A letter (R)

My dear,
I know I am not perfect or will ever be near. And this has forever been my longest fear. I go through my moments of isolation and maybe it's my fault or maybe it's my personality, it's not clear. Can't blame others but myself. When you've spoken to me I felt so different, so close, it's like you've known me, and you feel so near. Can't say life is perfect, it's more like perfectly imperfect like I am, it's the way life has helped me steer. You explained "love at first sight" which I have always thought impossible, but you caught my ear. We both exclaim "love is illogical" but sometimes even to that we don't agree. Then you had me listen to "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt, and it brought me to tears.... let's just say we agree -you're a lil blunt. Not that you've ever made it seem bad, I want you to know that my dear.
This I am: Smart-dumb, pretty-ugly, good with money- bad with money, selfish-selfless,  motherly-tyrant, analytical-open... and probably many more, let's just say it's where I lived in my closed sphere. I am who I am and I think you know that by now, you've make that clear. Sometimes, it's been a bit disappointing but can't say a push or need for something "more" is bad. I am quite fond of you. That's what I want you to hear. And I am quite stubborn at times but you're so much more stubborn... geez! And, this was where the words made a smear. A fight or argument is nice to have... at least the whole sweet lovey-dovey doesn't quite blind from what reality is. You sleep and.... I try, but don't, I sometimes feel like I waste my time, I hate myself every morning though. But, I would be willing to be up no matter what for you.
You love trees, and I love the breeze maybe hand in hand we can walk and go where ever we please.
No one in life will ever be perfect. We have figured that out from the beginning or it would have been a quick fail. You know my story, yes a little boring full of pain but it seems like time just flies when we speak. But, I just don't want you to feel/think I'm frail. I want to know more, and more as the days pass. I enjoy your selection in music and I know you like some of mine. It's a start to the perfect trail. You appreciate the art that comes with combining two different areas of expertise. You amaze me with everything; you've gone through so much in life and you continue-- a true admiration, and respect,  I hold. It's like you've set your perfect life sail. The bond with your family, beautiful. Though I know, nothing is perfect but other times life just fits perfect, maybe it's your point of view as a male. There will we be times where personalities are bound to clash. I guess when it comes to love, you should always be willing to come to a middle ground and compromise. That is where we must not fail.
I know I had a high wall but it wasn't my intent to hurt. But, once it was brought down, like a child with grape juice and a new white carpet, something was bound to happen. Never said it was bad or good but your cautions brings a distance even more so than the physical one. I am just being sincere. I here remain, it's ok. I know your fear.  I can't blame you. I love it where I'm at and have the desire to move forward with that I'm set. It is clear? I will do what I have to, to show, but now like you said it's not about only one showing, it's about letting go of fear. "I would love to believe" but....  Show me and don't leave me hanging... At the end it will be a grand cheer!
Bit by bit is how these wings will spread... You know you want to soar in the sky... it's the only way to get ahead and fly!
I hope I made this perfectly clear, dear!
ReyRey

P.S. Listen here! First time I heard this song a few min ago from another xangan and she let me use it. =D

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