This morning I go into my mother's room and as I'm ready to open my mouth her phone rings. It's ok, it happens a lot. She gets calls a lot it's part of her business. But, I don't know what it is today. I'm just feeling I don't know what I feel today. I guess a little sad, like last night I felt a little un-noticed for the first time and I didn't know what to think or feel. It just felt something.  routine already. a little disappointed.

I go in to talk to my mom and she's busy again. maybe attention or someone to listen to me, I don't know anymore... I wanted to tell her about about a book the bf left me and I looked into the cpr class I need and the cost.... Once the phone rang I didn't matter anymore.
A couple hours later, I hear her in the kitchen and once again determined I go. And she is still on the phone with the same person. I finally tell her about the class and she says I have the money to do it. So I told her for the misunderstanding with the school district again and not getting my stipend. She said that I could get a lawyer. There's no case for $600-800... they forgot to put I'm staff so no money... I didn't know what I wanted her to say but the more she talked the more I ended up getting upset that she put me second. Maybe I'm being selfish.
She asked why I was upset. So I told her I wasn't upset. So she asked why I was upset at her? I was thinking it and I was going to tell her that she always puts her phone first. I didn't, I couldn't ... I just left. Maybe I'm too hard on everything.

/Clearing my head.

just needed to cry...