last sunday

Last Sunday we went to my Aunt's house... And we were there in the afternoon and went to mass... 
We usually go to the San Gabriel Mission while we're there... it was were I  did my first communion and I always had dreams about getting married there but idk anymore... 

This time we couldn't quite make it to the mass there... and the evening mass was going to be too late so we went to another church which is actually closer to my aunt's house... San Antonio Catholic Church. I've never been to much of a fan but it was where my parents got married and it was nice to go...

After that we went for a nice drive... We saw the little thing we use to call a house...the little house next to it my dad built for storing instruments and tools... and drove around for a while. I can't believe how tiny those places are...It's ridiculous... then Drove to the exit where we were leave from elementary... saw the way I use to take home from middle school after I use to part ways with my bff then... it was nice to see it all... As I was driving, I was seeing those life reenactments of the past reoccurring... it was amazing... it was almost as if i was walking a movie in my head... I don't miss living there... but those are a lot of memories I can't let go...

I even saw the corner (which is the same one where my bff and I would part) where I use to have a recurring nightmare/ fantasy.... I can't believe it's been 12 years... I've lived longer out here than I ever there out there...  Those were my moments of innocence... tears... puppy fake love... joy... sadness... and like always loneliness...  I've had it all... It's weird bc it seems like sometimes we just can't get away from all the bad... it follows us forever... and much worse the bad habit of falling for a guy and not being able to let go as easily... Is there an easier way than waiting years to like the next and get over them? f(that part of)ml