Fettuccine with Alfredo sauce and then some :)

I was running errands and ended up going to the grocery store as well... I went in and picked a few items and my mom picks a few items herself... mushrooms, one red pepper, alfredo sauce, springtime salad, asparagus ...  hmmm what to do...

Well we all know the typical fettuccine with alfredo sauce goes well especially which chicken!! Yum yum... anyways, so we got home and my brother was setting up the grill because he wanted some "Carne Asada" (yea, heavy wind, rain and all) that had been left over uncooked. There were a few pieces of chicken also so I took them out and guess what I ended up having to grill everything ---go figures-- But mean while the meat was cooking I put the water to boil for the fettuccine... Once the fettuccine was cooked I turned it off and added the mushrooms.I did not want my mushrooms to be over cooked. Then I went out to keep grilling... After 10 minutes I went back  and put the pasta with mushrooms to drain and I started cutting the red pepper into slices (uncooked).

Put the fettuccine with mushrooms back in the pan... added the alfredo sauce... turned on the fire (very lightly) and added the sliced peppers and covered the pan... 

I left  to keep grilling; grilling the chicken takes the longest (for obvious precautions needed to take with chicken) and it needs to be very well cooked... but once that was done I took it inside... chopped it up into small pieces.. I wanted more of the taste of chicken than to really bite into it...

My fettuccine with Alfredo sauce and chicken (mushroom and red pepper) was done... but the fire was still on in the grill so I we decided to grill the asparagus... Mmmmm

The food was better than I imagined... The taste a bit different but just what I wanted. Now add the Springtime salad and the asparagus and just imagine. I enjoyed this very much!!

  

Does "Past the Point of no return" exist?

I don't know how many of you have listened to The Phantom of the Opera, Past the Point of no Return, I know the story was based on a very old fashion mentality... Not that woman have ever really belonged to men but they have at some point you can say... (or visa versa in a sense)

We have the issue on women giving themselves to men (being deflowered) as a sign on their love. Hence she belonged to him in return and her love would be forever his...

We also have those instances where woman or girls use to get pregnant to basically trap the man (which was a stupid idea to begin with) that they loved... and well that's what they use to call a "shot gun wedding" where presumably her father would carry a shot gun to make sure Mister (I deflowered the princess and got her pregnant) wouldn't escape...

And well there was/is the vow of Marriage... a sacred act in many religions and a contract by  law...to stay together forever!  But, nowadays with the whole Divorce being at an all time high, and many single mothers making a life for themselves...

Are we to assume "Past the Point of no Return" no longer exist in relationships? Is no one willing to put the effort to really get to know the person correctly or stick it through the 'thick and thin' through the challenges you're to face... Everybody gives up to easily... a challenge appears and some "run and hide" instead of the "we'll work on it together as a couple" the way it should be done...

Do you believe "Past the Point of No Return" exists (maybe in your life) or it just never fit the characteristics of people? 

Frankly, in my life I believe it does(could) exist and I'm willing to let it play out in that way. Once I feel I've gonepast the point of no return, I will not look  back but look forward to what's next... But, I'm a little more old fashion... What does society think? What's in this New AGE?

Living is better than feeling Unworthy

Though the mists of trying to figure out who I was ... I found myself questioning myself
"why I wasn't quite satisfied and or happy just yet" with how things were sometimes going. Don't get me wrong I am happy but wasn't seeing a complete happy ending in my future. Although, we all know we can't tell the future but you can surely see possible outcomes to the decisions we all make... of course to a minimal extent.

I was realizing that in high school I was embarrassingly shy, couldn't have people look at me... or even face my way because I felt out of place unless I was in the band room (yea, I was a weird freaky band geek, lol but there I had control... I was a small power control freak with my section- still proud that I was to this point the toughest and still the only one that got 2 "section of the year" during my reigns of terror -3 years) ... But that was just it... every where else I felt "out of place".

After I graduated college... I think I obtained more self confidence or maybe wiggled out of the leash that I tied myself to my life and thoughts...I was finally free to roam somewhat freely but I couldn't go stray because well I would die of hunger ... lol

Anyways, I graduated... I started noticing that the Jock from high school, the video guy/ drama guy, the weird but funny Asian, Or the guy who was emo/rocker/punk and different types of guys were now hitting on me... And I stated to evaluate myself... Not that any of them weren't good people... At least one of them was awesome who actually ended up becoming like a male best friend... weird but we were too alike for us to ever work out and we just have an inept understand for each other... it happens when you talk to a person for like 1 month in a half every single day almost all day... talking and texting probably and hanging out here and there...

Well sure, people have gotten courage through what we call the internet Facebook... Myspace (which is totally dead by now in case you didn't know), there are no other social links that are/were popular enough to give you profiles on who a person is... The whole dating site... I am not a fan of, I hate the thought of meeting a complete stranger still... not "hate" but more "fear" you can say... I tried the online speed dating site but when I would just go on I was bombarded by people talking to me, it was weird... I realized there is no way you can meet  a person that way and I knew that it wasn't going to work... I am  too off-standish to new people usually...

Then I started thinking of all those people who met either the person they married or love of their life in college... and I started thinking to my self... Why didn't I find someone when I was in college... And then my story came to mind "Emotionally attached to an ex supposed "love of life"" and then by junior year I had a huge belly and a child by second semester... I told myself that nobody was going to want a single mother... with nothing to offer... And I closed my doors and shunned myself unworthy of a good man, and a love...

Then about a year ago I was thinking of so many women (girls-ladies) that I've known who have been single mothers who have fallen in love after and been married and live happily with their now spouse and possibly some with more kids, and I realized that I was the only one who was at fault for closing myself to such possibility.

I cannot tell what it's in store for me but I am finally open to admit that so far I am happy with what has been coming my way. I never expect love to happen from one day to the next but happiness that comes can only lead to such feelings of being wanted and expression of more. I try to the best of my ability to live a christian life ... I am Catholic and have been going to mass every Sunday for most of my life as far as I can remember with a few exceptions... With the few challenges faced in life I can only  know that the way up is the way we want to go. And faith and belief just gets stronger.  If God keeps giving me the blessed opportunity to wake up everyday... My faith and devotion for everything I have been given by His grace will be me more courage. 

We all live life. We will be given second chances to make up for choices we make but it's our responsibility to make those new decisions accordingly that leads to our happiness and not just what appeals those the people. The people will always have something to say (and usually negatively) but will rarely help you in need...

We will all meet diverse types of people but only the one person who is meant to be with you will accept you completely for who you are... They will not try and change you and yet don't let them change you ... you will go through change but because you see fit not because someone else. In many cases things are easier said then done... but why pretend to be someone else when later they realize they fell in love with other person who you never were.

Be conscientious, courteous, respectful, and always show love to those around you and you will always be loved by all... 

Relationships post "love of life"

There is a point where we are all sad and what not about being left or breaking up ... Quite possibly from the first relationship whether long term or from your first love you've ever had. We all go through it and some of us take it a little harder than most and others move on. I realize what some of these girls go through because I went through it and it's not to mention that life is never a for sure thing, or better yet a person in your life isn't a for sure until you both decide to make a commitment for life, through it all and no matter what.

I just read a small blog based on mediocre relations that lay ahead after your first love and yea you need to dig through sh*t to find the adequate person for you to spend your life.  Most will be mediocre until you find your one true love and even though you might feel as though they might not quite meet the expectations as your first love (which would have been your first at everything or first at love)..  I am sure that once you meet your one you will see you were blinded by nostalgia and weren't giving yourself a true opportunity to be happy. The person that you end up staying with you will make you the happiest person in the world. Well the goal is to try your best. You as a couple are meant to "bring out the best out of each other" and if you're not then either work on that or there is someone better for you out there. I am just saying. Sure I haven't been in many relationships for that reason but I've dated and met pretty diverse guys. And to answer another blog "Does the feeling of loving for the first time ever come back?"  Yes it does. Point blank... and this you learn from experience. I use to feel as though no one would ever meet the criteria that my one love I had so many years ago had... and slowly dating, I started learning through gentlemen about a give and take relationship and a different type of happiness which can lead to love.It's always best to be open to change and not think that because they're not your ex ,you just broke up with or was in loved with, they can't make you happy.

And please don't compare your now person with you ex... it can pressure your new person to feeling unworthy...  Sure we all have our qualities and we all have ex's and we can all compare (without limits if we want) but it's best to analyze mentality in that perspective. Keep your ex to yourself unless you want the possibility to something great to wither. You and only you have the potential to making someone happy... not the thoughts(of what your ex did) that you liked...

Be patient and stop being so depressed... be happy, go out, have fun, enjoy your friends, do hobbies... don't change your life because all of sudden you feel like you're missing something or someone in you life. You're a whole person and no one will ever complete you but yourself. A Person will compliment you and add spice/flavor to you but you were never really broken to begin with so stop thinking in that mentality. The only time 2 halves become a whole is in the chromosomes of when a baby is being made and that's it... lol! Be yourself and be happy and the person who is meant for you will be... Don't wait around, don't force yourself and it will happen when you least expect. :)


Hope this made sense! 
Does anybody else have something to add?!?!

What values do you look for in a person -friend or significant other?

In any person I encounter I always look for the unspoken law of honesty. I am usually very good at reading people but I also like to give the benefit of the doubt. I guess I want to be wrong even though I usually am notBUT I know *inside* of me that I tried.  I don't start anything to later find out that what started was based on uneven ground... it will fall and be destroyed... We all earn the right to know as we all get to know each other... A friendship never makes it past the point where you feel you can't trust them, it just doesn't happen.

Common Courtesy- Etiquette... be mindful of what you do and how it can affect others... Hey if comeplete strangers can still hold a door for you as you're running to the same store, or building why can't a friend or significant other.. not only male... ladies... you too... Stop being so bitchy or moody and hold the door as a guy(or girl) juggling a baby, and a diaper bag and trying to get errands done. Be mindful and courteous...People don't realize how others struggle until they have the opportunity to be in their shoes and then they think they're the only people in the world who "have had it this hard" No! Everybody struggles but you were too selfish to notice!

Love in their hearts! -- Sometimes people have been too hurt to notice that they hurt others.. I am sorry I can't be your friend if you're feeling low all the time that you try and bring me down... but I will be there for you and do my best to help you cope with the situation but if you don't try... hey I'll help you... there's the balcony... *jk*... but I will love you until the moment you push me out...

I will never do anything to burden you with my  issues but if I come to you it means you mean something for me and I don't go to anybody ever. If you brush me off in the few instances that I have really needed a friend, and I found my self in a predicament ... you finish the story...

I always expect you to be who you are and stop pretending... I know the real you. I am who I am and figured that it will never change. Don't expect me to change because I am who I am... I am not. We'll accept each other and learn from each other.

I'll respect your space and you respect mine... I don't expect you to be at my beckon call as I can't expect you to be... it isn't that easy. There are priorities in life and order for anything to work both must always understand each other...

Respect!! I will always respect me... but don't degrade me... "I may talk slow, but it don't mean I'm stupid!" 

This for all: if you mean something to me...I will always do what I can to help you if it's in my hands...Unfortunately, it's not always possible but know that everything for  possible was tried... Don't test me to fail...I hate being tested when they know I am going to fail... I will try to do the impossible but if it's not impossible don't try to make me create miracles... (they wont ever happen for the expecting)

   
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dream of Lost Music

I will back track a bit... Apparently I lost 4 years worth a college repetoire that I have bought as a Clarinet student... which actually really saddens me a few months back. I've tried looking everywhere and I can't find it... I have searched the HS band room where I teach and looked in my car and house because those are the only 3 places it could have been and nothing...

Anyways, So last night I had a dream that someone was asking me about my music and I described it... in a dull bluish folder with golden lettering that said "University of Redlands" in the front, 3 inches thick... a paper folder full of music and falling apart mind you but still together... it was an older white male... whitish hair but I can't make who it is, black suit and no face... When I described what my folder looked like he made a face... so I asked if he found it and hesistantly nodded... Said that it wasn't going to look like how I expected it to but yes.... And I woke up... I guess within my dreams I still have hope that I will find that folder... it's not the value of the music because I can buy it... but more of a personal attachment I have to it. I did a duet 4 fours years (march 16, 2007 for my senior recital) ago with piano accompaniment and I had the first  part and piano part in my folder...the production to that music was discontinued many years and mine wasn't an original copy but it was the only copies we had...  I can't remember all the titles of music I have played and others I also bought and experienced during masters ...

oh well... hopefully some day... if I don't find it ever... I've be buying all clarinet music... beginning  to advance just because...

What is the hardest personal question someone could ask you? And have you answered it?

I honestly think that the hardest personal question is not much of personal... as in private... because I will tell you what you want to hear, if you're sure you want to hear it. The past never makes for what I will do in the future but has made me who I am today. And today will only mold me into what I will be tomorrow.

The hardest question anybody can possibly ask me is... "Do you think you can spend the rest of your life with me?" And it's not about not being able to because I am sure that when you're in love you're willing to leave the nest to create a home... but more for fear as if it wouldn't work... I guess we never really know whether this can happen but have hope for it to last forever right?

I don't take a lifetime so lightly... I believe that a marriage is forever... a love, a life is to be made together forever. Being, Catholic...( I know people get divorced and I don't find it right but I guess it's not just black and white but to me there's barely any gray area here in my opinion -- the way I look at it) but for me I would like to do it completely right and all the way which if I were to get married it would be under my church doctrine and civil of course... but the way that our church doc works is that marriage is forever... Divorce doesn't count... and doesn't matter... you will still be married to that person under their law...even if there is a legal divorce. The only way you can get away from this is an Annulment which would go through Vatican. Anything less than that, you could never remarry under  the church until "death do you part" of one of the parties of course ...  And also because if you're just married by law (living with your "spouse") under the church you're not considered married and you cannot be a full practicing Catholic...

I know a little strict but it's the way I grew up knowing and respecting... the it's a sacred act of God and God is the one who guides us to find (in my case) a man who will be there to respect me and I him...  But, this I would do... if the person is willing to go through it all with me and if he were in a different religion, of course, we know practicing people are to be respected about their beliefs and I'm not going to change who you are because I can't. But, Compromise (I would love you and this is what I would be willing to do)... we can do it the 3-ways... Civil (court), your church and I would do the requirements they expect of me, as long as you do the same thing for me and we get married under my church...

I don't know if I made this complicated... but, to me this is one of the hardest questions for this reason...
*shrug* 


And I have never had  the opportunity to be asked... obviously I am not married ...

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