I been thinking for quite some time... it's so hard picking the dates or specific moment in time. So I remember some of these days like they were today or as if they were happening at this moment but if knowingly I still went back in time I think I would not go back to that band review on November 3rd where everybody expected something or even any of the other event that occur in that. I could very specifically say that I wish that I could go experience the birth of my child which the prior night was very upsetting... so much pressure and why I was "supposedly" so calm. So many things went wrong and although the pains were control I lost myself... so no I would wan't to feel that physical, emotional, and mental pain again... well not with my first born. I don't even want to feel the awkwardness that occured during my mom's birthday on March 12, 2005... 4 people sitting in the couch 2 of which were my parents in complete silence and awkwardness... Nor to I want to return my sis's 15th birthday were so many sspecial people came... or even my 2 graduations where my true accomplishements and guides to a better life started...
Do you know what day I will pick? Well that is the question to answer right... Well let's just say it was the day I started to change as person, one who had finally had the opoortunity to experience what many have or still wanted to have. That is the day the girl with those undeniably sad eyes, who had thought of suicide, started to chnage her prospective on life. The girl with sad eyes had another aura expelling my her being. She was still so curious and more innocent than any other but she was no closer to getting any experience either but it will be one that she will always remember.... Not even the bad, naughty things she has done is her whole life will ever meet to something so simple and sweet.
The day was november 6, 2001...
Still why that day?
Embarressing ... don't' know why but it was the first day I got to see this boy who had been sutering me and I had finally said yes the day before. It was a day, I went to the locker room to put things in my Tenor Sax locker and right before I turn around there someone who gave me a kiss in the back of my head... weird, but stomach butterflies moving.... I turn and there he was with a huge grin and gives me a hug. It was a day where committment was not an issue... where innocence prevailed and there were no expectations... All there was was holding hands and not even kissing... because the first kiss wasn't taken then it was the moment of happiness where just seeing the person or having them touch your hand or even just want to hold it was enough.... there was no yelling, no deception and the only common ground was music. It was 2 days before a kiss happened... why not the day a person receives a kiss? You know why? Although still memorable... a first kiss leads to a second kiss... after they expect more kisses... innocent, right? Well, not really it leads to expectation.
November 6, 2001...
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