they have done and just close their eyes to anything else to pretend everything is going to be okay. Sometimes they're together but are they really together. Are they really bonding as it should be? What step are they in their relationship?

It's so weird how one just goes on about nothing and everything that has ever made sense in their life. For many this is just gibberish and insignificant but to other it makes us think. Who are we and where do we stand with our partners. Are they really with us or what games are we playing in this life. Why is life considered a game at times, then? If we must survive in life why is it that we become so susceptible to heart ache and then again we get lost amongst ourselves.