I am starting to feel the pressure again. Yeah, it's mostly from my mom. I guess when I take her to her meetings I don't know what she thinks. I spend a lot of time to take her, and make her happy. I am also doing work there. I am training to do what she wants me to do and it has never been too much what I want. I want a regular job which I kind of have 2 besides thinking about the business part. I have a lot of pressure and there she goes telling me I am doing nothing for myself. I do nothing for my son. I am working on work and tyring to get the money in. It's a little slow but I am tired, I am frustrated, I cried today. Not because of what she said because I care less what she says not it was because I try so hard to make her happy. I am trying to get money so I don't have to depend of them. She doesn't see that. I want to start earning money be on good standing with all my debts and move out. But, this time I am not going to tell her my future plan because I end up being an "ingrate" and you know what I am not. I love them they have done so much for me but she holds me back so much. I don't say that because I don't want to hurt her feelings. I spare her feelings because I feel guilty. I know it's her way of manipulation but I know that if I wait things will get better and we all have to suffer. I have hopes and I see a great future in front of me and I do not want anyone... I truly mean anyone to ruin that vision I have. I don't care if she says I act like a homeless which I don't. So what if we are running really short on money... and I can't buy the baby milk or all his needs. I know this rough time will get better. All I am waiting for is money that is coming. I know it is it's just taking a little longer. And I have to do my taxes which I have to pay for and I can't...

Well I have cooled off a little since I had to make some calls to people in the FLP Corporate Office and other info from people. Although I am already upset that I have gone over my minute limit for the month and it wont be reset until next Wednesday. As of now I am already $32 and some cents over and well since people call me and ask me questions it's a little hard to refrain from answering the phone plus I not home all the time to be using my phone as a pager. Man oh man what an issue. I might have to up my minutes on this phone but it seems as though he might get me a phone to work with but I don't know yet but I am still stuck. Well at least I am happy my plan covers unlimited everything else that I am very much taking advantage of... text, internet, and e-mail, navigator.
Well talking all the people I had to cooled me down a little and made me feel excited about the Rally next week.