My greatest fear

My greatest fear
Grew within me
You would never imagine what I had to hear

It was May first
And there were just moments
When I just needed to burst
My greatest fear
Grew within me

The constant biquering and screaming
Kept me at a low
I cried every hour of everyday
A few few as my burden grew

It was a secret
One, which slowly killed me
A secret, no one was suppose to know
One, which was to be kept away from
Family
Friends
The father
And many more

My greatest fear
You brought conflict
Controversy
And many say a stupid statistic
Was I not to graduate...

My greatest fear
Grew within me

Everyday I wanted to run away
I wanted to hide! 

As I tried to get away
I could only wobble through those green meadows
slowly, as I dealt with my lonely pain

You grew within
I had my doubts but 
you grew within
I knew I would be alone
But you grew within
I know I wouldn't be able to give it all to you
But you grew within
I knew you would have no father
But you grew within

You grew within and
You kept growing
Nothing stopped you from growing

My greatest fear,
Here you are!
You still grow but no longer within
But alongside
My greatest fear
My pride
My joy
My happiness
My love
My boy!




I wrote this years a few years back.... I only wrote some stuff in between High School and the first couple of years my son was born.... I have no style and I am not writer but I use to have huge emotional issues... Which some writing helped ...