My Student Loans

This year in May with be 4 years since I graduated from College. I went to University of Redlands and I went for a passion I had, Music. I have my B.A. in Music and guess what? Jobless... *sigh* You see, I ended up pregnant and had a baby mid-year of my junior year. Crazy, right? Well 2nd semester started the day my son turned 1 month... now to make up- finals and well take some classes over. I worked my a** and finished everything I had to. I was active in a Music Fraternity for Women, Sigma Alpha Iota. Took some time off because obviously I did had all my full classes, I worked on campus and not to mention a new born. Let's just say for a year and a half until I finished school I slept an average of 3 hours... Once I was home a juggling between a baby, and homework... You have sympathy... Nah, I didn't think so. You're right it was my fault completely. If I would have been responsible I wouldn't have been in such a predicament... I surely learned from that. I was completely alone... The fam that was helping me... would yell at me all night as soon as I got home, my friends distant because I didn't have the time to see them as much, and my sister well I just didn't have the time... I would sometimes go to the library alone and sit in the back of the second floor and fall asleep for a while... I learned to isolate myself and learn comfort within myself. Well, the semester before I graduated... I became active in my frat again and got a lil sis, I wasn't going to graduate before having someone to pass down my family letters and so on and so forth.... yeah well now, I was juggling school, works, a toddler (one yr old), my sisters, and hey let's add a senior recital to this... I burnt out... To be honest I didn't even want to walk on graduation day... I sucked it up and did it for my family! I just wanted out ... worst thing I wished... Once I graduated I finally started to enjoy from free time I had never had in my life. I need to veg out and breath for a minute and think... As the 6 months were nearly approaching I started learning frantically for a job... went to agencies... I worked as a clerk in the school admissions office I thought maybe that would help. And it did but no one was hiring... in fact people were being laid off... I got worried.... then I deferred and deferred my loans... and at one point they just started telling me I didn't want to pay ... I hate confrontation ... and so I got depressed. A graduate, jobless, with a hefty debt on my shoulders... no encouragement... and we were in need... dad jobless... everything was wrong.... I had no were to turn...
2008 came along...  there was times where I made a few payments but they wanted to charge me $1000 a month where was I going to get that kind of money?  I would try and then at not being able to meet their expectations I would fall hard in dep. mode... July 2008... my mom had a huge accident. I was there, I helped her and made sure my son was careful with her. My job was to take her to doctors... and the worst part was they discovered a brain tumor... 2009 she was finally getting better and starting to heal and apparently symptoms started to show up... 2010 she had brain surgery and we moved to Apple valley... And there were more doctor's appointments and going everywhere... It was my responsibility to make sure everything was going ok. I'm not going to say this was easy... but by now it had been 3+ with a job and not to talk about school loans... I changed my number because the thought overwhelmed me. I'm going to say that I don't care about my debt... I have it and I will pay it, I've never been irresponsible but life sometimes throws curbs at us... They garnish fine I'm ok... 7 years to clear up credit after I pay I'm up for it... anything ... I am now in the position after so long where I can look for jobs and make sure I can make it without my mom needing me so Doctor appointments. At the end of 2010... I tried for minimum wage and even restaurants that I had sworn I would never go back to... but did it anyways, necessity was more important... Applied to over 10 and nothing... I applied to a few clerical positions and nothing. I was teaching a few lessons but my paying for gas was out weighing the income I was making, not good!! Yesterday as I was teaching a lesson I received a call... I didn't know too much of it or think too much... but the loan people finally found my number...  And you know what I was somewhat interested in hearing what they had to say... the lady told me she had to close my account yesterday but I was teaching and busy so I couldn't take the call... asked her to call me. And thankfully she did today...
I don't know if I'm gullible but I truly hope I did the right thing... She talked of some loans I have for $30,000 as far as I know I have 42,00 plus interests and blah blah blah...
So, she asked me questions and well we did a hardship application... she was the first person to understand the situation. Everybody else assumes I'm lazy and I don't wanna yeah. Sure think that but that also means I can't get anything else or qualify for anything... I really want that. Well, I assume there are people but times are hard...
And it even seems like this year I dont get a district stipend because I couldn't finish the requirements either... all my money went to gas... and even though they weren't too expensive I just don't make ends meet enough to get it. :( I know it sucks... Not getting paid... makes me a lil sad of massing out on something that I've worked for but oh well ...
Anyways, with this Application I got... not a bad deal four payments of $10 in the next 4 consecutive months...
it will:
1. Collection activity will stop
2. Loans will show on credit report as good standing
3. will No longer be subject to involuntary action
4. I will be able to request Title 4 to be restored, which means I can go back to school... YAY!!!
I know after so much debt who wants to go to school but I put in 2 years and I can have another 4 yr degree... and then my teaching credential and who knows maybe eventually a Masters in Business, or Education, or in School Administration...
Anyways, I had been thinking of my school loans for a while and kind of glad they called. Hopefully this is for the best and I can finally find a job and if possible move to a place where there are jobs so this debt will be over with and keep working. And, continue with my life. oh and  buy clothes... lol (it's been years)