So at least we're packing away. I think I am almost done with my room. Geez who knew I had so junk... Sometimes I think if I had someone to share life it would be hard. It's so interesting how I have gotten so use to my spare time and doing what ever the f*** I want.  I don't know I have gotten a bit more selfish and I tend to what and do as I please which as a single person it's great, no? I mean it's hard enough having a son and I am kind of happy I do because I am so pre-occupied I don't think of all this loneliness I use to feel. I am too busy to feel anything. Although it was weird because last night I had a burst of tears for no reason at all. It was quite puzzling but I waited until I was able to sleep which was like around 1:30 and I woke up so tired... I didn't want to get up.  Although today I still feel a little tired but I guess that is normal. So today we received another person about being evicted...yippe, right? So, at least my dad was here to receive it and then he called me but what could I do? Nothing. So, I told him to call the 2 two to tell them but he said no. And well that upset me because if they promised to let us stay here until the 15th and what if we get kicked out before.... you know that wouldn't be fair... I told him to stop being so stubborn and he said I was stubborn and I asked him how. It didn't even make sense.  I am beginning to be a little stubborn but only because I think a lot of things are stupid and I can't deal with some stupid crap or mistakes. It's weird because I am beginning to see my father to be a little weaker and depend on us a little more which upsets me... I started wondering today how I am suppose to rely on a man when I find one when as of now I have only seen them rely on me everytime. I have had to do everything they need and that is stupid now that I think about it. I am better off by my self than having more rely on me. I guess in a way as much as I am submissive and I kind of always have had control but never really known how to use it or I am controlled to doing it all. I am way too nice. It's interesting because it's hard for me to say no when I am helping someone or someone asks for my help. I tend to try people instead of having to say no... I guess it's a bad habit I am starting to try and get over. I need to say, NO!... leave me alone, that'll teach 'em right? I don't think some will learn but I haver learn to get my way more often... I kind of feel like I have more power in a sense, I can't explain but sometimes I feel invinsible... is that weird? I think so... I am not sure. But, sometimes it feels like I can do anything and I will be fine... Maybe I had just learned to be more confidant... I am just rambling... well I'll stop since I have nothing left for right now...