I hate this feeling

This year to me has been many things... Started off dull and somewhat interesting but it was mainly full of small constant conflict which then you would think I loved personal drama (personal and in my own) We never expect things to change but they do... In fact this isn't really about the year that has passed, it's gone and we leave the past where it belongs, behind us.
I met this person, I don't know if it was luck or chance but I met this person. He has therein changed so much in my life.

When I met you I was giving up on the whole thing of ever finding someone. Not because I was but because for the first time I started to realize something. I was being too selfish and "I wanted, wanted wanted" what I couldn't have. It was years since someone called me "theirs" and was proud to show it. In fact, that's what I wanted more in life. I slowly started realizing that I was unhappy not with the world because the world doesn't change but with me. I just utterly was repulsed at the sight on my own being why because that's how I felt the world viewed me. I was going through my moments but much better than I have ever been able to handle. I got to the point when I knew that I had to change my point of view not because it mattered but because I as letting my self sink again. My thought process changed and realized the stupid little mistakes and my inflicted self downing was doing to do. I blame myself for somethings I had no control over. That's when I said "F" it to what happened in the past and I'm just moving forward from whatever day I'm on and no looking back. Which is how you found me "bored out of my mind" and I really was. I was on xanga and I was on FB and I talking to people -chatting it up- but bored and until you came on and we talked for hours that day. For me chatting was just chatting and it was the first time I had logged on to that account in a long while. I don't know how it happened after that because it's a small blur but the encounters have all and every single one of them been each much more exciting. I can't really remember the last time I truly felt like this. I can't remember the last time I sincerely felt so much happiness. I have never ever trusted someone like I have you so far. And, call me crazy because I know people will say I have left myself susceptible to a wound more than I can ever imagine but it's a risk I'm willing to take. 
All I can say is thank you for everything for now. My gratitude is endless. You've already came in and done more than so many people I've known. You are special and with that regard you deserve so much. I hope, it's worth it for you.
I am endlessly appreciative and grateful...
I hate the feeling of helplessness but I love the feeling of support and being loved, accepted and wanted.
Thank you for showing me hope in what I thought was gone!!