personal space

Besides many things that I've done in life. Throughout having to share a room most of my life and well actually all my life and it will never stop from here on end... I still cherish my personal space. I don't mind a few to share it but I do push people away when I need it or fall asleep or something.
I've never been so touchy-feely and all... I know I can be but I'm not so big because we're conditioned... so I was conditioned to that. I feel bad at times because I'm a bit distant. My son asks me permission to give me  hug and a kiss... sometimes I feel bad but sometimes I just hate being surprised. He's big enough not  to just jump on me... I will get mad. Yes, it's sweet sometimes but sometimes it's not. I guess since I was little I was picky and I always chose who I wanted to be with. It seems like it was usually not my mother and we all know that mothers sometimes are the ones who are more sweet kind... but since I was more daddy's little girl I preferred more a male to care for me. My dad is a distant type of guy himself. He doesn't really let people get close to him, he's quiet and he doesn't say anything. He's frustrated when he puts him hand on his forehead, he mad when he'll look at you and wont say a thing (silent treatment) ... I'm a little similar to him... Danny interact with me the most and he's a momma's boy (he doesn't have a choice)...  My mom had my sister and favored her because my sister would be with her. She's more loving nature and has a way with kids.
I've slowly learned to tolerate people touching my stuff. I think  I would get fire in my eyes in college because my friend would hardly tough any of my stuff or started asking for permission. We were all close but you don't know how it felt. It felt as bad as being invaded... I know stuff is just materialistic but you don't understand the struggle to finally have something to call my own. The hard part has always been something that is mine. When I own it, I don't let it go. I'll share now but it's me. I know I shouldn't consider my stuff myself but it's hard to gain something. It's the only way I was able to demonstrate my personality for so long because I was too shy to speak out, to show who I was. I didn't let people know because I didn't trust people.
Trust me for is very important. It's very delicate as well. I usually trust with a 10 foot poll in between on... a distance safe enough to ok.
And all of this came out because my mom had a prayer thing at home which I don't mind. We spent the whole time cleaning the house and I didn't clean my room but because I washed I just need to put all that clothes away. So I told my son not to come into the room because I know kids follow and he doesn't understand the whole concept. So I came into the room and he was here with kids. You don't even know how I felt. I felt like I was trapped and had no where to go. Then more and more kids came. He wanted to play video games and they wanted to play... I let them stay for like 15 mins or so(i think less)... feeling more and more uncomfortable... I finally took some charge and told them to go play outside... I couldn't take it. I wanted to pull my hair. I don't have many places I was be calm or my own and my biggest pet peeve in the world is when "MY" room door stays open while I'm in the room. I feel exposed... might as well be naked in front of everybody and it would feel the same. 
So yea, my room my personal space, need to be closed.... Unless I otherwise say... I need my little corner to myself with no interruptions and a door. If I had a small office (someday) you'd know that door would be locked... and I would be in there... yup... well I mean I trust some people or a person. haha but yea...

anything I'm done.