happy stars lead tto being bummed

If ever there is something that gives me hope it's the unknown of the stars. I don't know why but the comfort of the peaceful night... the quiet or better yet the silence and the gleaming stars that night after night continue to shine. It's something I learned from my dad, how to appreciate the beauty in the inexplicable wonders of the world. I can seriously lay under the stars and stare forever. It has always given me this imitation of what love feels like but I have never had the opportunity to really share them with anybody. I am not really of an outdoor person... I use to be but you know disillusionment of life happens... but I would still love to go to a cabin for a  weekend get away and let the stars guide me to what ever. I think that its the only thing that has always manage to give me the warmth feeling even when everything else is going wrong....

And here I sit thinking about this guy and he only gives me one-word answers...
The most annoying thing in the world is one-word answers... I hate them... bc that means they're not even trying... I try to do a leading question so he can have room to elaborate and nothing....How do I try and give somebody a chance if when I want to talk to them they're never there... I don't know but I last week we had a good time, I guess... Maybe he got what he wanted and he's going to leave me hanging like I did to him like 3 years ago? I know I shouldn't be saying it and I guess maybe I should let time take it's course but I like to know what is going on. I guess there are things I can't control. I guess there were things I had  control over... but then life would be boring... right... Damn! I know I have to wait and even though I don't want to I am going to have to anythings... so why am I whining? See I don't know if I can do the same thing he did at the beginning or if he will find it annoying... or clingy. I don't like to be clingy... I like to give him his space so he can do what he wants but at the beginning he would text me everyday... and we would talk most of the day about nothingness... but he doesn't do it anymore and when he stopped I sort of did too but I still kept constant. I don't text him every day because it would be too much or is it? then I start to think that bc I didn't do it like he did maybe he thinks I'm not interested... i don't know... I can honestly say that I don't understand guys anymore... I am confused and I don't know how to act, react... How do I send him something without it having to be a picture that might excite him but something where he will still think of me and want to initiate a conversation? I hate doing all the work... I always do it and I get no where... life story!!   I want to be notice, I  want to be wanted... I need affection or to know that he's thinking about me... if he's not... so I can find another or someone who will keep me preoccupied... idk, lol jk. after writing this I almost want to go look at the stars for more hope bc I am totally bummed...

*sigh* 
I can honestly say it's time to bring someone home but how I see him, he wouldn't be it   but only time can tell, I certainly can't... Maybe I am being dumb but that's what I do think...happy