and we continue moving on

Sometimes I feel a little bad that I, so easily, am able to move on especially after expressing my feelings and having some intimate moments with these guys,mainly one and the other just left me hanging without warning... so with that it was the last straw. But, like many friends have told me not dwell and move on from the situations. I sure was feeling a little anxiety a few days ago but it's I guess learning experience to cope with different situations. And in the past when I told another friend I had feelings it took quite a while for us to get over it and the friendship to be normal but it came back to the same...and we had a couple interesting experiences... Anyways... it took a while to get over that. But, I guess I am learning how to deal with things in a sense better. And I can't deny that it helps that so far there has been someone there ... lol...

I guess I am an adult now and I need to learn to get over things... it's not going to do me any good holding on things that don't exist... it just complicates things.. I am slowly starting to realize how guys are... it's natural... this is the type of stuff I should have been figuring out during the time I was pregnant but life always has it's plans... i guess this was the time... I guess it's good that I am a little more mature and smarter... and well I am starting to enjoy the attention... and flirting is so fun!! I've never had so much fun just talking to people... it's exciting a thrill and it keeps a smile on my face... and other times I am just angry and frustrated... but they have helped me find some type of a temporary out... so much that I am always texting and and smiling or laughing that my mom and aunt are wondering  why I am always so happy when I am texting... Obviously, sometimes I feel like I am a part pathological liar bc I automatically lie  . Sometimes they all ask me the simplest questions in which I don't have to lie and there is comes out before I had time to think... oops... oh well... it's not like I am going to say... oh just kidding this is the truth... I would bury my self deep...

Anyways, so this guy so far is a bit different than all the other ones... I don't quite know what it is yet. But, so far we have an easy way of reading in a sense. Although, he does have a small record for a mistake which he told me about... but I don't care... shit happens... And sometimes you just deal with what ever punishment they give you... But, strangely even though he told me that I didn't get a red flag flashing... I usually try and make up something in my mind or convince my self of a scenario so I just forget about it all... And I don't consider them jerks... I still let  them talk to me I don't care but everything has changed in my mind and they have been blocked out... so I guess like we should all do ... is get to know the person better. It's kind of cute though when he talks to me on the phone... he gets a little nervous and well I do too... i've gotten so attached to texting... lol... but like he said somethings are better said than  texted... and I agree! It was funny bc like 2 days ago after we have been talking for a good long days he asks me what my sign is... and I laugh and asked him is he was really going to go there... and he said yes bc he has a suspicion ... So I had him do a lil math to make him figure it out... my b-day is 7 days before than his but he is a year minus 7 days from his... lol. And he said he figured...He said we were too similar to be any different... Except he's an extrovert and I'm an introvert... lol! I'll stop there... if I keep writing good things about him... I'll bring my hopes up and like in the past it goes no where... I'll see what unfolds... And I guess I can write of what happens... idk what else can I do... I ask God and he send people my way to help with the way I am... I asked him if he was religious... he said no but he believed in God which is more than I can for some people. So he asked about me and well of course I told him I was a semi practicing Roman Catholic bc I don't take communion... And he said that he had been baptized and has done his communion... lol...I don't know but that to me it gives me hope but I am not saying I am taking him... lol it all depends in what ever happens. So yea... I don't push religion but I expect those respect it... My religious views and political views make me who I am and fit my personality perfect with a few exceptions... obviously.  I don't expect people to change for me and I don't expect to change for people... that's as easy and simple as I am going to make it. We'll learn how we deal if we can handle each other... To him, I haven't had to lie ... to sometimes thinks some things I correct him... and he thinks I am a brat! Which is funny bc nobody has ever called me a brat... but he likes it... Yesterday he called me "his wild fire" it was funny... and idk I liked it... like we agreed we'll see...