It's been weird because towards the afternoon I felt like every time I see anything little thing makes me want to cry. I don't know why but I can't explain it.  I've been really emotional today and no it's not PMS in anyway... And I don't think I am ovulating until my birthday or the day before so why am I having sudden changes in my hormones. I can't explain.These hormones are too much. I don't want to cry and it can't be anything at all there has to be something but what can it be? I just catch  my self as I get that quick sudden need to cry and I hold it.  But with this movie I can't. One of my favorite movies... What Dreams May Come. Ever since I saw the movie, it just became one of those movies that help define that illusion we have about death. I don't know but it's one of my favorite and it's one of those movies you just cannot not cry. I know double negatives but what ever.I guess it's just hard to explain the mood that I am in . Well maybe I am just having this constant fight with myself since last night when Krystal and I had a really long conversation. I told her things that I haven't told any one else and she helped me realize many things even though I already knew them by her mentioning them , I was being helped. And sadly, I see has helped me a lot but just helping me there. I know I need to make this New Year's resolution but am I strong enough. She says I am but I am not yet. I want to be but it's hard. Maybe that's why I am having my own personal issues. It sucks... I mean the year has started well and I happy the way it ended and how it started but it is a new year and I guess it's time to start setting personal goals, getting rid of some bad habits and living a better life after all...