It was so upset when I woke up. No, not this morning but like 3 mornings ago. So, My sister has been influencing my son to ask me for a baby sister. And well now my son really wants a baby sister but of course he doesn't know what that would entitle. That would mean no more full time attention, and of course that would mean not doing everything he wants at his given time or even more a budget cut to accommodate but regardless  that isn't going to happen. Well the other night I well asleep with those thoughts of my son insisting that that I have a baby of course I was a little of the role my sister was having in this but whatever. So in the morning I woke in sweating, alert, and almost scared that the dream had come true. I dreamt that I was like 8 months pregnant. I had to tell my mother so I did and she said well there is no big surprise. The thing was that the baby didn't have a father but in my dream people always assumed. My thought were in the line how I am going to care for another baby if I can barely manage with one and not so well. I was scared. Sadly, the thoughts was were going through my head in the dream were "What am I going to do? I need to find her a home. She cannot stay with me. I am not ready." You know the typical spiel that goes through everybody's head that is not ready but ends up realizing that it's going to be ok. When I woke up, it almost felt as the morning after I woke up back at home from the hospital when I had just given birth to Danny. It felt as though I was waking up and did not know what to expect. For a second, I almost thought I was going to wake up and there was going to be a baby girl or a crib next to me. I was sincerely, frightened at the thought of being more in the consequence of poverty of lack of conscience. That dream was an eye-opener. I have never experienced something like that in a dream in which I can honestly say I agree. Sure I have been saying for quite some time that I do not want any others maybe some day but can it be that the birth of my son really scarred me to be frightened. Even to make such a beautiful thing into a frightful situation. Sure you may read it and think well that is nothing. I was 2 kids and I'm married or living with my husband , or that isn't too bad... well yeah I am a single mom and I actually plan on having it that way for quite some time until I can pick up all the pieces. Just imagine... being a guy and waking up next to a baby and no there is no baby's momma to watch  the baby, change the diaper or even feed him/her... well being a girl it's a little different but it felt like that, not having enough hands to go around.