The good news for me, I guess, can be that I am not having the worst day of my life. Although a few minutes ago before I started writing I realize that I have a weird feeling. Almost and uneasy feeling, but I don't know why. I mean it's not like I could have been for Santa Claus. This year I was only bad for a 1/4 of the year and was good the rest. I mean that is better than I can ever say for the rest of my life. And well this year I've been better I didn't get anything at all... is the first year I don't complain about not getting anything. It's weird but it feels as though in my whole household we realized there is more in the holidays than just receiving and not being able to give away.  So, that uneasy feeling, who knows what it can be... It's not like anybody can tell me either because it's all just peraonlized feeling that no one else is ever aware of but my self.  I live a very secluded life of my feeling and emotions. Well the only ones that get a touch of what I feel and think are those who read here other than that I keep everything to my self. We never talk about anything around here. We all have too much in our minds to even have time to think of what everybody else thinking or we're just too bored to even think. It's just stupidity but it's the truth.