This is me thinking out loud and it so happens that I'm writing it down... I know I've have probably written about it sometime in the past but not like any of you existed to me to know about it anyways...
*I'll be talking a little on religion as it affects me in a sense so if you don't care... don't read... it's just personal....* may be rambling or venting or just whatever
So, I've grown up being a Catholic my whole life and sure I've had my moments where I just didn't want to believe or wanted to accept... mainly I think I wanted to be a deists(for simple) but out of respect to my parents and the fact that I was too painfully shy or submissive to stand up to what I believed I stayed.There were times were I almost opted out like in college... so I didn't go all wild n out but I had my moments... I've always been pretty reserved except for the person who truly means a lot to me (and I don't mean this as in friendship as in more).But, Some how even in college when I wanted to stay away ... and I was pregnant and felt disgraced and not worthy of even entering a church my friend ( who happens to be my son's Godfather) encouragement me to go ... so I would go with him... Sunday morning... a nice start to a very boring and usually a day full of practicing or homework... but so hard to wake up from after a party the night before... (well didn't party once pregnant but the fact that he was there to encourage before and during)
Anyways, I'm so off topic...
I was thinking of love and someday (you know!) the possibility of getting married
And sure I've gone through my ups and downs with my religion but I guess it has made me who I am at the end. I starting having more faith and hope when things were looking at their worst. There were moments where I was falling apart and I prayed and you know what... my questions and prayers answered. In, a discrete way but they were... and you know what that same day some times...
....Say you don't believe, say it was a coincidence but it sure helped me be more of a believer... God knows I am flawed and human but whatever... but that's the best part...
I have taken my sacraments seriously... My family and my aunts tell me I shouldn't find someone who belongs to a different religion... like love has anything to do with choosing... I know that my aunt who said that, it's one of her main issues... her husband who doesn't decide which christian base church he likes... instability... (that's his whole definition)... I allowed to give me her advice but we cannot control what life puts in front of us as a partner or who we love. I have also seen couples who have made it... I wont compromise to when it comes to my religion. (ok I know that sounds like a relationship chaos but I don't think so) This is what I think... (and without leaving my religions) I will always respect what ever yours may be... and would never expect you to give up yours either... I mean I know how devout people can be specially growing up with it.. I mean it's been most of your life...
Now you're asking, "How is this suppose to work then?"
I've always been an honest person as much as I possibly can... I hate lies and would hate being lied to...
So, I've always thought myself to be a pretty compromising person but wont give up what I believe... (I'm very stubborn -if I really don't want to do something I wont do it, or do it unhappily)
Ok, this is my compromise... If it goes to marriage... I will not marry just according to the law... (to me, even if I marry here under my religion it won't be recognized) and I want to be able to do communion. And if we just live together it's the same thing... The value... is doing it right way in my eyes. And depending on your religion (if you're not catholic, or none practicing, or a catholic missing sacraments) ... For me, You would have to of course to the necessary to be able to marry me under my church... but it might be worth time... but that's not all I am saying either... I don't ask you give without having anything in return. I would do the same for you if you religion means so much for you....
See, I know this may seem like a lot... but to be honest if you're not willing to make sacrificed for a person who you love and might spend the rest of your life then what's the point...
Another thing, just a court marriage since it's not religion affiliated it means a little less (to me not others) so divorce is so much more easily even though it's still legal... but since it's not recognized in my church it's such as easy as being active in the church. See I believe marriage is forever.... and in our church even a divorce means you're married... you never can get married again in the Catholic belief (unless its annulled or death do you part but annulled has to be approved from the Vatican)....
So that's my take.... pretty easily complicated but a lot easier than trying to convert a person ... Although, I mean there are so many discussions people have but marrying under my religion is non-negotiable... and kids... hahaha well that's another long discussion, not like this has been lightly...
Anyways, I'm done talking about nothing....
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