Ideal weight I have never had it but I sure know that I want it... What am I doing to better myself is better eating smaller portions and more exercise than I have ever done in my life. It is hard but for once in my life I want something different. I want to be happy with me... I want to see myself in the way I want others to see me... I want to love me for me and not expect someone else to love me and myself not be able to tolerate the sight of me in the mirror. Since I was young, I've had a weight problem... and since I was little i've been self conscience... And I never understood what was wrong with me but it wasn't always the eating it later became a disorder when I became depressed at a really young age of like 11-12... I think that if then when I was depressed and learned with the help of people I think I could have been better now. But then nobody talked about those things and I was isolated well they ignored kids issues and hoped we go over our shit but for me it didn't happen. So now after half of my life dealing with all those issues I want to fix them before I get to thirty or before I fuck them up and end up pregnant again... which would suck! So yeah, healthier eating, exercise, positive thinking and trying to think stress free... don't get me wrong I am currently fighting being depressed and I don't know why... but I am trying not to be but I know I am prone since most of my life has been depression but I would like to think it's not true and that I can fight it. I am hoping that once I am happy with me and happily in love (but not depending on someone else for happiness) I might reach my goals of not dealing with depression.
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