I "choose" to not love you...

So, I just did a pulse asking a question... and like any question you always get a variety of answers... 

"Do you think Love is forever?" and those who answered agreed with "I think love is a daily choice"

And even though I can understand how or why one might think love is a choice, I've always been driven more by my heart than actually being aware. I don't have to choose on daily basis. I just love, I don't think about it. When I love, I love unconditionally and maybe it's where I have gone wrong. If I say "I love you" ... I mean it forever no matter what... the hard part would be trying to convince my heart after to forget about it... is this possible?

And I'm not frankly talking about the love of "God" because all believers believe He loves you forever and those that don't believe just don't. I'm talking about whether you can love another everyday. Even though, today in mass they spoke about the 2 most important ways to get to heaven and one is to love your neighbor and the other is to love God. If you can do both it would leave you in good standing. But,  Sometimes it might be a challenge. People (most) can love God but they will not love themselves enough to love other than themselves. They don't know how to love and respect others. I know people may anger you but is it enough to doubt the love you hold? 

I guess I've always been the hopeless romantic type but thinking about it more now... I'm more hopeless... 

It was just a little tough thinking that people who have come into my world have chose to let go or rather not love... I know it's for the best but just the thought is a bit hurtful. We know there are better people out there, it's just that now I'm realizing there has always been someone better for the other person than for me. It doesn't always work out but love is a choice so go forth and choose your better choice. 

So, when you believe love is a choice, can it be easier to fall out of love? Can some one teach us how?

@SirNickDon @Rainboxx @LKJSlain  @grammarboy @livexlovexlaughter @snoog420

 

How are you today? I really want to know....

In daily life we're always conflicted or gifted with many emotions... sometimes happiness, sadness, love, shock, surprise, dismay, anger.... and so many many more which I'm sure you're aware of and no use in jotting down... 

I'm great. Just a little saddened with news but great none the less.... 

How are  you today? (Spill your guts, I'm here to listen.) How do you feel? 

Dating online (xanga, FB, etc)

Well us being fellow Xangans and getting so close to each other I know we're all aware relationships start on here. Some unfortunately lead to heartbreak or misleading. We know there are many outlets of socializing. I know that it's hard enough meeting people even if you know the person or not.... 

I've met a person when Myspace was alive... and then again the same person in FB. I've dated 2 others from Fb, was in a xanga LDR.  I even went on a online dating site but I took it down, I just chatted with people but there is no way I would ever trust those people. I don't know what to say about any of them, I've met great people but it always hurts a little you know... There is only one relationship in which I had never met in person but was hoping at one point in my life. The last one and the feelings are/were unexplainable and the situation is so indescribable that I'm still mystified. 

Between, my son and the little or not going out at all, meeting people is hard. 

So, TV says 20% (1out of 5) of relationships will start online, do you agree or disagree?

(I know more have started in mine, but how do you measure, only US, people with computers, or people with no comp/internet access, oh lovely stats... how do you come about?)

And I was wondering has Xanga been your only socializing site or do you meet or reacquaint through other's sites??

Where'd ya meet your gf/bf? 

Hello my name is Reyna (who I really am)

With all this about people being fake or not knowing who is who, made me really think about people who pretend. I don't know about people and I don't really question them especially on a blog. What they right is their prerogative and if they want to be unknown that is fine but what happens when people get close? I know people and they can embellish or lie or not even write about what is going on for real,it's all about the story and a reaction. Everybody is different and expresses themselves differently. 

I guess you all get the benefit of the doubt whether you are who you claim to be or not, I'm not one to say. We all live so far away. And I don' expect you to actually believe everything I write here but I am a pretty honest person and what I write is how I feel or see the subject at a time.  There is only one person who really knows me IRL @snoog420 and if you know our story and how it happened, you've know why ... very interesting!!  

There are a few people I have trusted with my number like 4 people other than snoog420 have my number. But, I've also have had the opportunity to chat and talk to many of you. I don't usually tell people to find me or add me to fb since I consider it very personal and if you're there then I've trust you to an extent. So lucky who have my # and who I've added to Fb? 

So, My name is Reyna E. F. 

I am the eldest of 4. I am a single mother with a BA in Music. I play clarinet. I teach clarinet lessons. My son is 5 I had him in between semesters my junior year of college. graduated in 4  years. I went to the University of Redlands. I've been in love possibly 2 times in my life. I'm easy to talk to, texting and chatting, it's a bit harder to talk to or see face to face at times. I struggled with being embarrassingly shy my whole life. Snapping out of it slowly but my persona  when I chat and when you meet me at first can be a bit of a shock. Its not that I'm pretending because how I write and how I am is actually how I've always felt to be... but I'm far too introverted to actually be able to articulate. You can't tell that introversion by the way I speak then again I feel I have less to hide you're all strangers.  

I was talking to @cucumber_melonhead and I was telling him about the discrepancies in my personally, lol. The best way to describe the personally for some of you is pretty much like if I had a couple of margaritas... relaxed and comfortable. I haven't drank in ages but I really only socialize with a few friends. And they think I always make them argue, it's my peaceful ways. I'm rather passive. I'm not a fighter but can disagree.Oh and I will argue. I'm nice but I wont stand it if I don't like it. I don't know how I bring the bad out of people  but oh well   

I've actually spoken to Krisko well we've skyped in the  he knows how hard it is for me. It's hard to describe but I know it. 

There's quite a few people who know me a bit the hot head and the nice sweet like Ray or Lynn, Krisko, Josh, Johnson, Ritzy, and so many other really nice people who have impacted me. ... I didn't mention everybody or close to and I'm sorry. I know who you are and your names escape me sometimes, bad short term memory . But, those who I have spoken to know a little of me

All I have to say is I'm as real as I can be. Nothing I've ever written here has been a lie or at least it's been how I've felt. Feel free to talk to me if you want. I sometimes don't mind. 

All my pictures are really me and my son's and they match what I've had in all my accounts (online) only have one xanga. 

Ok, enough of me... 

oh and one thing. For some reason that I don't quite get: people or guys sometimes call me sexy and sometimes it makes me insecure and I don't know why... Well there you have it

7 items... seven

Well I was finally tagged in the 7 things List that everybody is doing...  Thanks Bede lol
Well I just wrote about my self a little but I think I can do 7 random things ...

1. My siblings think I'm very random. I always say the weirdest things are the worst times.

2. I'll start laughing at something and if I get the stink eye, my laughter gets stronger and turns into tears of hurt.

3. It's hard for me to get emotionally attached after so much deception but I try and it still never works.

4. When I was little (don't ask me where I got this idea) I use to want to be a sniper for the military.

5. If I didn't teach the little I know about music, I would feel my life would be nothing.

6. When I was younger I use to romanticize suicide, I really wanted to die.

7. When I had my son. I appreciate women so much more. Oh the pain and I had a great pain threshold until I had him. Ouch! If a man ever gets me to have a child ever again, it means I truly love him. Even if you can get me to accept, you must mean a lot.

manual or automatic?

Yes, I know the thrill of having more control of your car and being able to go faster and be able to slow down faster having a manual car... the speed, adrenaline, keeping your legs and hands busy... well until you get to your last gear then all you have from there is down shifting...
I own an automatic but when I get the car I want in life as I get a hold of money, I will want a manual too ... Well, if everything goes according to plan but if not I'll be happy with life as it is.
Yes, guys like to have some sort of control and sometimes you lose it. Now, I picture some younger guys trying to take control specially when they get their first car...  but is that a reason why they might want to own a manual car? what do you think?
It's a useful skill to have no doubt.
I have my 19 yr old brother. He wants a car and found one he likes, 5 speed, Honda Civic SI. This will be his first car. Not to say I'm jealous but I am. I got my car with help because I've been here for the last 4 years and then some (if you know the story great if not read back) so my bro has always been one to ask and ask.... he's always been a little selfish. More the I want something now whether it's in the reach or not.  He has a gf and lil boy which he had his senior in HS. He was still being bottle fed when he had baby. He's never known real independence and it makes me sad he's still asking and asking knowing it can't be done but that my parents will try and help. Here's an extra catch. He wants this cars really bad but guess what?He doesn't drive stick?!!! He wants it bad... I was telling him to wait. He stubborn, we all are. And he's the most selfish, so why?
He's going to be leaving for boot camp in March. I guess the condition from my mom will be that if they can manage to get the car he will have to leave it behind when he leaves with us. Which can mean I will have an extra car, jk... but can you imagine how expensive insurance will be for him. His first car, he just got his license a couple months back. No experience.  I think he should downgrade from what he wants (the car is salvage anyways) and he will eventually get the money for a car he wants but he can't be about just give me, give me ...
We've had real struggles in life and what did all my siblings do? Disperse and try to pretend everything was ok. Ignoring a situation never make it go away, but it's sure easy to feed on the sacrifice that we have made. I guess it makes me mad. (sorry, it's been a hard road) See I look for reason and buying something that will be an asset. Now, he's just doing it for the joy and its more expensive than the car I got. My mom had said she would help with $1000 for each of them if she could and he's pushing it 5-6 times that... saying he will payback.I doubt it... :/ See, I've gained the trust from my parents to sometime manage the little money they have, it's stressful so when my siblings are coming to me for approval when I'm trying to save money and makes sure we can be ok on bills, of course I'm not going to approve or give them thee look. And then they go to mommy and say well she doesn't care... Yes, I don't because he only thinks of himself.
why want something you can't drive just yet, anyways? I can't say I know how to drive it either, it's been years since I driven a manual car.... like 7 yrs. I wont trust my self.
We're going to see the car today in Los Angeles... My mom and I already have a packed day with errands. And drive 2 hours close to LAX. he's inconsiderate. I'm sorry, but I'm upset...
Since he doesn't drive stick, I was trying to see if a friend of mine would check it out. He works in Fontana usually during the day. You know how uncomfortable it's to ask a friend if he can drive to help out and  last minute bc lil bro set up appointment without thinking. I doubt my friend will be able to go but we'll see...


Anyways, What do you prefer a Manual car or Automatic and why? I really want to know!!!

Last day to live...

If you  just found out it was your last day and sadly you only had a few hours ...

You have an opportunity to do one thing or tell one or 2 people 3 things ...
What would you do or who would you tell and what would you tell them?