It had been a really long time since I remember smoking a cigarrette but for some odd reason I feels pressure and tension so I said to my self, "hey what the heck...it's your last one anyways." As I sit down in my car and take out the pack I see I have 2 left. Two is not too bad but I guess it is. It's not like I finished all on my own but I have smoked since January more this year than I did the last 3 years. I mean my one pack has one ciggy left. I don't know it it's because of stress of not but I do feel overwhlemed at the moment and I just do not know why. I almost feel like picking up all my stuff and leaving but there is no where to go, and no where to stay. I am so tired of the living situation... not having any privacy, not having my own things, not having a room for me and the baby... I have my own things but they always feel like if anybody feels they just take them. I know I need to do something but I feel I am being held back. I know my parents would just be so upset if one day I tell them well I am moving out. Thanks for everythigs. It almost feels as they exceot me to stay here with them and continue doing eveything the same: Nothing! It sucks because it feels as if it's my responsibility to give everybody rides, do all their bills, letters, calls... I am like a friggin secretary. I wouldn't mind if I was getting paid but my mom wants me to get a job but she is the one holding me back. What do I do? I want  to get one so I can start figuing out the leaving part but I am the one that has to take her to all her Doc appoinments I am the one the deals with all the crap. I don't know maybe once it's all figured out they will learn to deal with their own crap. I am so caught up dealing with theirs that mine is coming secondary and it's still more important to me than they realize. It's so fuckin' stupid.