So, it's weird because this week I only feel and not in a crying mood... I've been doing a lot of talking and realesing a lot of anger in many different ways....hahaha! I guess kind of like a tea pot... It's weird though I still feel a little lonely even though I am closer to some people. For times in life, we sometimes perceive that some people who are very important to us don't care at all of what we feel but it's not always true. For example, Lately I've been talking a little more to my son's grandmother and it seems as though we think alike. We've been finding out so much about each other to find out that we are very alike in the nature we grew up. I told her things she didn't know and in return as did she. It's like we're trying to figure out who each other is to know why we are who we are... and there is a lot of plain in our childhood...  Ever since when I was dating her son back in the day I always admired her. She always treated me like a daughter and I loved and respected her like one. Well that whole family always treated me so special even when I was off in college and would bring me food and water to sustain so moneyless years... But anyways, this special lady although it's taking her a while I think has began to get in to her grandson's heart. Which I have to say it took a while because he always refused her arms but it's seems as though lately he wants to go visit. He spent the evening with her on friday while they gave me a small break and she told me he was great and didn't even ask for me. I think that is a battle won when he forgets about me and doesn't get sad is more than an accomplishment. It makes me happy I can trust him to be with her without the guilt that he might cry or make it very difficult. I know it's also very important to him because he is now realizing that he has 2 grandmothers and although I was very sad I didn't get to meet her mother... For years, she wanted me to go and meet her since they only knew me by stories or pictures and even more after Danny was born but her unfortunate death also left me crying. Firstly because she was a great lady and I only heard good of her and 2ndly because she was my son's greatgrandmother and had wanted to meet him so much.

Anyways, so for a long time i had a huge up and last week was my first down which wasn't so bad since it had been a while since I felt a little saddened but I look forward to moving up from here. I have been a little hesitant as jobs were hard to find but I am going to start on my search and this time I will not be as picky. My mom started on my case about being at home and I told her about the baby and well she keeps going so oh well I guess we'll deal since the money situation is hard anyways...

Also, I am so happy there might be another way to save our house from being sold but I only hope that it's not too late. I willo be sad if we have to move but at the same time I would be very happy because that means growing up and responsibilities and no more realying on such helpful parents. But I don't I just want them to be ok and having their house so I can get my self my job and well pay off what I need to and even go and move out and stuff. We all would love to have our own space but I know it's not always possible. its' hard enough sharing a room with my sis and poor Danny to have to be in there too... no room and Danny and I sleep on a twin bed together... I mean we sleep ok ... could be more comfortable but we do ok for now until it all gets fixed...