Well here I am in my room all by myself and I am so bored and lonely. I have been having the weirdest moodswings in the world . I was talking to Adrian earlier and I started to cry when I was laughing a second earlier then right after I dried my tears I started to laugh . I think I scared him a bit and if could still scrae him then that must be bad . :(  I don't know what my problem is. Well I know I had the worst feeling when I was serving at Amy's recital on saturday. In the table there what a glass swan with water in it and it had a beautiful red rose in it , and well that just brought back sad moment ,well happy actually ...November 5th 2002 , it was my first year anniversity with my Art and he gave me a pretty pladed gray and white with hearts bag that contained that same swan I just saw on saturday . My heart was healed until I saw that , a gfew days ago. I was happy with my life ,I didn't even think of him even when we talked it was like whatever ever. He haas even come to see me and that didn't even open a scar like that swan.My life was so well accomplished with out the need of guys in my life  ,why did I had to remember that he came and met me in the by thge band room right after my dad dropped me off at 6:25 am ,and he even walked me to class which was far ,and was late to his  AP U.S. History class with Mackinney. I hate being uphappy .  I just feel like crying so much I don't know why. And my stomoch hurts real bad .It's really weird it's not pain ,pain but I can't explain what it feels like.