So is everybody really getting married now. Or they're living somewhat happily miserable lives but with their loved one... I think I am broken and unfix-able.. am I not meant to be with a good person or am I meant to be single.Will I ever meet a person like the one I just had... He was something else. Sure he had a few flaws but over look-able in my opinion... I just liked everything he was. I hate talking about this always because I feel lonely. Or I make myself feel desperate. I can't deny the warning signs weren't there. I ignored them and tried to make up excuses... it's not like we ended really badly bc we talked through it. I see his point of view and he is right... iin many ways... I just wished for more like a lil girl with a huge crush or puppy love
See he had tried fixing my car and just couldn't and he left my house at 3am... I think I started talking to him at 3:45 approx not exact... but this was the real convo...
See he had tried fixing my car and just couldn't and he left my house at 3am... I think I started talking to him at 3:45 approx not exact... but this was the real convo...
Me : You sure made me feel a lil like shit tonight.
t: I'm sorry. It is my fault.
m: for what?
m: You didn't do anything... (because this was the reason I was mad to begin with, I wanted to give him a kiss and he said he couldn't so I got mad and walked away)
m: Its just hard sometimes... reading you...
m: It feels like you don't want to me to read you or sometimes know who you are
m: you hide within your mystery and keep me out...
t: There is no mystery.
m: well maybe mystery is wrong word
m: It feels like Im blindfolded...
m: And sometimes I just feel as though you just want me to stay far away
m: You know you can tell me if that's the case...
m: things are tough on everyone... we're all stressed i know...
t: That's why its my fault. I haven't talked to u.
m: But, all I want to know is if there is hope...
t: That's not the case.
m: I know why you haven't talked you're busy... I understand...
t: Hope? For what?
m: Hope as in you and me... in a sense
m: So being busy and stress isn't the case? Then what is?
t: The case is I do care about u. Obviously u seen tonight
m: but...
tony: You already know. But how u handle this will show me if u can respect what we do have or not.
t: And if u don't. I understand as well. U feel hurt.
m: What do you mean I already know...
t: Misled
m: I do feel hurt att times... but that's I actually wanted to talk about it...
m: I don't want to feel misled... especially with everything you told me at the beginning...
m: I've trussted and believed everything you have said...
m: I don't see you as a bad guy but I do always expect the truth...
t: It wasn't a lie or misleading.
t: Everything I have said is me.
m: But what you're saying is that we're friends
t: I don't see anything devolping more than just a friendship between us.
m: okay I understand that
m: and that's what I wanted to know from you
t: Yes. And I'm sorry if I am hurting u. Truely.
m: no darling it's fine... you didn't hurt me
t: Really?
m: I hurt myself
m: but you didn't
t: Don't beat yourself up about it.
m: it just makes more sense... I am not...
m: don't worry about me... A true friend is someone you can trust... and I've really learned to trust you...
t: I am here for u though. U are one of my friend.
m: But, how far back did you realize this...?
m: thanks darling! It means a lot!
t: L.a. when I realize I want to move back.
m: But why would that stop it from wrking out?
m: Moving back...
t: I told u I wanted to move back. Like when I first started working for universal
m: I know I told you I was stuck... and yea I see how that is a burden... I understand... beside you have barely obtained
m: freedom why loose it
m: Oh I know you said you wanted to move back... I didn't see a problem with that... but I don't see how that was an issue for u and me
m: if that's what you're saying
t: Don't think like that. Burden is a nasty word. And that's not the reason
t : I thought about danny and u.
m: it was the sex... huh
tony: I wouldn't be fair to either one of us 3
m: Please clarify...
m: well ok I know you care about me... and dont see things moving forward bc you want to live in LA...
t : Trust me. I thought very deeply about it.
m: BUt let me ask you something...
m: What do you feel for me?
t I'm not that type of guy. And u know it! Can't believe u even asked that.
t : Judt a friendship. I know that for sure.
m: I am not telling you to disregard my son
m: or that I would leave him in any way...
m: I don't know what type of guy you're thinking that Iwas thinking
m: I know you think in whole not partial...
m: I can tell the way you are...
t : I wouldn't want to raise my children in the city! That's what I mean!
m: A friendship is good for me... and I hope you read that note I posted up for all of my friend
m: Ok, that's goood to know... Kids don't belong in the city... it's the worse life ever...
t : Note?
m: on facebook
m: it tagged all my close friends
t : Like I said. I put a lot of thoughts about it.
m: yea, I know it's been something that's been on my mind for a long time too...
m: debating... trying to figure things out...
m: confusions...
m: Then for a while just thought it was bc you were so busy
m: but then you justt didn't want to see me... so I started getting the picture but refused for a while
t : We even worry or stress about something if we both know its not going to work out. This way everybody wins and no one loses
m: lol...
m: darling you and I both saw different pictures...
m: on something painted a different picture.
:
m: but you're right... Just as my ex... we're far better friends than we would have been as partners..
m: With him... I trully and I am being honest, I would have killed myself
m: if he were my spouce
m: thank you for clarifying everything
t : That's sad.but can't cry over spilled milk
m: lol...
m: yea, you're right
m: I am a far better friend... lol
t : I feel much better. Thank u for being u
m: lol, thanks... and you too!
t : I need some sleep. Text me later.
m:Reyna Flores: I am very good at easing ... smooth transitions
tony::)
m: ok
m: I will, I ned to get ready alreayd
t : Morning. (he put good morning since it was already 5am and I was starting to get ready to start my day and that's how we ended... pretty much how we started saying saying good morning to each to each other)
m: good morning!
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