I realize I did try... why did I lie to my self...

And I was going to try today but then I started thinking... He did innitiate at the beginning and never at  one point did I make  him feel bad ... all I did was give him hope and still manage to  keep it going. I  did everything in my power to try and see him and he cancelled twice on me and left me hanging on the third. Last week a rescheduled my schedule so I could have seen him. I think I've done more than enough of my share to see him and made my part equal... Sure I don't send him a text everyday but just as he would tell me he was thinking about me I would do  the same. The whole weekend he didnt speak to me last time he was in a rave and flirting with some chicks on fb but I didn't care... he can do what  ever for now...  or they were flirting with him... idk idc...

So last night I send him a a message and asked how his say was "busy" great can you elaborate... right...
So I told him to have a good night and sweet dreams... "k" ... nice... So happy he couldn't shorted those words out anymore...

I do get tired of bs... I'm not going to send him anything... if he wants to then maybe I'll be here just like I was 2 &1/2 yrs later...if not... I will not say I didn't try... I thought I didn't put in enough effort but you know what I did...it's just that I accuse my self of  not doing enough when I do try... I at least deserve the credit.... don't care about the title... Don't care about the sex...I don't care about anything... I think we all have feelings and it's only right if their mutual and if they're  not oh well move on and life goes on...at this point there is no need for tears for nothing that hasn't been...  Had my shares of let downs but nothing can impact me as long as I don't let it to...

If you want... let's play again... if you're done with what you wanted to get... Game over... 

I wanted somebody to be connected to and someone that would be able to please me as well... I can find people who can please me without the connect but I don't want that... then I have to really do odd things... life should be this difficult but we make it so...