So I finally got to speak to a friend Maria after years...we caught up in life and we're in the same boat somehow. Well same but different. She has a child like I do... came back from Iraq and got married but now is unhappily married and well you know where that leads... She actually wants to finish school so she can go and become and officer for the Marines but she is still deciding since it would mean she would have to leave her daughter behind for a year.
Anyways, we were talking a little of the past. More so of how there was a guy in our pasts who then we really didn't know who they were (well we did know them but in the sense of how much they meant to us) but they liked us and well with our insecurities of shit happening in our lives during those moments we didn't come to realize how much they actually meant to us. Now, and we're both talking and learning this about each other... now we realize that everything that we were seeking in a man is there in that one guy we just didn't give a chance to which regrettably is too late. But we don't lose hope but more than likely if our trying to reach out in a way isn't enough then all we can do is keep moving forward and trying dating a schmuck that stands us up... idk...
I think that for she and I we both had to learn a little more about life, patience, understanding, love to understand that we were blind back then to let them go so easily but if we both would have dated those guys then we sadly would have probably not understood their worth and maybe even broken their hearts. We both may have to some degree devastated them but I think that that's a lot better than if we would have actually messed with their heart. We were too young at that moment to understand all the crap that we had in our own lives much less give attention to theirs.
Sometimes sadly, we get in the same page as a person the moment they move on to the next one. And well life always keeps moving forward. Just because we have these guys we think of constantly or wonder how they are... doesn't mean our lives stop going. We just need to keep going until either our paths cross again and if they don't there will be someone with those great qualities somewhere else.
Just as they didn't wait and life just kept going, I think we both have one child and we deserve happiness too... we can't expect someone to love and take us in so easily but we all have a long life...well at least we hope.
Only God knows and He will guide us unto happiness.. It's just a matter of 2 people being on the same level at the same time. It doesn't always happen but it happens more often than we realize. I haven't been on the same page with anyone for most of my life... I think I just give it a try and see what God gives me to choose from... I need to test the waters anyways... But in the back of my mind ... he is still my first thought and sometimes the last one... but life is weird... It's not like I can directly tell anyone that, they would think psycho.. jk but sometimes things get weird... If he has never felt like I do then I prefer a nice friendship for life ... life is simple; we're the only ones who complicate it so much.
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