Today

Today was a super long day. Well firstly I woke up, right there is nothing unusual about that otherwise I would not be writing . Well woke up today and well my mom was massaged a couple of people. She has mentioned she wanted to go to a funeral for this lady, friend of her Aunt's. But she ended up working there was just no time.

Well one thing that I started seeing Danny do is go to the restroom by himself. He wont even tell us, he just goes to the restroom puts his undies down and goes. Today he went poop twice but of course I went to go help him. But I found it so odd that when he would go pee he would just go to the restroom and when I would least know it hear the toilet flushing.  I was quite pleased seeing as though I started taking away the diaper last thursday so he has something to look forward to going to the birthday party. Well today he started asking for his diapers and I told him no. Of course I am not going to allow him as much as I can. He understood and kept going to the restroom. I think he is doing progressively good for only taking his little hiding mask away.But I will see his progress. I had high hopes...

Today I was talking to Miriam and it was nice I mean I hadn't spoken to her since the last time they were down here with Mabel. It was weird because I wasn't expecting her message. She was in TJ with her aunts. We were talking about Danny so I send them a few pictures of Danny and some with both little brothers today. They want to meet Danny and I remember Mabel insisting me on going to TJ many years ago for them to meet Danny and then her Mom's death occurred.   But I am had high hopes that they will sometime soon get to meet him. It is only right since they are his family. Also, later on Mabel called and she came over for a little while and another little girl friend requested me and she said she was "Miriam and jr's" cousin. She is Maria Luisa. She was a sweet little girl but I ended having to cut the conversation short and even leave while Mabel was there talking to my mom. 

Well I had received a texted on my phone at around 4:09pm but I didn't think much of it. Well I wanted to see it but Verizon wouldn't allow me to open it. I have limited access because my boss hasn't paid my whole phone but it's okay right?  It was a Text or probably a picture from Cristal and I found it weird because I had just seen her on saturday. Well my sister ended up staying at work for an extra hour and she called me on my phone because that I can receive... calls and regular texts, well she calls me and says, "Did Cristal have her baby already?" and I was  shocked and breath taken for a second. We tried calling her and there was no answer. I was worried so I told my sister to call Tia Socorrito and well my sister asked her about Cristal but she woudl go around the question. My sister is pretty up front so kept insisting until she got out a little out of her. Well we found out she was in Arrowhead and headed her way right away.
Well we found her she was doing great talking, joking but she and the doctors were unsure of why the baby came so early. She had just had an ultra soud which said she was 5 1/2 months pregnant and when the baby was born they told ger she was 26 weeks and then they told her that the baby was 28 weeks, so she was like 7 months... and still had 3 more months to go, a full term pregnancy is 38-40 weeks. The baby will stay there for probably a couple of months until He is fully developed. He weighed under 2 pounds so he has a long way to go. She said that when she got to the hospital they were going to check her and I guess her water broke. The baby was born within like 15 minutes of her arrival. She said since the baby was so young he was still breach but since he was so little his lefs came out first and then the head without a problem. She said that if she is doing as well as she was today she can go home tomorrow but of course the baby stays.

Then I got home and well I knew my mom was sick but Danny is now sick too. 
I went to the store bought him pedialyte. I got home and well they had put a diaper on him so I changed his diaper gave him a spoon full of tynenol to decrease his fever and gave him pedialyte. I took him to bed and put him to sleep I am hoping he gets better . I hate seeing kids being sick... I get frustrated and vulnerable. I honestly never know what to do, I freak out. But I do try and stay calm to show my parents that I can handle but deep inside I afraid and
clueless . I pray he is doing better by morning... Otherwise I will have to watch Danny and mom get better because we cannot afford to go to the doctors...

*Sigh*  I know he will be better.

Well noe that I have written about everything... how about me... hahaha  well no there is no smile in my face. I have been having this headache not in my right opcipital but in my forehead... it's almost as though I have this pressure and I have been sneezing/allergies... I think I have sinusitis... that is what i think but I am not sure, you know? On top od that there are 2 nerves on my neck that are inflamated... My mom massages my neck a little and it felt good but I don't want her to do it while she is sick because she uses too much energy and she can get worse. She told me she wanted to give me a push body massage but as much as I would love it if she does give me the massage a few things would be discovered and I would have some explaining to do. I wont be able to tell her I was burned but fixing my hair. Am I going to have to say... " Mom, I am sorry you don't or didn't know me but I use to be a very depressed person and I easily fall back into the it"... I don't know but it's not going to be the easiest thing to explain to a mother who has never understood people who are depressed... I don't know...  

If you could live during any time in history, when would you want to have been born and why?

Well if I was born at a time maybe late 30's so I can live in the 50's style and get married. I know it would be hard times through the depression but I really like how families lived in the 50's. I really liked the family values and the role the lady's had in the household. I have always been a more traditional value kind of girl and it's not like I want to put back all the work feminism has brought forth and given us the opportunity to new life but I think I would have fit more in that life time.

  
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What is the most beautiful thing in the world to you?

although, a cliche or what ever... but my son... Although I will be honest because when my son was born I saw him and I was so sad because he was the ugliest little thing in the world. Well maybe not the ugliest but most people always feel that when their children are born they are so happy and because they had never seen such beautiful beings but not me. But not that I didn't love him any less because I still loved him with all my heart. Now that I see him at the age of three talking, singing and playing... I love him more and more and find him more precious. To me he is the most beautiful thing in the world to me.

  
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What is your absolute favorite musical group? What makes them so special to you?

Well to be honest my favorite musical group is My Chemical Romance. I guess because when I went through really rough, depressive times their music really helped me get through from so many things. I guess when you listen to even "Emo" music it somehow felts you feel better and or find out that there have been others that felt the same way. To this day I still like them a lot. It's pretty much the only music of an artist I can listen to all the songs and play them over and over without getting tired after like 3-4 years.

  
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Is this blog of yours a secret from your family? If so, why?

Well it is in a way because I don't promote it but in the past I use to write really deep and heart felt things that I got rid of. I use to write for friends to help me out and know what was going on in my life without having to look for the help of family. I think if they ever got to read what I wrote they would understand me so much more... Maybe one day, huh?

  
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What does your handwriting look like?

It's funny because ever since I was younger my dad always said that I had a doctor's type of handwriting because it was always so messy. But yeah, I guess messy...

  
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Okay so I think I have a quick minute. I know yesterday I was so freakin' exhausted yesterday. Well yesterday I finally took Danny to a birthday party he had been asking to go to for the last couple of days. He even started to let go of the diapers as an incentive for me to take him to the party. So we got to the party and well I did feel a little .out of place. I only knew one person but I really wasn't there to socialize, I was there for Danny to have fun. We were pretty much the only minority and I forgot how weird one can feel not being in a comfortable environment. Well not only was a minority racially but age wise as well. I did feel a little awkward the whole time but I didn't mind because Danny was having so much Fun. I spoke to a couple of people. I was sitting and I was talkign to someone and a Lady figured out that I was a Redlands' Alum and so she spoke to me briefly. The other person I spoke to was my 3rd Level Theory Teacher in Redlands. He brought mr up to date to what was going on in school and well it seems as though the situations haven't gotten any better.Well we were there the couple of hours and I started to leave at 2:30... Danny started giving a fit because he didn't want to leave but I was ready to run a little. The lady that invited me she is so nice and I like talking to her but I didn't feel a little out of place. Maybe I was the only one who left like that, I don't know.

Danny left crying because he didn't want to leave because of the birthday party. But it was time to go anyways.

I went driving for a while and well first I was trying to figure how to get out because I was not sure where in Redlands I was at but once I figured it I headed to the Good Ol' U of R. I wasn't sure if the Multicultural was on saturday so I was going to go around Campus and verify and it was so I went to the parking lot behind the Chapel and I parked. Well we were some African drums so I took Danny to go check them out and it finished so we went walking for a while. I took Danny to the jumpers and at first they were fine and wanted to g oin for the first time so I took his shoes off and well he was without shoes for the rest of the day.  Well I took him to get ice cream and then he wanted to go back to the the jumpers and I took him. He started jumping and having so much fun. Yesterday was the first time he go into a jumper and started being a little more independant.  I got to see my lil sis Veronica Davila and a few other girls and new actives... I spoke with them for a while.  It was mostly Danny and I and well me chasing him everywhere.  I had been waiting for the Indian dancers. I always look forward to them every year. But this time the festival was made longer because they usually come out at 5pm and this time I think not until like 6:30. I was quite dissapointed because by that time Danny was so tired so he asked me to go. I would have waited the half and hour but he couldn't handle. They are awesome. I also got to see Diego, my son's aunt's fiancee, for a brief moment. It was nice seeing him after such a long time. The funniest thing was when Danny was in the jumper. He was so happy and Well Jennifer Thomas, another girl that went to Kaiser and played Clarinet was managing the jumper. He would just spend his time there and go to go. After that one time we went to go sit down at a table she had friends at the table next to where I was sitting. Danny had just told me he wanted to go to he jumper and he sees her.  He goes to her and taps her twice. it was the cutest thing in the world. He tells her, " I wanna go to the jumper" And she tells him you have to ask mommy. Of course I had seen how he reacted being with her and I said yes... Danny  had me all over the park which I didn't mind but he would have had more fun if he had another kid to play with. He was trying to follow older kids.

After that I went and took Danny to the car and sat him in his chair. Well I had been talking to cristal, a cousin , well actually my mom's cousin but we say she is our cousin because she closer to our age. She is inbetween my sister and I. Well on thursday we went to go pick up some products from her mom, my mom's aunt, and well they were just there and she was sitting in her sofa. I didn't think anything of it. When we went to the car. My aunt or great aunt... I don't know... she told us that her daughter was pregnant. I was surprised because a few months back she had had a scared and well I wasn't sure if it was the same one. But when we where inside I coldn't see a thing. Well I was wondering why she didn't tell me this time but time flies. Well she told me on friday when she texted me. And we talked for a while via text and I told her if we could talk. So I went over on Saturday night. And wow she is pretty big. I was so shocked. She is supposedly or she is 5 1/2 months but she is a little big for that but I don't know. But she is excited and I am happy for her. She is going to be having a boy and she is due on June 22nd in Arrowhead. Another baby. Our aunt isn't too happy but she is 23 now I mean I was wondering if she was ever going to setle down. So well I at least know she will calm down now. I am happy and excited for her.   I sometimes wonder what my mom will say since she is her Godmother... but things happen right. 

Oh and today Danny started going to the restroom. Even though he has his little toilet there in very accesible areas he instead started going to the real toilet. Well firstly he called me to the restroom to tell me he had pooped. And when I went in I almsot thoguht that in the floor but he had flushed the toilet so I didn't believe him so I had him bend over so I can check him and the funny thing was that he had and apparently he went in the restroom and flushed it. Now he goes to the rest room and standing up he will pee and put his undies back on and flush and leave. He just runs and does it by him self without asking for help. I was suprised because I didn't expect it but I am happy he has innitiative and is smart enough to go by himself stand and well as of now he still hasn't really needed help.

I was just confirmed for my cousin's daughter's 7th birthday this Saturday! I am sure Danny will be excited to hear about it.