I was writing and it erase... and I want to yell,"mother fucker!" itisn't even right anymore. Fuck you go away... but who do I say it to,there is noone there anymore. Why is it that I feel so lonely. Ok, wellso quite a while now, maybe over a month and a half I started feelingsupposedly happy with no worries just going along with life andwhat-not but lately I don't feel that way and I started thinking if inreality I was just feeling numb. What is the differnce between notcaring or thinking you're happy when in reality you weren't. Sadlythere isn't anybody to read me or judge me, or even tell, "Who the fuckare you trying to kid?" Is it me I am trying to lie to, I mean I am theonly one that really sees me on a regular basis... It's sad because Ifeel like there is noone I can just call to talk to or hang outanymore. I just don't fit in anymore. But why is it I feel this way. Then I think well you know you never really established the whole "callme to party" or to"hang out." I know I've never been to social but isit extreme to say I have social anxiety disorder... I know it probablyis. You know everybody always jumping into extreme thought...haha. Imean I have socialized with friends and family and more people but Idon't know... Another thing that has lately been bugging me I don'thave a favorite color... It's weird I know but it's one of those thingsthat I read about"what is your favorite color?" and before I use toeasily pick but now I can't... :( well be back...