no one should matter but yourself

When I was young I use to wonder what was wrong with me. I was never the looker and in my opinion I'm still not. or worse I'm less than a looker than I was back in the day. I had my own personal issues I kept to myself and sure like many girls I longed for a special someone.

Like many idiots, we would look at the cute looking guy who was into sports and would never give the time of the day to someone who wasn't popular. I crushed on friends who were nerdy and many girls didn't notice them until suddenly brainy was sexy.

After high school I found out many artsy and sporty people did find me attractive in HS... but of course they never did anything about it.

Anything they were years too late... perspective of men had slowly been molding with interaction of them during the years.







it's what life of many  people is about.

If you don't look the part they'll get you out of their heart(even if there ever was something existing). I believe half of the people conveniently don't have hearts unless it's in their interest. Maybe I'm being presumptuous, maybe not. Truth is truth. Can you tell me the best interest of more men is seeing eye-candy than any other interest in comparison to us Ugly girls who rather have a smart, witty guy.

it's shallow and their right, I suppose.

It actually angers me, pisses me off or what ever you may call it when I hear a guy whine about a chick or girl (or whatever the F*** she is to you or you call her) who wont give him the time of day. See, he may think he's the cream of the crop but just like he is shallow and looking at appearance and how her body looks.... you sir just might not be all she wants. And your whiny-ness makes it worse.

Personality is very important. or maybe how you act or how we see you treat women. I realize we can't tell this the moment we meet you but there are always signs. I'm not the best person with signs but his actions and body language is definitely a defining point.
I had a teacher in high school give us girls as sophomore hs students advice. He said, look at how he treats his sisters and mother and you will know how he will treat you in the long run. I thought it was strange but the more I see men the more I notice their behavior and think of that wise teacher.
There are many nice guys and nice girls who get ruined by the opposite sex and their shallowness. Those who do the damage, do the rejecting end up subconsciously forcing others to change. You wonder why all the good people are gone? Yes/ no/ maybe so? You're probably responsible for converting a nice guy/girl into the thing that you're going to wish you had in the future. But, sadly there are ocassions where some people learn to be that way by the examples of their promiscuous older brothers and fathers/ sisters or mothers. The damage can be done so early in age that the child is naturally prejudice. His perspective damaged even before he had a choice.

Kids learn to act based on how their role models act and sometimes that worries me. People don't choose old fashion role models anymore. The role models come from the media. The media embedding into their little minds how men should  dress, what kind of girls they should be picking, what they should change from their bodies, that surgery is acceptable. That they're born wrong. That they're aren't beautiful.

Basically that everything you have is ugly. It's sad what this world has come to but there are no nice people out there anymore. Everybody competing for everything. Now you see beautiful women with ugly minds and hearts.
All it brings is low self esteem to be able to be manipulable by the whole world and well old men who think they know it all, like the government. They feel we should let them regulate everything and we would be ok.
We should accept that it's okay if we don't get married. It's ok to be safe and have sex. It's ok to have a child and not be shunned by the world and if they do well let them fuck themselves, you don't need them. Life goes on. It's better to be happy than live a miserable life with people who will only bring you down.
Everybody is beautiful the way they are. Stop picking those "bad boys" who call you names and excite you for the moment, it can only get worse from that. Be happy, and share that happiness with those who deserve the best from you not those that treat you like crap and deserve nothing. You should be with a person you deserves you and you deserve him/her.