With my small insignificant tribulations in life which have all been self provoked (i guess) I cannot blame anyone other than myself. I wasn't a teen mom but I surely speak to teens about motherhood and the how "High school sweethearts" and their interpretation of love can be misleading. We know that probably most kids don't end up with their high school sweethearts, well let me rephrase many do and (I have no stats) but personally many people I've known who've had a sweetheart ended up marrying them and a few years into it, get a divorce. Sad. There is more to marriage (but even adults fail at that so what examples do teens have) Yes, maybe spending more time getting to know yourselves in adulthood or in decision making opportunity might lead to knowing a person better. People change and in our teens we're far too young to understand (well most, not all) and not only that, people are unsure of what to expect and they change their minds too much.
Which leads to being unsteady even in considering bringing a baby into this world. When I was a teen I did think about wanting a baby (in fact my depression led me to want a baby so that I had a baby to pass down from my genes or myself and then I would be able to... you know) but I didn't. I wanted something else in life, I figured. I remember I was threatened once, we were young and he once told me, "I'm going to get you pregnant so that you'll never leave me." Which proves that kids change their minds and thankfully he didn't then.
So, since teen girls sometimes feel lonely they think having a baby will fix that. Many don't realize the responsibility, the change in life and not only that they haven't even had the opportunity to enjoy life and see what's out there. Or even figure themselves out or know what they would like to do with their lives... and they (I wanted) want a baby? Doesn't make sense. In fact, as a teen you're just trapping yourself from the possibility of being successful. She might have the will power to finish high school but she will be burnt out to consider going to college right after. It's doable but it's hard... I only did it for a year and a half (the end part of college) and I was so tired at the end, I didn't want to think of school and I almost didn't want to go to graduation. It's hard work but it's doable. I also saw many girls get pregnant and married during college and they would drop like flies... Wait until after. At least you'll have a degree with that debt.
If you're a mom you know the toll a pregnancy can take on you (the body changes is causes) or if you had a great pregnancy (I know I did well except a lil morning sickness which I controlled even more once I quit my prenatal pills) maybe except for labor but nothing compares to having the baby next to you and waking up every 3 hours. Don't get me wrong babies are cute when they're sleeping. But, every 3 hours.. That's when you'll really see people crying... literally 1. You're sore from having the baby or can't move too much from the c-section. 2.Trying to Breast feed (or crying like me because I couldn't feed my son but if I one day have another I know I will try again) 3. You can't really pee 4. You're exhausted 5. You can't sleep well 6. You have to remind yourself to eat and 7. rest when the baby rests...
Now, there are so many more things ... MOMs want to add to the list??... But this isn't even mentioning your house responsibilities. Taking child to routinely check up... where do you fit this when you're in school? What if you're a single mom... Or if you're in school and you have a bf but he's working. He misses work no money? You miss more than 3 classes in college and you're dropped (well in my private school it was like that, I don't know public school policies) ... What do you do?
I never promote abortions myself, why? I would never get one. When I could have have had one for the given reasons I didn't and it never crossed my mind as an option. Regardless of time a child is a blessing. And I can say he saved my life. But, for the same reason kids need to know of all the responsibilities of having to pay for things and not even knowing how to care for their ownselves. No jobs, living under mommy and daddy and suddenly a baby? How do you do it? You are closing your doors to success at the very moment. Not saying you can't be successful but you're going to have to want it REAL bad. You're going to have to go through hoops, and jump hurdles, it's possible but only up to you!!
Take the easy road: Finish High school, Finish College, start your career (somewhere in there meet your future wife or husband) and once you're both working and paying off debt then consider whatever you want...
Take the easy road... family will happen if you want it but it can wait.
Disclaimer: Easy road doesn't mean obtaining your life goals and dreams will be easy. It just means it's easier than trying with a baby by your side when you're not ready.
Many of us have struggled and learned the hard way for you to take advantage of our advice. Take it, learn from it, and finish school first.
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