So my parents are going to go see what's going to happen... and I don't want to go... not today. I need to finish packing my things so I at least feel that little freedom. I packed all of our cups and plates well the ones that can break at least. That's a little bit of less pressure to think about but time is flying and nobody is doing anything. I keep insisting but it seems as if everybody is living in fucking lala land and nothing is going to happen. Me, saying that has made me think. It's weird because I was always one to live in this dream/fantasy world which was, I guess, a way to cope with many things but in the last I have grown up even more. I have become a realist. I have realized that even those guys I used to trust as my closest of friends... I cannot see them that way. It's almost as I see them as their true colors which sucks because I use to protect them so much or I at least protected my eyes. It's as though as I keep moving forward things are becoming clear and there is not one person who is really deserving of trust. When you trust some one you're going to get hurt and I see that now. And, the sad thing is that I almost wish that no one does trust me... well I am a trust worthy person and a great friend but I really don't want that type of commitment. I don't know why...it's not as though I  don't have good friends but aquaintances are even better.

Well I 'll continue this later...