And I think...

I guess I have my ups and downs like everybody in the whole world... I'm realizing that most people are relatively the same except some speak their minds and others just keep them shut!
My biggest problem I have is I think too much... and when I don't think as much I am actually thinking about thinking... Who in their right mind does that... haha... well whether I'm in my right mind or not I guess I do it...
I actually weigh all my options thoroughly... And sometimes even though there might be downfalls in the plan if it's worth it I will continue with the decision... I play a lot of tug-o-war with my self, my thoughts, beliefs, relationships... I mean EVERYTHING!!!
The thing about me is that I am also a lil bit stubborn... just a lil.. haha!  I am so stubborn that once I have made a decision I will stick it through, no matter what... When I love... I will go down until (if I'm not lucky) I get a heartbreak or live happily ever after... Which you can assume what I've gone through, lol.
I never say, "I love you" until I feel it and mean it...And even when I feel it sometimes I with hold...I told myself that I would never be the one who says it first, I guess after all I am afraid of heartbreak or just plain rejection. I hate rejection and I prefer dying with what I hold inside but I've taken some risks and guess what... rejection... lol so many years back... The thing about me also is I do go a lil head over heels and to be honest I'm the most committed person in the world to a person and the sad thing is that they sometimes don't notice. I just hope that when I feel something, it doesn't know in vain... :)
I guess I'm just thinking... after all it's all I do... I'm always full of lil hearts and lil red roses... lol