What is one word guys think of to describe and Ex...?
……Anybody?
DRAMA...
and well yeah I guess in a sense it may be true because of different circumstances but lucky for them when that is true they disregard everything and move on like any normal person does. There are no ties and therefore visitations are very unlikely. Clarify, for the most time....
Well... What happens when your ex is your "baby's daddy" or "baby's momma"? What is it called then?
There is the word again Drama.... why is it that every time a mother wants her kids to see their father, he just disregards it as nothing. Sure they may believe... well I don't have time now but I will eventually... yeah when? When he's ten and is busy himself. Better yet why can't friendship work both ways? Or why does it only work one way?
Personal experience:
Well about a year ago and a half ago, April 2006 ... I was not a friend with my son's father that much we would talk here and there but that was it. We would have hard times but we both knew there was no re-kindling of emotions. Well knowing his wife is going to read this anyways I am still going to write it because she is as much part in my life or more than he is. They went through a really strong break-up. He called me or something and all he said over the phone was, "I can't talk to you or see you and Danny ever again." Obviously, I was overtly confused at his calling and saying it because I rarely called him. I never communicated and tried not to ask for anything unless I really needed it. I would try and have it so he would call me of when he wanted to see our son which didn't occur very much. Either way, that call had me puzzled but I didn't care all too much... it was his sort of threats. Later that day he called me and was crying and I was confused because to me he said he wasn't ever going to communicate anymore but he started telling me his life story....
I, then, became his friend. Or what I presumed to be a friend. I could have blown him off and said, "You know what I don't care what is happening to you, Drop Dead!" But, I didn't... I let him talk... he spoke forever and told me the same things over and over and over... I think most friends would have slapped him and told him, "Get a grip of yourself!" What the fuck are you doing?" He felt he lost the world and his heart was broken to a million pieces... Sadly, I thought this would make me happy at first seeing him go through what he made me go through...The exactly same feelings. But, I felt bad for him so I started counseling him so he can get better. He would have the nerve to ask me... How did you get through this... And all I would be able to response would be, "TIME." One day he was at work or something like that and his car was taken away by a tow truck for no tags... well he desperately call me and asked for a ride offering he would pay for my gas. Now I realize I should have said no but I couldn't be that mean when a person was in need. It's not in my nature to refuse help. I would start waking up at 5:30a be at his house by 6:15a when he had work at 6:45 and be at his house at 5:45 when he worked at 6:15... Sure I tried not to complain but he would complain about my driving if I wasn't going faster than 75 or if a red light stopped me... yeah like I could predict them right? I even started taking my baby so he can see him because he wouldn't see him unless I had him in the car... Fact... It felt like it was my responsibility to have them there together for him to see the baby otherwise it was my fault because I didn't bring him... my fault? Was it my fault.... or because he was depress he just couldn't handle seeing his baby...
Let's see I went through post-partum depression... I was still there for my baby all night. I was a full time student with part time job and a full time mommy job.... I had to make it all work and here he was trying to quit his job just so he can sleep all day... I told him not to throw his life away; he still had 2 sons to think of and should motivate him but he didn't care; only cared about her...
I honestly believe that a guy will love more his lady than his kids. He may say he does but just as he once told me. You have those feelings for the kids because they grew inside of you. We don’t get any connection until they are old enough. Well, Let’s see we don’t’ talk firstly, secondly as of now he wont see or son so how does a father step into play when he never belonged or try to corresponded to his son?
DRAMA...
and well yeah I guess in a sense it may be true because of different circumstances but lucky for them when that is true they disregard everything and move on like any normal person does. There are no ties and therefore visitations are very unlikely. Clarify, for the most time....
Well... What happens when your ex is your "baby's daddy" or "baby's momma"? What is it called then?
There is the word again Drama.... why is it that every time a mother wants her kids to see their father, he just disregards it as nothing. Sure they may believe... well I don't have time now but I will eventually... yeah when? When he's ten and is busy himself. Better yet why can't friendship work both ways? Or why does it only work one way?
Personal experience:
Well about a year ago and a half ago, April 2006 ... I was not a friend with my son's father that much we would talk here and there but that was it. We would have hard times but we both knew there was no re-kindling of emotions. Well knowing his wife is going to read this anyways I am still going to write it because she is as much part in my life or more than he is. They went through a really strong break-up. He called me or something and all he said over the phone was, "I can't talk to you or see you and Danny ever again." Obviously, I was overtly confused at his calling and saying it because I rarely called him. I never communicated and tried not to ask for anything unless I really needed it. I would try and have it so he would call me of when he wanted to see our son which didn't occur very much. Either way, that call had me puzzled but I didn't care all too much... it was his sort of threats. Later that day he called me and was crying and I was confused because to me he said he wasn't ever going to communicate anymore but he started telling me his life story....
I, then, became his friend. Or what I presumed to be a friend. I could have blown him off and said, "You know what I don't care what is happening to you, Drop Dead!" But, I didn't... I let him talk... he spoke forever and told me the same things over and over and over... I think most friends would have slapped him and told him, "Get a grip of yourself!" What the fuck are you doing?" He felt he lost the world and his heart was broken to a million pieces... Sadly, I thought this would make me happy at first seeing him go through what he made me go through...The exactly same feelings. But, I felt bad for him so I started counseling him so he can get better. He would have the nerve to ask me... How did you get through this... And all I would be able to response would be, "TIME." One day he was at work or something like that and his car was taken away by a tow truck for no tags... well he desperately call me and asked for a ride offering he would pay for my gas. Now I realize I should have said no but I couldn't be that mean when a person was in need. It's not in my nature to refuse help. I would start waking up at 5:30a be at his house by 6:15a when he had work at 6:45 and be at his house at 5:45 when he worked at 6:15... Sure I tried not to complain but he would complain about my driving if I wasn't going faster than 75 or if a red light stopped me... yeah like I could predict them right? I even started taking my baby so he can see him because he wouldn't see him unless I had him in the car... Fact... It felt like it was my responsibility to have them there together for him to see the baby otherwise it was my fault because I didn't bring him... my fault? Was it my fault.... or because he was depress he just couldn't handle seeing his baby...
Let's see I went through post-partum depression... I was still there for my baby all night. I was a full time student with part time job and a full time mommy job.... I had to make it all work and here he was trying to quit his job just so he can sleep all day... I told him not to throw his life away; he still had 2 sons to think of and should motivate him but he didn't care; only cared about her...
I honestly believe that a guy will love more his lady than his kids. He may say he does but just as he once told me. You have those feelings for the kids because they grew inside of you. We don’t get any connection until they are old enough. Well, Let’s see we don’t’ talk firstly, secondly as of now he wont see or son so how does a father step into play when he never belonged or try to corresponded to his son?
We are drama, right? Now, this is drama because we allow them to see their children. Who then becomes the drama when the dads neither are then nor allowed to see their kids? Let me tell you for a while I didn’t want him to see my boy, why? Well, because my parents forbid it. Yes they did. So during those moments he would have his mother call ask for permission, or even his girlfriend… Tell me is that a nice way to ask? Have someone else tell your baby’s mother that he wants to see his son. No balls, (guts!), to do his own job… besides I had a feeling it was a pressure that his mom or girlfriend (now wife) created. Who starts the drama then? They do… They hate it when we put guidelines but the moment they have the freedom to do what they please they don’t do it because it’s too easy. They love the thrill I’m not being able to do something… Isn’t that in itself Drama?
Yeah, that’s Drama…
Let me create a little drama then. If I please… he left to boot camp last February. I said fine. Which meant I couldn’t ask him for things the baby needed because I had to sign a waiver, right? I mean he barely gave me anything and I didn’t put child support on him because I am a nice person. Well because I knew he would fuck up and blamed me for doing so, typical. Can’t take responsibilities on his own hands it’s on everybody else. Well he came back in May and saw my son for 20 minutes one day and for a sec the next. And I mean literally. I think he saw him once more in august and I asked him mother to baby sit Danny for me so he got to see him once more but other than that… he has not even taken the liberty to ask to see him. I have send him random texts where the baby has needs and well he sends his wife which I don’t mind because she is my friend but here are my parents saying oh well he never sees him. And I just tell them… well maybe he’s working or something, I don’t know. Working, well possibly but only he, his wife and God knows what he does. I don’t get as mad that he doesn’t come around I gave up fighting on that subject myself. Why, fight right? I let things be my son gets what he needs and every once in a while gets to spend time with his half brother when his wife and I spend some time together but what’s going to happen when my son starts asking questions. That is what I am dreading the most. The questions… What am I going to say? Will he be old enough to understand the truth… Will he tell him? Will there be tension? You know the drama that life sometimes causes on its own…
Drama
Drama
Drama
Funny how life works…
Oh and I had most of this written since august but didn’t have time to get around to it. I know I for some things but hey sometimes keeping it simple stupid gets a little more to the point… Although I realize this is a little long…hahaha!
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