So I feel a lot of peace... I don't know why but I am relaxed. It seems as  though even though there are times where things look or seem like they're bad there is always a plus to it. So last night I wrote a message in my facebook

"Is sleep an option...hmm... it just might be! Have I mentioned I love the weather... Now I need a cuddly teddy bear or a substitute ;)"

and I had a friend send me a message. It was his birthday yesterday and he wrote me... ah if I were down there I would be your substitute, miss you lots! It's so weird... I always get all these come ons but nothing ever goes anywhere. i guess I have never been good at initiating but I know there is a lot more that underlines the issue. I am not good at talking to people who like me and I don't know how to act with people that I might like. even less, I can't express myself, I don't feel worthy  of having someoneor liking someone... I don't know... I guess that after having the courage to fess up. The whole problem is me... I feel like I am ready but I don't really think I am... or visa-versa... not sure... Well in true reality I don't find guys reliable, trustworthy, or when they want to kiss me or something I am scared... I haven't kissed in years and the truth is not no I am not scared on knowing how to kiss  (because I practice, lol... j/k I really don't) but I don't know what could be wrong with me. I know I already underlined the issue and it's something I need to get over but at the same time if I am not given a chance how am I suppose to give the chance. I know I am not suppose to be picky either but if our taste first determines.

Maybe there is too much stress and I don't want more stress... I would like someone... I just don't want a clingy person who has to know my every minute. The thing I have learned about being single for such a long time now is that I like my freedom. I like doing what I want to... I like everything about it but sometimes I miss it....Sometimes I feel that we boost up the idea so high that once it happens it's never up to our expectations therefore automatically being disapointed... well iit's happened to me...

Anyways, So my mom told me today that the landloard told my dad that they wanted the house by the 10th. Yeah, that's an I don't think so... by saturday. I don't think they can legally so that either but who knows. I mean I am not stressed because I kind of want that myself. I don't now where we are going but I've been waiting patiently so I can get all my stuff... I have sweaters and dresses all put away that I kind of want. I want quite a bit of clothes also away and i wannt it. My jewlery and well my board games. I was just telling my sis that we should have a family day. Right before we moved because the lost house and my mom's car accident we would all play monopoly for hours and it was fun. We were starting to bond.

So there are a lot of changes coming around but I am ready....

Anyways