Well monday I went on a date with David and wow it was perfect except that we almost got in a car accident but that didn't ruin it . He came here to Redlands to pick me up and we went to the movies but there were no movies at that time until like 6:45 and we got there ar 5:30 so we decided to go eat at sizzlers and we talked . I didn't know he had an A.A. for computer junk but I was impressed i think he said that he went to ITT I think . But he works doing computer stuff in Palms Springs everyday. When we were walking back to go see the movie he slowly gets my hand and starts to hold it . I thought it was the sweetest thing . I really felt comfortable with him. When we were at the movies he was just holding my hand and caressing it . It actually felt right , i don't understand but it's just weird because when he was caressing my hand I was starting to get a few butterflies in my stomach. I don't but there is something about him that I really like . I guess we had a conenction since the beginning which was when we went to Knott's scary farm in October but i was not ready because it hadn't been a month since the break up. He held my hand there for protection from the monsters. i thought it was sweet. i don't I guess i have to start giving chances but trusting is still a bit skeptical. I don't know if all guys are the same . i truly wish that they are not .But either way David   and I are going out on friday . I think I am going to have fun . I am going to have to practice cooking over spring break. I need to get my cooking up and running again and rememeber how to combine my spice to make sauces just like I like them . Oh yeah , David says that he can cook .... that's a plus . :) And another plus I finally found sombody that is actually older than me . I remember when I was younger I use to say that I was never going to go out with anybody that was younger than me , they at least had to be in my grade but I guess that fell through when I was Art's girllfriend for 3 years but I have no regrets but I learn a lot about immaturity so that is a real turn off to me . But David is 20 years also his birthday is in october and that makes him like 3 months older than me but he is older so that makes me happy. I feel so comfortable with him but I can't stare at him in his eyes for a long time ... I get scared, but I don't know why . It makes me feel nervous and I hate that feeling . I could usually lie about certain expressions but I don't think I could hide it . We talked about weird people and stuff and I told him the truth but we just said that we will find out as we go along ...lol because I said that I was a very weird person sometimes . He is church oriented too , and I like that. He asked me if I went to chuch and I said no but it wasn't a bad thing. He must be Catholic because he said his cross when he was about to eat .I don't know but I am just trying to figure him out . And I will I like mystery , I like to find out and so far I have a lot to learn because as of now all I know is that he use to work at McD's and that he had a gf there and I know that b/c I remember , his first name , that he has an associates degree , when his birthday is , who some of his friend are , where he lives . I think that is it but hmm but most of that was stuff that I already knew prior to the date . I know that I Am freak but that is who I am . Maybe during spring break he can meet my mom and dad ....maybe or I will just tell them that I am leaving but who knows there is still half a week to decide about that but I had tried to schedule early hours so that we can go out in the afternoon . I am finally thinking that I might have a chance at moving on . 
I feel free but today when I was hearing a song I thought of Art and I started to cry ... I still kind of miss him but I feel sorry for him . Even though he is a very close friend of mine he is a very stubborn person and I worry about his fututre but I guess that is not much of my worry anymore. I dont know what to say about him but that he will always be in my heart and that regardless of that I have let go and he is gone .