Actually, the funny thing is that everything has changed completely in my life... I mean I think they're not that actively noticeable but they're there. I have regained confidence in myself thanks to someone. I manage to become a better version of me. I've started caring more of me and who I am and eating better and exercising so I can even look better. I have stopped some bad habits that use to control and rule me. I feel life in a different perspective. I don't trust people easily anymore though. I was always one to be trusting. And it's not everybody but so far most of the men I have allowed to get closer to me in a sense have somewhat left me hanging, not all but have managed to disappoint me in a way. I still think there is hope but rather than trust first I think it's time they gain my trust. Life has never been easy but why am I going to complicate my life more than I need to. I am starting to get on my feet... it's taking some time... but I am actively looking to better my lifestyle in every single way. I was told a couple weeks back that I need to set my priorities straight and he's right. It was time for another focus and time for change. I think my life can finally start moving forward in a difference direction but a happy one. I am realizing that I don't think the love, or acceptance of a male figure to be happy because I can make myself happy. As long as I am optimistic and keep my self motivated I can be a happy person and live a life of fulfillment for my self and my son.
A year ago I was a wreck... 2 years ago...I was going insane... 3 years ago... I was barely falling apart. Most people don't know who I am or how I am or the type of struggle I face. The challenges I take seem to overcome me and it's sometimes a little hard to explain. But for those same reasons I understand why people have failed me ... or more so I failed them... I say they failed me because obviously I am trying to keep a special outlook in life and right now is not the time to fall apart. I've had some of the happiest moments in my life the last few months... I will never trade any tears, laughters, special moments, kisses, hugs, lunches, dinners, walks, phone calls, texts, chatting, Skype, nothing..... it's all of who I was to all and who they were to me... *sigh* Life is life and life goes on... and on and on....
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