talked

Well we've talked about it and as much as it was a painful day... my head is still throbbing and my tooth aches now too... I asked him where the whole situation put us. And well he said that for him it was still the same but he thought that I should know... although he picked a cranky day of his to tell me... :( I asked him if I could trust him and he said yes... so I said that as long as he honest with me and isn't misleading me then we I can support him. It was a tough decision... It's still there... but I am going to do my best to try and forget the situation... oh I'm going to depress my self. We were doing so well... everything was perfect... and  this...

Well he has been calling me all night... so he's being attentive and I am going to see him tomorrow but I am a lil freaked out... I don't know how I am going to react. I mean I am not crazy but things have changed a bit. Although he is supposedly trying to get me a job with his friend (a sort of if I ask I can maybe get) so I can afford to move down... lol... Well at least it's nice that he wants me closer... but with my school loans... I doubt any of the money would be coming to me... it would be going straight to govt. 

But, too into the future. First we have to see if we can get through these complexities... or if I can manage to trust him as much as he is able to be honest. Well the good thing is we're taking things slow... so that gives us time to think... I guess if we're working to make it work right now it might be worth out time... for now we're just talking and it seems like it's a stronger bond but only time can tell... we lead different plans but life is interesting...

Right now, I just have to get through the night...and hopefully sleep... Oh I know I will my eyes are exhausted from a couple days of my own selfish tantrums... trying to fight myself and understand him... but now I know why.... funny though... he was very moody during the day and I pointed it out which was when he told me everything... but he said bc he couldn't sleep.... it was one of the longest nights of my live too... I was tossing and turning.. dreams and I don't know what... I know I didn't wake up last night but I sure did wake up more tired than when I went to sleep. it's very weird but we have this very strange bond... sometimes he just knows what is happening... what I am doing ... or feeling and sometimes I know the same for him...  I think it's too soon to have a bond like that... but idk... 

too much into it... good night... tomorrow better be a  better day!